Callys Corner

 Look how Peggys fitness regime is paying off!

 Bloody Hell, I'm wasting away on my new sensible eating plan!!      !            mmmmmm pie!

MANDY              PEGGY                     SUE              LINDA                   PIKEY

Meet the Topaz Totty, while the lads are slumming it in a tatty apartment block in Tenerife, four of the lads better halfs and Neil Wilsons wife Linda are swanning off on a 5 Star Cruise on the Lurveboat SS Topaz, around the mediterranean, all expenses paid.As you can see from the pictures they have put the effort in to get themselves looking the part for their holiday and I feel its time the males did the same.I just hope they come back looking as good what with the eight meals a day,24 hour buffet and free booze! As with the Tenerife 18, there will be further updates on the Fabulous Five as the weeks progress.

9th March. Hoyle Cup Quarter Finals. Shelley 1 Heywood Sports 2. Scorers: Taylor, Fuller.

Heywoods reached the semi's of the Hoyle Cup for the first time in their history on the back of a much improved second half performance against 1st division Shelley. The first half was a very poor affair against an ordinary but hardworking Shelley side, even so we continued to miss clearcut chances despite replacing the unfortunate but goal-shy Franny Warne with top goalscorer Tich Taylor up front. Playing uphill against a strong wind we turned round 0-0and the team were made aware of their shortcomings in the half-time break. The second half saw us play more like the team we are, Andy Fry and Kev Ashe started to control the midfield and the back four were solid with both Josh and Gary making good progress down the flanks. We at last managed to score the opening goal after good work down our left side, the cross was flicked on and a jubilant Tich finished from close range. We were all over them now and it wasn't long before Paul got his now customary goal after beating the offside trap and rounding the keeper and slotting it into an empty net. Changes were made with Franny coming on for Richard Walsh and Tich moving out to wide right. More chances were created but we couldn't add to the total, Danny trying to lob the stranded keeper managed to slice it at 90%. Cue his replacement, with Blackpool Pete(distraught after finding out you need 5 games to play in the semi) coming on. With about 10 mins to go our inability to finish was highlighted when on a rare excursion in to  our half they managed to nick a goal and cause palpitations on the touchline.Kudos to Ernie here,because though under-employed he kept his wits about him to pull off two excellent saves, one in each half. Up to our scoring the ref had had a decent game,but from then on he made some strange decisions, denying us a clear penalty when Paul was felled in the box and a goal after a great run by Josh ,a pass to Paul who then fell over after running into their defender, the ball ran free to Josh who put it in and the ref disallowed it for Paul holding down the defender! A corner he gave as a dead, and the final straw was calling Paul offside, who was strolling back with his hands in the air after an attack 10 mins previous. All this was too much for the assistant coach, who despite chatting amicably about cricket to him, then lambasted the ref for a good 5 mins before being warned he would be sent from the touchline if he carried on. A shameful incident, not in keeping with the Heywoods tradition. As Shelley pushed for the equalizer they left themselves wide open at the back, but once again our generous forwards let them off the hook. Still a good recovery after a wretched first half and with Moldgreen beating Coach 4-0 we have them or Syngenta to look forward to in the semi's on Easter Saturday.  Finding out both 1st and 2nd teams had lost in their semi's somewhat dampened our joy at winning,lets hope they play more to their potential in the coming weeks.Cally.

2nd March. Arthur Coupland Trophy.  Heywood Sports 4 Stag 2. Scorers: Fuller(2), Walsh(2).

Report later, still arguing with Brenda Dempsey over the penalty that wasn't!

Sorry for the delay,pressures of work and all that, plus bored silly having to write how we missed loads of chances again with Sideshow Fran and Mr. Blobby the main culprits once again. The play up to their box was very good for most of the first half even though we had to change the team slightly with Andy Fry working and Chris Jennings injured after dropping his make-up bag on his foot. Tich was on the bench after going awol last week so we had Mick Unt in midfield and Blackpool Pete at the back with Strud. The breakthrough finally arrived with Richard Walsh sidefooting home from close range, but we were unable to add to this despite the willingness of the referee to let play flow,either that or he'd lost his whistle, and we turned round to face the strong wind only 1-0 up. Our play deteriorated in the second half and  with probably their only two worthwhile efforts on goal, the second seeing concrete boots Ernie being lobbed from 25 yards by our favourite Brenda! This is when the coach earned his corn by injecting the pace of Tich on the left hand side and moving Danny into midfield in place of Mick Unt. We began to get back on top and from an ensuing corner, swung in expertly by the petulant Kev Ashe(see Toilet of the Week), Paul planted a good header passed their keeper. It was now one way traffic again and very soon Paul had his second with a nice flick. Richard was now becoming more involved and finished off the scoring after dancing passed two men and hitting a good drive into the onion bag.A good end to a frustrating game with the stand in ref coming in for some stick from the mouthy Stag team that would have been nipped in the bud if we had put just half of our chances away earlier on. Chris and Andy will be back for saturdays quarter final at Farnley Tyas,lets hope our finishing improves. Cally.

23rd February. Cumberworth 0 Heywood Sports 1. Scorer: Fuller.

