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29/8/2002 07:57 GMT  Ali-B
"U bat fastard, u bat fastard, u ate all the pies" I thought as much, your footsteps sounded a bit louder today mush 
29/8/2002 07:09 GMT  Rooster
Wern't bad Spring Rolls either! 
28/8/2002 18:18 GMT  Calm Down....
You lot get heated over nothing, christ , it was a friendly match played in right spirit and thanks to town lads for some of you coming back to pub,(Noticed Rooster/Frankie ate all the Spring Rolls!!). As Town Supporter says they were without key players likewise Farndon had 4 players missing fom 1st team squad.. You have good squad there ,lets hope all goes well for you lads, better than the bottom division for sure. 
28/8/2002 16:41 GMT  The real Farndon
No one from Farndon is boasting about a friendly  
28/8/2002 07:52 GMT  Town Supporter
I cant believe you bost about beatin a weakened Town side, they were without key players like Joe, Chris, and Alan who where all missing, thats nearly all the midfield regulars, and that was just the midfield, so maybe when u play a full side and beat us then we might respect the defeat.... I think another friendly is on the cards... oh and not to add insult but you only beat a 3rd division outfit by 2 goals.... Maybe the lack of respect for other teams will show in your own leagues this season, will shall have to see.... 
27/8/2002 18:07 GMT  Info to the dumb ones...
Reports only appear on Farndon site from 1st Sept the start of the season and have done for the past three years on the intheteam pages, when the season starts proper. However maybe during the past three years you were still at school learning to read and write so understand that you might not be able to grasp that aspect. Thanks for game Sunday and best luck to you this coming season, lets hope the form you displayed in friendlies carries on throughout the season. 
27/8/2002 15:52 GMT  Farndon "duffers"
Didn't see a report on their site when Chesters beat them, or when we drew with them! so fcuk off! 
27/8/2002 15:15 GMT  well said farndon
The name says it all! 
27/8/2002 10:01 GMT  Farndon
How come you aren't so quick to put match reports on when you lose 
26/8/2002 11:31 GMT  Venie
I'd just like to return Simon Ellison, I've had him in my pocket for the last 24 hours... Good game...Good Luck for the season 
23/8/2002 07:41 GMT  Local town supporter
Are u a slackin mr franks, i havent seen many match reports go up of recent. 
23/8/2002 07:18 GMT  Ali-B
Hey i wasnt being angry, well maybe i had a bad day at work... and i slighty reacted.. i didnt realise who Wilbur actually was.. Well they dont call me a pratt for nothing.... [Enimen plays here] Life would be so empty without meee. :) 
22/8/2002 15:38 GMT  Franks
Wahey! Ya can't beat abit of 'Angry Alan'! I can just imagine him going green and running round Eakring with his clothes all ripped!......Yeah I have to say you caught me out Alan, if Collingham Reserves aren't in our division on the 'League Tables' page then I obviously forgot them!......I think our fitness did tell last night (well, maybe not mine!), afterall that was our 7th friendly (I think) and everybodys looking sharp......I seriously doubt the First Team have a full team tonight, but you never know, we might get a pleasant surprise!......Cheers for ya kind words Venie. See ya on Sunday morning mate. Cheers lads! 
22/8/2002 13:35 GMT  Ali B
I luv how you self critise yourself Roost, so that ppl have simpify... but ill be honest, i think your a great tackler, i mean look at the way you tackled your woman on holiday, she came back as sore as a prune pushed through a cheese grater. 
22/8/2002 12:14 GMT  Rooster
God I love Alan's life story! PS I still don't think I can tackle! 
22/8/2002 11:20 GMT  Venie
Good to see the Town having such a great pre-season hope you can continue it lads and get promoted. After all the people slagging off you got when Town sunday side first formed you deserve it. I think it's Farndon XI you face you down there. 
22/8/2002 10:57 GMT  Ali-B
huh! if i had toe podded it i might have called it a fluke... But then again i suppose anyone can come on here and call someone elses goal a fluke... U obviously never saw me player when i was at my best before i got injured for 6 months at Southwell City.. My fitness has always been the problem... But now its comin back, u might wanna re-think that... I have scored better goals than that in my day m8.. PS. I always played out of position cos of the sh1t turn outs for Saturday teams, i only played in defence when i started playin for town.... and it aint my best position.... and to be honest i lost the will to play for the Saturday side, cos no-one seem interested... Hopefully theyll sort that season.. 
22/8/2002 09:02 GMT  Wilbur
Well played last night lads.Apart from the first 25mins. you gave us a right good going over . It highlighted to all my players just who was the fitter team and how we need to put in the extra effort in our next two friendlies.By the way, having played with quite a few of your lads for the Saturday side last season i was surprised to learn that Rooster could tackle and that Alan could actually hit a ball more than ten feet!! .....Mind you, Alan's goal has got to of been a once in a lifetime fluke....especially as we all know how he normally plays !GOOD LUCK FOR THE NEW SEASON.  
