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Northern Ireland 2002 (part 2)

The Big Trip 2


After an entire year cluttering up the spare room at Al's house Andrew Brooker (aka Beanhead, aka Sebbo, aka Ginger, aka the gay one, aka....well you get the picture) has finally moved over to Northern Ireland to spend the summer with his parents. After a holiday in Brazil Bean returned home last week, and last friday (9th of August) six of his freinds paid the Sebmeister a visit, here is a diary of the events specially prepared by one of the visitors for the benefits of all of those not priveleged enought to have made the trip!

Day 1, 09.08.2002, The Voyage

Six intrepid travellers set out on the gruelling voyage, these included two Brazil boys (Al and Rich), two Faliraki fanny chasers (Ben and Chunk), an Ibizian party boy (Tom Furber) and also a chubby Irish feller (Dazzy V). The day began early for Al, Rich, Daz, and Fubes with a trip to Liverpool with Als dad to go to the airport, where they would later meet the other two lads. Due to getting to liverpool several hours too early the four boys spent the morning in Liverpool centre before going to the airport to meet Sam and Ben. On arrival at the airport all the boys were well up for the trip, however one boy got slightly too excited. When questioned about the contents of his bag Daz thought it would be funny to hint that he was carrying a bomb, however the woman on the desk missed the humour in this and so Daz was forced to wait alone for nearly an hour before he was questioned by security and had his bag searched. He eventually got the guy to believe he wasnt actually carrying a bomb and was allowed to join the others in the departure lounge. Here the conversation involved a distance of 40 yards for some reason? Rich couldnt quite understand how far this was and so Fubes tried to help him out with a visual clue "Well its about two 18 yards boxes and 4 metres!" Ohdear Tom! This left Rich even more confused and later at tea Rich explained why everyone laughed "I knew it wa stupid cos that comes to 30 yards!" Oh dear Richy! A few beers were sunk and the lads boarded the plane still pi55ing themselves at just how thick Daz had been, after all even Rich had managed to get through without any problems.

After the short flight to Belfast the lads picked up their bags and awaited the arrival of Sebbo to pick them up. When he arrived Al the crip insisted on having shotgun cos of his gammy leg, the other two places in this car were filled by Ben and Fubes as they didnt want to go in a taxi. However they soon regreted this eagerness as Sebastien told them the others weren't getting a taxi, instead his next-door neighbour was picking them up and he soon rolled up in a drop top merc, can't win em all eh?! The short journey was soon completed and the lads were soon basking in the Irish sunshine at Beanos yard playing a quick game of footy with some nippers, who embarresed Chunk with a few megs, and mullered furber so bad that he had to retire inside early. Sebbo then cooked the lads some tea, using all of his gay chef attributes to make a very tasty Spag Bol. After tea everyone showered and changed for a night out in the local town of Ballymena.

Before leaving we picked up another member for the group, Sebbo's nextdoor neighbour Gaz. A genuine Northern Irish bloke we thought that this 21 year old would be useful in guiding us around the hotspots of Ballymena, how wrong we were! He decided that our first stop should be the local Weatherspoons, always a safe bet. So in we strode straight to the bar and the drinking began. Trying to find a place to sit was difficult but eventually we secured some seats right next to a an 18th birthday crowd. Daz asked why they were having a 16th party in a pub, desptie a lass with a big 18 badge walking round in front of him, "Well they dont all look 18" was his excuse. We settled here and as the drinks flowed everyone relaxed, feeling less threatened and so the beer flowed. Unfortunately Chunk then decided to regail us with a story of some fight in a football match which involved a lot of threatening. His foghorn voice strayed accross the room and caught the attention of a mean looking skinhead, who really didnt need to be messed with. Seeing the approaching monster Al and Rich quickly silenced Chunks sshouting and the bloke left. However him and his freinds didnt remove their gaze from us for the next half hour and so we thought it a good time to leave. So much for the safety of Weatherspoons.

Attempting to find somewhere a little safer we heaed to a place called the George (i think). A much quieter place with a genuine Irish feel  several of the boys decided to have themselves a pint of Guiness. We sat down and everyone felt far more at ease. Then much to Als delight a bloke struck up on the guitar, a bit of live music and he'd take requests, heaven. However his delight was short lived when the guy refused to play La Bamba, despite a lot of asking, then pleading, then downright begging! He also wouldnt play 'Peaches' and so we weren't too immpressed. He soon pulled us all round though with a spot of Tracy Chapman, and everyone was happy. So happy in fact Rich thought it a good photo chance, so up he stepped, only for a bunch of Irish birds to call him to get a photo with them. So he strolled over and Al went to get the photo for him. However Als sh1tty camera refused to work and so big Dazzy V came over to help out, telling the ladies he was a "Professional Tographer", whatever that might be. Finally the picture was taken and we settled back down to conversation. However then Chunk pulled off his second major blunder of the night be falling backwards off his stool right in front of the birds, oh well Sam you didnt have a chance anyway!

After Sams embarresing incident Gaz decided he'd take us to the hot night spot of little old Ballymena, the Grouse (even Vis sounds good next to that!). So in we went, and it was actually quite good. The place was rammed and their were a lot of birds about, so it seemed all good. After a quick gypsys we got the beers in and hit the dance-floor. And it wasnt long before a few ladies took the bait. In an amazing move it was Seb who got the first bird, although she was offensively ugly. Realising the embaresment of Seb pulling and the others not efforts by the others were doubled, and Ben soon hooked up wth the mingers mate, who was much better it must be said, despite Daz naming her "Braceface". Then even more shockingly another bird came onto Seb and lead him away to the side of the club. Al took his chance now and copped off with her mate, who wasnt too shabby, and neither was SEbs bird. Als bird then seemed to try it on with Fubes and Gaz, before returning to Al for a goodbye kiss, she knew where the good stuff was, haha. Chunk then dropped his third clanger of the night by pulling the minger that Bean had left behind, oh dear Sam, how desperate? Fubes also notched, though i didnt get a good enough view to judge her. So with the night at an end we headed home in a taxi, to sink a final tinny at home before retiring to bed, the first night in NI was over, and it had been a good laugh. What would Belfast bring tommorow.....

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