It was fitting that our best result of the season should confirm our promotion to Division 1. Arriving at Denby the weather appeared to have calmed down but within minutes of entering their palatial changing rooms, Halle Berry from the X-Men appeared and whipped up a blizzard. Having seen the unfamiliar faces, and finding their 1st and 2nd team games were off, coupled with the awful weather, I was apprehensive about getting the win we required to force Berry Brow to win their remaining 4 games to pip us to promotion. Even with Tich not turning up(again), we still had 3 subs, Kev Ahse being on the bench after sustaining an injury last week and Blackpool Pete filling in. Strud lost the toss, which at the time we bemoaned as I would have liked to have played down hill with the blizzard in the second half, however it turned out to be a godsend as although the wind probably got stronger in the second half, the snow and hail stopped and the sun came out. It was obvious from the kick-off that we were up against a stronger team than usual , with only 3 regular 3rd teamers playing and the majority part of their first team that only lost 2-0 to our own 1st team in the cup.Nevertheless we put them under pressure and created 3/4 good chances that should have resulted in goals, once again Batman and Robin up front failing to find the Batcave! The half was not all one way traffic and they created a couple of chances, one of which Ernie saved well with his feet. Midway through the half one of their 3rd teamers went off injured, allowing another 1st teamer to come on.They re-jigged their left-hand side with the mouthy 1st team left winger having had enough of Josh's "close attention" moving back to full-back.The only complaint I had coming up to half-time,apart from the missed chances, was that our defence dropped too deep, with the storm at our backs, downhill, we should have kept them in their own half. The referee was being very lenient with some of their tackles, they didn't like being showed up by a third team, but we gave as good as we got. 0-0 at half time and I feared the worst, but they say God smiles on the righteous and as soon as we got on the pitch the snow stopped and the sun came out. The second half made me proud to be associated with this team,despite being under intense pressure at times, they barely gave Cumberworth a chance of any note,indeed, their most dangerous effort came from a mis-hit centre that was blown across our empty net. We looked dangerous on the break and one of these created the all important goal. Richard Walsh and Pete combined to send the much maligned Franny scooting down the wing where his pinpoint cross was beautifully headed home by Paul Fuller to give us a deserved lead. Cumberworth got more and more desperate and flung everyone forward but were met by a brick wall, with excellent covering and tackling by Struddy, Josh, Gary and the outstanding Chris Jennings, with Ernie behind them to mop anything up. Andy Fry had also worked his socks off in midfield, and Pete had controlled the ball, ably assisted by Danny and Richard out wide. Kev assured me he was OK, and with Pete beginning to tire, he is nearly 40 with a kid on the way, he was sent on to a great reception from the big crowd, the sheep were really excited! We continued to soak up the pressure quiet comfortably and they were reduced to complaining how long it was taking Ernie to retrieve the ball from the back of the goals, disregarding their own tardiness in the first half. We possibly should have added to our tally with some good balls over the top from Gary 'Spoonboots' Oldroyd and Kev sometimes gave us 2 against 1 but I don't like to be picky. Both Mick Hunt and Chris Burton were given short run outs and Mick had a good effort that skimmed the post. Final whistle went and a great result that with Berry Brow only drawing with the Stag gave us promotion. Dave and I were really chuffed, Dave was so hyped up he had two bowls of soup at the Star and put £3 worth of petrol in his car! Well done to everyone, now lets win those cups!   Cally.

16th February. Heywood Sports 1 Britannia Sports 1. Scorer: Fuller.

Once again we resisted the chance to play some 1st teamers, with them having a free day, and stuck with the lads that had been doing the job for us in the previous weeks. Our match reports are getting monotonous to write lately, we dominate the match, we miss plenty of chances, they score against the run of play, we drop points, it costs us the league title. Gary Oldroyd was 'rested' for this game,having returned from a week on the 'piste' and we started with Danny Gubbini at left back , who together with Josh Williams was the pick of the bunch.Another plus point was a referee turning up at the last minute(although he regretted it later), he was supposed to ref out in the sticks but got delayed so they gave him our match, saving Dave from having to put his dodgy knee under pressure. I had to decline due to my rampant Heelspur. The pitch was in poor condition and not conducive to our flowing football, though with it being one of the smaller pitches at LRPF, Kev Ashe was happy. Playing with the wind and the sun at our backs we pressurised their back four from the start with Kev and Andy Fry controlling midfield  without creating clear cut chances but plenty of half chances that were duly spurned by our dynamic duo up front. Both Richard Walsh and Tich seemed off the pace but still caused plenty of problems for their respective full-backs. The breakthrough finally came with Paul Fuller pouncing on a loose ball in the box and rifling it home. First of many we thought. Doh! Only one nil at half-time but still optimistic about finishing them off. We had an early setback in the second half when Kev had to come off with an injury to his hairless shin, giving Pete Everest the chance to impress . He slotted in nicely and with Andy doing all the tackling began to pass the ball nicely. Still the killer goal wouldn't come, Kev having earlier burst through the defence and with only the goalie to beat basted it wide. Both Franny and Paul continued to miss good chances and we had a couple of good shouts for penalties. Richard was brought off, Gary went in at fullback and Danny moved to right midfield but good approach work was wasted in the final third. Having two substitutes left for one place, I used my football acumen to decide who to replace the hard working but impotent Franny, and asked them to call heads or tails, Chris Burton won so unfortunate Mick Hunt had to miss out. Chris made an instant impact by passing straight to their men on three occassions, one of which resulted in a big boot up field, a flick on and their forward hitting a good angled shot passed the underemployed Ernie to score with their only shot on goal in the second half. We tried to get the winner but it just wasn't going to happen. It was like a kick in the teeth when the final whistle went and it was made worse when Mouse from the Coach & Horses rang me to say they'd beaten Stag 9-0 and how had we gone on? We must win our last game at Cumberworth and then rely on Coach or someone else beating Berry Brow to claim that runners up spot. It transpired after the game that some lowlifes had broken into the refs changing rooms and nicked their wallets etc, and done away with three of their cars. If any one knows the culprits I hope you blow the whistle on them!    Cally.