22/8/2002 08:36 GMT  Ali-B
Hey i just noticed, did Collingham Reserves get auto promotion or something, cos there not in our 3rd div league table franksee... Or have i caught you out there m8y... PS Thanks for your comments franks, did u get that goal on camera. hehehe. 
22/8/2002 08:22 GMT  Ali-B
Hey i said i was sorry for that, i could have killed my Mrs for tellin me she was working late, right at the last minute. Had to rush around to get a babysitter.. I felt like madmax in the car trying to get there. Thats 3 goals in the last 3 games now lads. Franks what happened to your shooting boots again m8. 
22/8/2002 07:09 GMT  Rooster
Thanks Franks, I might cut and psste that comment and frame it on my bedroom wall for when I retire. What a goal by Alan, but I'm not going to give him any more praise since he didn't pick me up until 18:20 last night! Anyway, does the First team actually have any players tonight? 
22/8/2002 00:05 GMT  edz
more to the point u didnt rush back cause u didnt think i could shoot that accuratly hey!!! anywya i will be back on here next week... reading festival has started to call me! unfortunatly i have to listen to good bands and drink beer!!! wot a shame. anywya check u laterz 
21/8/2002 22:40 GMT  Franks
Great win tonight lads! Beating Flowserve 6-3 is a great result, especially without 3 of our main defenders, two of our best midfielders and our most prolific striker! Thought James, Rooster and Alan were the pick of a good bunch tonight. To Edz; For that first goal I was caught off guards, I wasn't quite expecting our defenders to pass you the ball and let you shoot! And to ???; we're playing Farndon Reserves on Sunday Morning, we're not sure where it's at yet but should do soon. 
21/8/2002 07:04 GMT  Rooster
Yeah Cheers Edz, good game Sunday, but for the record, we are not aligaterz! 
20/8/2002 19:50 GMT  ???
Have we got a game this Sunday Morning? 
20/8/2002 12:38 GMT  edz
well well well,,, good game i thought which was played in good spirit. shame my dad messed around with the team and made us play with 10 players for 25 mins of the second half as it gave the advantage of play to u guys but still 4-2 cant really complain. blew a few cobwebs of. so who scored 2 of our goals??? oh that must of be me!!!! where was the keeper for the first one??? it was almost 2 easy for me to score!! and brompton first rule of defending is to close the man with the ball as he is the most dangerous one!! so why were u guys playin ofside when u just let me waltz right round u!!! it almost looked like i had some pace . anywya cheers for the game boys!! good luck for the season. u never know i may even sighn for u on the of chance im around!! well i have to be better than craig hey brompton!!! i might even buy my own drink in the pub as well!!! see ya laterz alligaterz 
19/8/2002 17:11 GMT  Franks
Opening game v Rutland a week on Sunday, followed by Devon FC, Trinity Reserves and Collingham Reserves in the Willie Hall. Not sure of whether the games are home or away as of yet. To Wilbur, we've been playing 3 periods ourself all pre-season, so we'd have no problem with doing the same on weds. We'll be playing in yellow shirts and navy shorts/socks. 
19/8/2002 12:51 GMT  Sunday side
FIXTURE LIST - is it out yet?, do we know when or where our first game is... Is it 1 week or 2 weeks away.... 
19/8/2002 10:20 GMT  Wilbur ( Newark Flowserve )
Looking forward to our friendly this Wednesday at Lowfields. At the moment i am still trying to get a referee but this should be sorted out on time. If possible we would like to play three half-hour periods instead of two 45's.This will allow us to use all our players without losing too much time for substitutions.See you all on the 21st....p.s. what colours will you be playing in ? 
14/8/2002 23:47 GMT  Venie
is Nicky manager a 'one night thing' or has he been appointed full time manager of Newark Town? 
14/8/2002 22:14 GMT  edz
predictions on the final score against the peterborians!!! ???? should be a good game, aint played for a while so am bit ring rusty so will go easy on u brompton. look foward to seein u on sunday 
14/8/2002 20:51 GMT  Franks
I've been looking at updating the profiles for a while, now I know who's signed on I'll do it at some point. As for the photos, if somebody can fix us up with a digital camera then we could do something about it. 
14/8/2002 13:04 GMT  Heres a new poll for yer
Who votes that Chris should update the profiles, and get everyones photo on there so we can all have a laugh.... You have got half the players missin, and half of em dont play here, Chris Taylor a wing back?? 
14/8/2002 12:20 GMT  Franks
Yep, ode Nugget takes charge of the First Team tonight! Expect such decisions as Brompton up-front; Franks dropped and Kelly handing out the oranges at half time! 
14/8/2002 08:04 GMT  Rooster
Have I heard right, Nugget is the new Newark Town Manager? 
13/8/2002 16:39 GMT  a shaddow©
lucky for you boys that bulwell have gone up ,maybe now you,ll finish second from the bottom ,heh hehh ,shaddow© 
12/8/2002 19:44 GMT  Town Yoof
Yeah they've been promoted, pending ground improvements as far as I know. 
