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Terry 'Terry' Davies
Age: 102
Role: President
May well have been a decent player (well, he talks a good game anyway ?), but this guy is so old, he probably invented the game !
Terry is St Marys through and through - rain (?)or shine he, usually makes an appearance (if they let him out of the nursing home of course !)
And the young females who occcasionally attend the games just can't resist him, with his trousers pulled over his tits and a pair of wellies ! A true Sex God !
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Mark 'Fonzy' Falzon
Role: 2nd Team Manager
He must be the ugliest player at the club ! He does think he is "Sir Alec", and would probably bugger him, given half a chance.
Has transformed an ageing and dwindling squad into a youthful (!) squad with promotion within touching distance. Has attracted a lot of young and talented players to the club.
But why does he play long balls on the park, when he preaches short passing in training ?? Baldy Bastard.
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Andrew 'Gabsy' Gabbidon
Age: 28
Gabsy, classy player who should be a 1st teamer ! But enjoys the buzz with the seconds ! Those extending legs of his make him one of the most diffucult defenders to beat (except when he passes the ball straight to the opposing forwards !)
His throw in's have improved over the years....the ball doesnt come down covered with snow anymore ! Is a regular (as you would expect) in the seconds, and has certainly helped tighten up the defence. He is still a moaning bastard though !!!!
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Matthew 'Vinny' Jeans
Age: 28
Finally back from Injury but still suffering with a painful groin. Has to take drugs to ensure the pain goes away before a game. Still a class act though.
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Chris 'Khanie' Khan
Hot Headed left back for the 2nds ! Likes to get stuck into the opposition, but often turns on his own team mates and threatens violence ! It all bodes well for a good team spirit !
Likes to take the set pieces....with his "talented" left boot. Anyway, he's a boring old bastard cos hes not coming to Ireland !
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