2nd February. Stag 2 Heywood Sports 2. Scorers: Walsh, Gubbini(D).

With Coach and Horses losing to Britannia last week and their game already called off, it was an opportunity for us to go back to the top of the table. An opportunity, that due to a mudbath of a pitch, some woeful finishing, bad luck, good goalkeeping and dare I say it, downright cheating by the home referee, we were unable to capitalise on. Their team was slightly improved on previous games, probably due to their 1st team game being off, but we were still confident of winning comfortably and we started off well on top, putting their defence under pressure but once more not finishing off the chances we were creating. We were made to pay for our inadequacies in front of goal when a long ball caught us out and we were 1-0 down. We continued to try and play football, sometimes too much in the quagmire, and desereved our equaliser when Tich, suffering from an earlier deadleg, put in a lovely crossfield ball for Walshie to run onto and finish well. Calamity, we were caught in possession on the half-way line and their forward was put through and he finished well. 2-1 down at half-time and playing up the slope in the second half. What transpired then was as one -sided a second half as I've seen as we pounded their goal without getting the breakthrough we deserved. Twice we were through on goal when the ref blew for offside, we missed 2/3 great chances before finally equalising when Danny squeezed it in from short range. Further pressure as we went for the winner only for Struddy to be denied from a corner when their fullback blatantly handled on the line for a clear penalty that the ref somehow construed as being accidental. In the ensueing melee one of our players was asked to leave the pitch but was subsequently reinstated and the game resumed. The final minutes saw Richard Walsh shoot wide and then the miss that earned Franny Warne Toilet of the Week. If only we could finish(Paul Fuller) we'd have walked this league. Never mind, cup quarter finals this week!   Cally.

26th January. Cumberworth 2 Heywood Sports 6. Scorers: Fuller (3) Yes 3, Taylor(2), Oldroyd.

The 1st and 2nd team games had been called off before we reached the Flyboat, but such is our confidence in the squad we didn't add any of them to the team. The long trail to the ground found the pitch heavy but playable, the main problem was going to be the gale blowing down the slope. We welcomed back Josh and Danny from their sojurn with the 1st team the previous week and because of Gary Oldroyd arriving late, due to him thinking the field was at Denby Dale CC and not Denby CC FOR SOME UNKNOWN REASON, these two started in the full-back positions. Struddy won the toss and wisely decided to play uphill and into the wind in the 1st half. We started off very confidently, passing the ball well while keeping it on the deck where possible. Most of the early play was down the left hand side, with Danny and Tich combining well to create a couple of good chances that deserved a goal. Kev and Damien had control of the midfield and Franny and Paul were making good runs behind their defence. One such inroad resulted in Paul firing the ball against the far post. As the half wore on Cumberworth got more into the game and their first real shot on goal left Ernie stranded as, wind assisted, it flew into the corner. Such were the conditions both Dave & I would have been happy to turn around 1-0 down but we were delighted when Paul smashed a loose ball into the net from 8 yards for us to go in all-square at half-time. We asked the lads to keep playing close control football and not be hitting long balls and within minutes of the re-start it payed dividends when after several passes, Tich cut in from the wing and buried it passed the flayling keeper. Two minutes later a carbon copy goal sent us on our way and it was one-way traffic. Not to be outdone, an improving Paul Fuller then hit two on the spin to register his hat-trick. Meanwhile, changes had been made with the fast tiring Kev Ashe(its the only thing he's fast at) being replaced by Andy Fry in the centre and Franny(firing blanks again) replaced by Gary Oldroyd UP FRONT! After Paul had hit his hat-trick goal he was given a well-earned rest and Pete Everest,still on the comeback trail, went to the right hand side of midfield and Richard Walsh was pushed up front. This almost immediately paid dividends with Richard hitting a great shot that cannoned off the far post. This was the fourth time we had hit the woodwork, with Damien hitting first the post with a shot and then with a header. The 6th goal finally arrived with sniffer Oldroyd spinning Turd Muller- like to scuff the ball into the net. 6-1 and a comfortable victory.However with 5 mins left our smugness was given a shake when they finished off a decent move with a good finish to make it 6-2 and then disaster struck, when a late sliding tackle ended with the full weight of the offender landing on Damiens upper torso and causing what was later found to be confirmed as a dislocated shoulder. The poor lad was in great pain and with the biting wind was soon freezing aswell,despite being covered in tracksuits and coats and bobble hats.The ambulance took nearly an hour to reach us due to the confusion between Denby, Upper Denby, Lower Denby,Denby Dale and Cumberworth,no wonder Gary got lost! When it did arrive, one and a half efficient paramedics raced to the scene and proceeded to torture Damien before deciding they had better go back to the ambulance and get some equipment. With a helping hand from Paul Fuller, who was hindering the  rescue by trying to chat up the female paramedic, they were back with a stretcher, splints, blankets and most importantly pain killing gas. After a few snorts of this Damien was doing Oasis impressions and passing it round. He was lifted on to the stretcher and with the help of the Heywoods Pallbearers was taken over the two fields back to the ambulance, where a fight ensued about who would go with him and who would go to the pub.In the end Chris Jennings forced us to let him go and we reluctantly trudged off to the pub. As you can see from Damiens message in the Guestbook he will be out sometime, and will be sorely missed as we run on to the MacAlpine pitch. Last thought, a big thank you for all the support from the 1st and 2nd team, it brought a tear to my eye. Sarcasm mode off!  Cally.

