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Forename:     Surname:
  Frederic 'Prat-ini'  Bernardin
The lad's a Frenchman - anything could happen...especially if he's"Last Man" and trying his Amoruso tricks. After 20 years living in Scotland you'd think he understand what "Last Man" means but mebbe not. The Silver Fox has loads of tricks up his sleeves, loves to fanny about at the back and is an exceptional goalkeeper. Guilty of overdoing it on occasions, capable of sublime passes and is not averse to booting opponents up in the air when necessary - or when totally uncalled for. Uses the phrase "you were majestic today" to take the piss out of players who weren't. Introduced Brazilian Edson to one of our games at Meadowbank who very quickly viewed a tackle as a 50/50 with Millar - when clearly after the dust settled understood it had been a 70/30 in Millars' favour. Edson never played with us again.

  Henry 'Hector'  Bruce
Henry Bruce, Henry Bruce, Henry Bruce ( to the tune of "Here we go, Here we go, Here we go")
was a very late developer to the five a side malarkey. In fact Henry always referred to
football as a poof's game until he succumbed. Brilliant man marker, Henry follows the poor
sod he is assigned to like a demented bloodhound (but with more snotters) and then strikes
with his concrete shins to inflict immediate leg numbing with permanent bruising. His
breengeing runs at pace (not genuine pace though) down the left with precision left peg
strikes at goal often transmogrified into random sklaffs into the ceiling. Capable of
inspiring comments as diverse as "For **ck's sake" to "ouch" teammates and opponents felt
equally vulnerable. Now abandoned Leith for the US of A where he is now innocently
kicking lumps out of a new set of victims. Greatly missed, but Henry has never been known
to buy a round with his own money.

  Nick 'Fatarse'  Geldart
Age: 37
A once mesmerising midfield dynamo, clinical finisher now constrained by the ravages of time,too
many curries and way too many beers. Without doubt the worst goalkeeper on earth. Still has the
ability to move at a staggering pace and retain flashes of brilliance - though these are now
confined to the showers.
  Sean  Gormley
  John 'Pool Q'  Hutcheon
Age: 37
A late developer, insofar as he was absolutely crap when he began playing 12 years ago..something to do with playing Rugby
at school. Has now blossomed into a tireless, up and down the park, 1 and a half footed colossus...though he is shite in
goals too. Of special interest is the phenomenon known as the Hutcheon Haze which descends when things are not quite going
right..effect is usually a prostrate opponent who has been booted up in the air ( see Profile of Gordy Millar for copyright)
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