19th January. Lindley Lib 3 Heywood Sports 5. Scorers: Taylor(2), Oldroyd, Fuller, Ashe(Pen).

A fixture that should have been an away game for us turned into a home match of 40 mins each way due to Lindley not being able to find the keys to the large tincan thatserves as their changing rooms. Luckily for them there wasn't an official ref and after waiting over half an hour a quick phone call to LRPF had us all rushing down there. The match eventually kicked off at 2.45p.m and within 10 mins we were 2-0 up, the adventurous full-back Gary Oldroyd finding their keeper in a generous mood, fumbling his shot(for once not finding the canal) into the net. This was followed by a good finish from Tich Taylor after excellent work from Richard Walsh down the right wing. A certain amount of complacency set in and we were punished for some casual marking by a bright finish from their centre forward. We soon got back on top and another cool finish from Tich calmed us down at 3-1. Numerous chances had gone begging with Paul Fuller the main culprit and it was fitting the goal he eventually scored came off his size 38D cup. 4-1 at half-time and the coaching staff were looking for more goals. We had played well in parts with flashes of good football but were still prone to errors. The second half continued in the same manner with us dominating the proceedings but not finishing our chances, Paul and Tich both missing open goals. Damien McNulty had been working his socks off while trying to pull Asheys up and he had been fouled on numerous occasions without getting a free-kick. A foray into the box, a lunging tackle and at last a penalty was awarded that Kevin planted confidently into the back of the net, Much to the annoyance of a Ginger Whinger in goals,who, having had nothing to do all afternoon wanted to join in.However, once more slackness at the back allowed Lindley to score twice near the death and make the score look as if it had been relatively close when in reality it had been very one-sided.Josh and Danny had gone with the 1st team, Miles and Ollie were working but we still had a strong team with Andy Fry dropping to right back,Gary left back, Chris Jennings and Strud twin centre halves. Most of the game they coped well,just the odd time when we tried to be too cute when a good old fashioned hoof would suffice. A midfield of Kev and Damien with Richard and Tich out wide were well ontop with Richard in particular having a much better game,realising when to pass the ball and when to run at defenders a lot better than in previous weeks.The two front men, Franny and Paul, didn't have one of their better games, but can't be faulted on their effort.With Chris Knott,Chris Burton and the evergreen Blackpool Pete on the bench the substitutions could be introduced with confidence and bringing on Pete when we were 5-1 up helped Lindleys confidence no end! Cumberworth away this saturday and still the Hoyle Cup quarters to look forward too.   Cally.

5th January. Heywood Sports 2 Berry Brow 0. Scorers. Warne,Burton.

Not having a game since our disappointing and title costing defeat against Coach & Horses this was our first chance to get some pride back and consolidate our position as runners-up and thereby get promotion. Unfortunately our players hadn't read the script and proceeded to give their worst 45 minutes of the season! Against a very young but enthusiastic side we seemed to still be suffering from New Years hangovers. To be fair we had to make one or two changes to the line-up with Damo. Ernie, Chris Jennings  and Miles all missing, meaning Kev Ashe had to start in goals still with heavy swelling to his shin from the last game. Although not under a great deal of pressure he coped well with anything that came his way. The 1st half was very frustrating to watch with our control and passing woefully inadequate and the lack of talking once more a problem. The effort was there, it was just the application, the only exceptions being Josh (outstanding in the 1st half) and Gary, who played solidly throughout barring his 1st half shot that hit the canal, in Mirfield! There was a marked improvement in the 2nd half and we started to get on top with Andy and Danny bossing the midfield and Richard Walsh using the ball more sensibly than in the first and getting some decent crosses in. Changes were made throughout the half with Mick Hunt coming on for Ollie and Danny moving to left back and minutes later another debutante to the 3rd team, Chris Knott, came on for Paul Fuller up front. Chris injected that extra bit of pace and soon was worrying their defence and he helped cause confusion between their back four and the keeper for Franny Warne to nip the ball from the keepers grasp and put it into the empty net. 1-0 and we just about deserved it. With 10 minutes to go Franny was brought of and Chris Burton was shoved up front, another astute substitution by the coaching staff, for following a good free-kick from Gary, Chris Knotts effort was blocked and Chris Burton followed up to hit a sweet left foot into the net. This win puts us 6 points clear of them,but they do have a game in hand so we can't afford to lose another game.  Cally.

22nd December. Heywood Sports 1 Coach & Horses 3. Scorer Collins.

Me ill, lost to bogey team again, won't win league, update later!

15th December. Berry Brow 0 Heywood Sports 6. Scorers: Taylor(2),Warne,Fuller, Walsh, Gubbini(D).

Against one of our closest rivals for the title, we were expecting a hard match, but we completely blew them away with the best 45 mins football of the season. A 5-0 half-time scoreline was a true reflection of the way we had played. The 1st goal was simple enough with Franny Warnes persistence being rewarded as he followed up his own shot and forced the ball in. The 2nd was down to good work from Tich Taylor as he scored from an acute angle. The 3rd goal was a great move from our own half with five passes culminating in a great cross from Miles being met with a prodigious leap from the spring heeled(new boots) Tich who planted a great header into the net. Paul Fuller scored a goal his hard work deserved but we ended the half with a superb strike from Richard Walsh that bent and swerved past the bemused keeper.A great first half with Ernie a virtual spectator and Damien putting in a man of the match performance in midfield, tackling well and always finding a man with good passing. Miles was doing his bit aswell to ensure we dominated the midfield and with the two wide men working hard we were a constant threat to their beleagured defence. As last week, the 5-0 scoreline gave us the opportunity to give the subs a good runout and with our 2nd half performance going a bit flat Fran was replaced by Danny Gubbini and moments later Gary was replaced by Ollie. Berry Brow put a lot more effort in the 2nd half and though they didn't really create any chances Ernie had to deal with a couple of long range efforts. Danny and Damo were combining well and we started to get back on top .Chris Burton was then brought on for Paul Fuller who had worked tirelessly up front and appears to be feeling the benefits of playing saturday and sunday.Chris started up front but moved into midfield when Miles felt the force of a hard tackle,and showed some good touches. Danny scored a good goal with about 10 mins to go, placing a firm right foot shot wide of the keeper after neat approach work. 6-0 and a comprehensive victory, although the 2nd half was a tad disappointing it would be churlish to complain after the excellent 1st half. What was pleasing was another clean sheet(3rd on the trot) and the way the back four of Josh,Struddy Kev and Gary/Ollie kept their shape even when we were running away with the game. The players that have to miss games due to other commitments were not missed and will find it hard to force their way back into the team! Cumberworth away next week followed by the big one against Coach and Horses, who having drawn 0-0 on saturday against Britannia are just 1 point in front. As I've said previously we need to win every game to take the title and to that end i've booked us in the Fatbastards Health Farm for the 2 weeks over Christmas to ensure we are fully fit. Unfortunately I won't be able to attend but Dave Franklin will keep you on the straight and narrow. Merry Christmas,,,,  Cally.

8th December.  Hoyle Cup.  Heywood Sports 7 Cumberworth 0. Scorers: Walsh(2), Taylor(2),Warne,Fuller,O.G.

The thought of playing on the front pitches, against a team that had beaten us in the league and with their 2nd team not having a game and Dave Franklin off ill and the showers not functioning made me very wary of this cup tie. My fears were unfounded however when within 10 mins of the kick-off we were 3-0 up against a very poor side. This was their normal side languishing at the bottom of the league, where they got the players from to beat us earlier I just don't know as their 1st and 2nd teams had games that day. I regret to say my recollection of the goals and their order is slightly clouded by our complete dominance of the game(and free beer on the David Browns Over 40's night out), suffice it to say that Tich opened the scoring after a corner turned in by Gary Oldroyd would have gone in but Sniffer Taylor poked it over the line. This was quickly followed by goals from Richard, Franny, a good header from Paul Fuller and a 2nd from Tich. 5-0 at half-time and the luxury of being able to give our three subs a good run out. Ollie(back in the fold after his over exuberance) came on for the unwell Gary, Miles for Tich and Chris Burton for Paul Fuller. The second half was a drab affair with only further goals by Walshie and an own goal after good work by Walshie lighting up the proceedings. For an extra item on the game please see Toilet of the week. Sorry for the brevity of the report but I need inspiration for my writing and the paucity of the opposition robbed me of this!      Oscar Callaghan.

1st December.   Stag 0 Heywood Sports 5. Goalscorers: Warne(2), Walsh,Fuller,Taylor.

Match Stats: Heywoods - Shots 312, Shots on target 12, Shots off target 300, Shots straight at keeper 7.

As you can see from the above stats we totally dominated the game and played some good passing football against a very poor Stag side. The game kicked off 20 minutes late due to the tardiness of the opposition and its only when you visit places like Ridgeways that you appreciate LRPF. Once again it was a difficult task to pick the starting eleven and Andy Fry, Tom Gubbini and newcomer Riccy Boyes can count themselves unlucky to be on the bench with Lee Tracey not even there! The game began with our own Dave Franklin having to ref and after a brief sparring session we soon got on top and it wasn't long before we opened our account with a close range finish from Richard Walsh, albeit after a suspiciously looking handball unseen by the ref. This went down really well with the opposition and it began an almost non-stop moaning marathon, usually involving Brendan Dempsey, if not at Dave then between themselves. We quickly scored a second after good approach work thru' the middle, converted by Fran Warne at the near post, once more calls of handball and offside went up all to no avail and Dave awarded a perfectly good goal. They proceeded to lose their shape and we should have racked up a hatful before half-time but the shots were either straight at the keeper or woefully mis-hit. The second half continued in the same vein with good approach work being wasted by poor finishing until at last the ball was cut back from the byline for Franny to score his 2nd of the day and the 10th of the season, the first time he's ever reached double figures in his long and meaningless career!Chances contined to be squandered and after much prompting from the sidelines we injected fresh impetus with the introduction in relatively quick time of Andy, Tom and Riccy for Franny, Richard and Kev Ashe respectively, this was done to stop Kev killing any more birds in the trees at the side of the goals. We were rewarded almost immediately with the sight of Andy(after moaning at all the poor shooting) hitting a fine left foot shot that nearly reached the corner flag! Paul Fuller was then rewarded for his hard work by following up a cock up at the back and slotting it into an empty net and it was left to Tich, now playing up front,  to  finish off the game by adding a 5th goal near the end. A good display at the back giving Ernie very little to do and I at least found out how Mr. O'Donnell got his christian name, his shootings Miles off!  Same again in the cup except for the shooting bit! Cally.

24th November. No game for the 3rd team, but it was pleasing to see five of our players in the 1st and 2nd team squads,keep up the good work.

17th November. Heywood Sports 3 Coach & Horses 6. Goalscorers: Taylor(2), Oldroyd.

Little were we to realise what a debacle the match would turn into when Tich expertly turned in Danny Gubbini's excellent cross after just two minutes to set us off on what I thought would be a comfortable victory,indeed I was so confident I asked Dave to keep a note of our goalscorers! How mistaken I was.Although dominating the 1st half we suddenly found ourselves 2-1 down, with the first goal following a corner, despite having numerous chances to clear the ball they forced it over the line in a mad scramble. This was a shock to the system as they hadn't looked like scoring up to that moment. The second goal was the result of a complete miskick of the ball allowing their forward to run on unchallenged and slot it passed Chris J ennings in goal.Despite further pressure we never really created any more good chances and went into half-time 2-1 down. I didn't think the front two were causing enough problems though they both were working hard and I decided to bring on Lee Maturine for Paul Fuller.Lee had recently been part of a quartet of new signings and because of the 1st & 2nd teams being in the cup could only play for the 3rds this week.Although showing a good touch and awareness Lee was unlucky to be involved in what was our worst display of the season with individual errors gifting our opponents 3 more goals in quick succession before Tich scored his 2nd of the game to make it 5-2. Two more changes had been made with Miles and Ollie making way for Andy Fry and new signing Tom Hunt who both got involved immediately and with pushing Gary Oldroyd we got on top again.However another lapse at the back allowed them to score a soul destroying 6th goal,even then we kept pushing and some of their defending was desperate at times as they managed to clear the ball after numerous goalmouth melees. We were finally rewarded with Gary scoring a goal from an acute angle but definately a day to forget. I must add I was very disappointed with the reactions of some of the people involved with the game and hope that by the time we play Stag in 2 weeks the spirit of the team is back to what it was.Its not easy picking a team from 20 plus players and some are bound to be disappointed but we have to keep to the Heywoods ethics - win or lose we have some booze! Caliban

10th November.Britannia Sports 0 Heywood Sports 4. Goalscorers: Warne(2),Fuller,Ashe.

A poor first half(by our standards) was highlighted by two of the best goals we've seen this season. The first one a flowing move started and finished by the rejuvenated Franny Warne,now reaping dividends for the extra work he put in at Lilleshall,combining with Tich and Paul Fuller before sending an unstoppable shot into the roof of the net. The second one, a 20 yard blockbuster from Paul Fuller,measured at 65mph on the Shotometer.Although we were playing downhill and with the wind we were happy with the 2-0 lead at half-time as we thought the ball would hold up better in the second half and would suit our passing game better. This was to prove the case as we dominated play and Chris Jennings was rarely troubled in goal but kept his concentration to pull of a couple of decent saves. The back four were coping admirably with the conditions and the slope and full backs Ollie North and Josh Williams both pushed up to good effect while Ian Strudwick and Gary Oldroyd caused problems at corners.Our 3rd goal was somewhat of a scrappy affair and owed much to Frannys persistence as he managed to bundle the ball over the line.His loyal teammates were insisting it was an own goal but theDubious Goals Committee(after 3 pints) gave it to Franny.Danny Gubbini then came om for Richard Walsh and Paul Mellor later relieved Miles O'Donnell, both of them having played well but with the quality on the bench we felt the changes would not affect our momentum and it is our policy to give the subs a game where prudent.We continued to push forward and were rewarded with an excellent half volley from Kev Ashe. The coaches felt so confident with the 4-0 scoreline they even put Lee Tracey on for the last 15 mins,replacing Paul Fuller, who had worked hard throughout. Lee put himself about well and could possibly have scored on a couple of occasions. W e were well satisfied with the 2nd half performance and with players returning next saturday we feel confident of gaining revenge for the 5-3 defeat at Coach and Horses next saturday,lets be up for it and I don't want to catch anyone out on the Town friday night,I don't like having to go round the pubs and clubs but being a dedicated coach its something I have to do!  Caliban.

3rd November. Lindley Lib 1 Heywood Sports 7, Goalscorers:Warne(2),Fry(2),Gubbini(T),Strudwick,Taylor.

Apologies for the delay in the write up, I had just spent nearly 45 mins doing it when the power was cut off and it got deleted and I was too pi**ed off to start again! However the team got back to something like a table topping side with this demolition of a poor Lindley side,who combined with their 1st and 2nd teams managed to ship 22 goals with a return of 4! Making his debut for the season, well since he started courting actually, we welcomed back Chris Jennings in goal and he showed us what we had been missing with a near faultless display,including one outstanding save in the first half. With Miles O'Donnell drafted into the 2nd team we had a new look central midfield with Andy Fry and Kev Ashe dominating the early proceedings, indeed it was the former who put a lovely through ball to livewire Tom Gubbini to finish cooly and start us off on a one-sided victory.Fran Warne had been re-instated up front with the returning Paul Fuller back from international duty and he soon added a second and with Fryup converting a good cross from Richard Walsh he completed the first half scoring by knocking in the fourth. The second half began with us unable to continue the good passing and movement from the first half and it wasn't until M.O.M. Fry executed a cheeky chip for the fith goal that we started playing well again.Paul Akinbye Fuller was working hard up front but the goal kept eluding him.A fine volley from captain Ian Strudwick showed him how to do it and with the score at 6-0 we gave left back Ollie North a well deserved rest and brought on the tardy Richard Taylor for the final 30 mins. The clean sheet Chris had deserved was spoiled when following a rare Lindley corner young Richard Walsh was adjudged to have handled the ball by the referee old Richard Walsh and the resultant penalty gave Chris no chance. Order was restored when Tich finished off a flowing move from close range and the match finished 7-1.More of the same required next saturday at Britannia.  Caliban.

27th October.Heywood Sports 2 Cumberworth 3. Goalscorers:O'Donnell,Oldroyd. Referee:*&******"!!!"XXXXX!.A shock defeat for the table toppers by an outplayed but determined Cumberworth side with only one win to their name going in to this match.Despite losing four players to the 2nd team we still should have won this game and created enough chances to have the match sealed before their first shot in anger,one of fully 25 yards that flew over stand in keeper Andy Fry into the roof of the net.Being a shorthouse didn't help but the fellow ran 30 yards unchallenged before shooting, just one of a myriad of errors that littered our game.A frustrating half ended with us still 1-0 down. The 2nd half continued in much the same vein and became quite bad-tempered with the stand-in ref unable to clamp down on some on and off the ball incidents from both sides.Finally we scored what I thought was going to be the 1st of many when Miles at last shot with his right foot,on target and their keeper could not prevent it squirming from his grasp and over the line.Despite the majority of the play the 2nd goal would not come with chances going begging and a few of our younger players losing their discipline and their positions.An attack that had one of our players blatantly offside,not given by the ref,but with no end result,then saw a hopeful punt upfield with a Cumberworth player a good 10 yards offside result in no decision by the ref and finished off by the forward while our defence stopped and waited for the whistle to blow.Needless to say this caused some consternation among both players and coaching staff and was compounded minutes later when a ball was intercepted by their lone forward and calmly slotted passed Fryup.We never gave up and Gary Oldroyd pushed up and converted the 2nd of two good chances to give us hope of salvaging a draw but time ran out and the final whistle was greeted by the Cumberworth side as if they had won the F.A.Cup. We were informed afterwards that their team consisted mainly of their 2nd team,but we still should have won.Too many players were under par and I hope it was just a one off because I still feel we should win this league if we put the effort in.What was disappointing was seeing one or two players drop their heads and not battle,lets start again against Lindley and show how well we can play.

20TH October. Heywood Sports 5 Britannia Sports 1. Goalscorers: O'Donnell(2),Fuller,Taylor,Oldfield. Another well-earned victory kept us at the top of the table, this time it was Britannia 's turn to be overwhelmed by our neat passing game and potent strikeforce!Once more we hadn't a ref but stand-in Dave Franklin had very little to do and in fact only gave 3 free-kicks the whole game! Despite constant pressure for the first 10 minutes it was Britannia who took a shock lead when Fumbles Earnshaw made a hash of a simple save and after colliding with Kev Ashe dropped the ball at their attackers feet for a simple tap-in.Chances kept coming and at last the breakthrough came with Paul Fuller bundling the ball over the line after a block challenge on the keeper.Further goals were scored by Tich Taylor and Miles O'Donnell(2),one direct from a corner, both registering their sixth goals for the season.A 4-1 lead could easily have been doubled and with the game secure it was a chance to bring on the subs, Tim Oldfield for Paul Fuller, Paul Mellor for Fran Warne and Danny Farmer for Tich,all three had played well, and it was no reflection on their efforts just an opportunity to give the lads a runout.Tim of course would normally be in the 1st or 2nd team,but needed the run after returning from injury.With the depth of squad we have I wouldn't normally have included him,however, he duly obliged by scoring the 5th goal.Unfortunately this left our other two subs Chris Burton & Lee Tracey unable to come on and with four players back this saturday we might have to start a fourth team! The team will be posted on the site friday and in the Flyboat thursday,it will be done with the starting eleven first and then the subs, if your name is well down the list and you don't want to bother getting changed it will be understandable but I would ask you to turn up at the Flyboat if possible as things could change on the day.

13th October. Little John 0 - Heywood Sports 10(ten). Goalscorers:Taylor(5)Walsh(3)O'Donnell & Warne. A comprehensive victory over a poor but spirited Little John side saw us cement our posititon at the top of the league.We could have been 4-0 up in the first ten minutes,but once Richard Walsh netted from close range it was just a matter of how many.Richard Taylor,starting upfront for the first time, then proceeded to tear their defence apart and put five passed them in quick succession,the best of these being a well judged angled lob from outside the box.These goals coupled with a goal each from Franny Warne and Miles O'Donnell gave us a 8-0 half time lead.The first half was lit up by an astonishing miss by our own Ronnie Rosental,Gary Oldroyd, who managed to blaze it over the bar from 2 inches! The largely forgettable 2nd half was only punctuated by 2 more goals from Richard Walsh and the replacements of Damien McNulty by Andy Fry,Fran Warne by Chris Burton and Ronnie Rosental by Ollie North.Andy nearly adding to the tally with a thunderous drive that hit the bar.The excellent referee brought the game to a close, much to the relief of the beleagured Little John and to Heywoods,who were finding little enjoyment out of playing a well beaten side in the latter stages.To give credit to our defence,they held their positions when they could have been excused for wandering up front and they kept a clean sheet against an attack that scored 4 against the Stag last week.Kudos to a disciplined Ian Strudwick and our stand-in keeper Kev Ashe,who though under employed,still managed to pull off a couple of excellent saves.Good performances from the Gubbinni boys down the left flank and Josh Williams and Walshie down the right flank gave us extra width enabling us to dominate the game.We certainly have strength in depth with 15 players in the squad and another 5 or 6 available.I would like to take this opportunity to ask all the players to be patient and not get disheartened if not selectd every week, its a long season and injuries etc will affect us,this saturday for example we have at least four players missimg!Congratulations to the first team on an great victory 6-3 over Honley and commiserations to the 2nd,once more losing 4-2 after being in front.

6TH October. Heywoods 3rd team cruised to the top of the league with as comprehensive a 1-0 victory as you'll be likely to see.Erstwhile leaders,Berry Brow were outplayed for much of the game,indeed Chris Earnshaw had only one save to make(Thank God) throughout the whole game.The winning goal was scored midway through the first half with Tom Gubbibi getting the final touch to a Gary Oldroyd blockbuster,luckily the eagle-eyed ref was in a perfect position to see the ball had crossed the line before being cleared, it was nice to have a decent ref for once and the £20 expenses were well worth it! Richard Walsh got caught by a bad tackle, that went unpunished, and was replaced by Miles O'Donnell,normally a starter, but arrived late due to trying on ladies underwear for BHS customers.1-0 at half-time. The second half saw Heywoods even more dominant,Berry Brows sporadic forays into our half easily broken up by the twin centr halfs Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum. The one change that was urgently required was the removal of a clearly out of sorts Andy Fry from the midfield,assistant coach Dave Franklin was wanting him replaced after 10 mins of the first half but we persevered hoping his form would improve.This was not to be and much to the relief of the team and Andy himself he was replaced by Tich Taylor. Tich immediately made an impact and worked well with Josh Williams down the right flank,creating chances for himself and the two wasters up front.Both Paul Fuller and last weeks hero Franny Warne missed good chances but they were both involved with good approach play, just the finish was lacking.Overall a good performance and I will be disappointed if we don't win something this year so long as we can keep this squad together.

3rd October. v Brighouse Town. The apparent heavy 5-1 defeat belies the fact that the game gave many of our younger players the chance to gain valuable experience against opposition from a higher level.A good move and a well taken goal from Damien Beardsley put us back in contention at 2-1 after constant pressure on our goal,Mick Madigan doing well to thwart their attack on numerous occasions.Numerous changes were made at this point and before we could adapt to these changes a further goal and a converted penalty were scored before half-time giving Brighouse a 4-1 lead.The second half was much more even and while Brighouse were restricted to one further goal we were unfortunate not to add to our own tally with the ball hitting the post and a couple of goalmouth scrambles.All in all a good run out for the lads, with an introduction to young players like Josh Williams and Alex Kalinowsi and further games for Paul Quinn, Adam Bell and Richard Walsh,all U18S,non regulars Damien McNulty(good game at left back Morris!) and Paddy Carmody and a wealth of non-playing talent on the touchline things bode well for the club,indeed if Paddy hadn't have given them four goals we might have won.p.s. Sean O'Shea is no wingback!P.P.S. Don't get in rounds with Billy and JC,IT STOPS WHEN YOU GET TO THEM! The 3rd team bounced back from the 5-3 defeat at the Coach & Horses with a comprehensive 6-0 win over Lindley Lib.Fine flowing football was complimented with some deadly finishing, the star of the show(somewhat surprisingly)was Franny Warne with a hat-trick, Miles O'Donnell with two and Damien McNulty direct from a corner kick.The overall performance of the team was excellent albeit against a team of poor quality to say they had beaten the Coach & Horses team previously, the only blemish was poor refereeing at times,constantly awarding free-kicks for offside when young Howie was playing us on!With so many young lads in the team it certainly gives the coaching staff optimism for the future.