12/8/2002 18:33 GMT  newark local
is it true that AC bulwell have gone up to division one ,heard it last friday anyone shed any light?..local supporter 
9/8/2002 06:44 GMT  Rooster
I have to respect the shaddow, disapointed that the mystery is over now so I might put some messages as the chicken and see if any of you can guess who it is! oh dear... Ive given the game away... anyway, is this Kev Naylor bit true? is Leach going to sign with him? anyway, I see you a chicken! 
9/8/2002 05:22 GMT  a shaddow©
mmm looks like you boys are finally puttin it 2 gether , of course im not a newark man, and your right all the info was there from your site ,profiles,news even the guestbook....wont say who i am ,what i will say is goodbye the fun is over and im off to play in the league above ...not for bilboro..remember the shaddow "may"return one day,its been a laff dont you think??l8trs...shaddow© 
8/8/2002 21:21 GMT  kev franks
message for kev naylor your more than welcome to join see chris and get details of him 
8/8/2002 18:14 GMT  edz
so wot is it??? 10 days till u boys take a beatin from the boro boys???? oh well we will go easy on u, .... dont worry just tryin to wind u guys up, lookin foward to meetin u all, p.s we have a clubhouse but there is no beer in there so we will direct u to our local where we always go after the game. unfortunatly there is no food put on (which as brompton would know really really disappoints me, but if there was then u guys wouldnt get any as i would of eat it all before it got to u!) but its still an alright pub. hope yr friendlys go well and ill see u all in 10 days!!! come on u reds!!! oh wot colour do u guys play in??? 
8/8/2002 15:39 GMT  Friendly News
Firstly, We can confirm that Sunday's Friendly with Farndon is definitely at Muskham. Secondly, First Team are playing Calverton (Away) this Wednesday (14/8/02). We're meeting at 5pm at Netto. 
8/8/2002 11:19 GMT  Friendly v Farndon 11th
Chris - Forget previous message,got misinformed,I understand we playing your place not Farndon and that you sorting out ref etc. We will be in White/Red shirts. Chips on ice till 25th. Dave. 
8/8/2002 10:51 GMT  To Snitch
Hmmm, that would make sense actually! If you remember those messages Shaddow posted all the info he included in them, which made it look like he knew us, cos quite easily have been found simply by looking through this site. The "talking in Caesars" comment - Alot of the profiles and many of the messages have Caesars references (and if he was really a Newarker, would he still be calling it Caesars, rather than its new name?). The "Bring back Dobbo" comment - once again, the info is in the profile section and who of us lot have ever called Brian Dobb 'Dobbo'? None of us! "See you down the Grove" - There was a news item that training would be beginning at the Grove, and it's down on the 'Pre-Season' section, not hard to find! It's all falling into place......  
7/8/2002 23:56 GMT  kev naylor
alright lads, would i be welcome down town, ive been looking for a sunday newark side for ages now, and seeing as some of me mates are down here i have got intrested 
7/8/2002 22:12 GMT  Nugget
not that i disagree with what 'nugget' said, it wasnt actually me!! 
7/8/2002 20:59 GMT  nugget
ok ,ok , time to say mt piece , this Shaddow when you think about it Has got us all talking Again in the guestbook,it was gettin a little Dull Dont you think ? oh Well i guess this is the end of it ..................© 
7/8/2002 17:23 GMT  a snitch
shaddow is a bilborough fc player...check it out and belive grassington 
6/8/2002 14:18 GMT  BAAAaaaaaaHHhhhhh
Baz must have just come off some of them porn sites, cos his finger is sticking to the keyboard.................................................. Oops, im guilty too. 
6/8/2002 06:51 GMT  Rooster
-£60-00! Come on, I'm at least worth -£20-00! ps, why all the question marks? 
5/8/2002 19:54 GMT  Huh?
What game Baz?! 
5/8/2002 19:07 GMT  Friendly News
First Team vs Retford Town, Away, Saturday 31st August, 3pm. 
5/8/2002 15:53 GMT  Sorted
You wanted it, so you've got it. The Shaddow's messages have been deleted. 
5/8/2002 10:22 GMT  Re Sunday 11th Friendly V Farndon
Chris ,couple things, firstly let me know your colours for Sunday, will try for Ref although got let down again yesterday so you any ideas if not I'll try sort it.Let us know if your lads likely to come back to Rose/Crown as if so will try to arrange some chips etc but would need to know before.Hey just delete the tw*ts messages, some sad and lonely physco! Dave - Farndon F.C. 
5/8/2002 09:17 GMT  Rumour Man
I here that Paul Gascoigne maybe joining the Town, the local paper wrote, he is interested in the move, but is not sure that having to pay to play would be in his best interests. However, town have reportedly said they may have to sell the Rooster for a fee of £-60.00, to bring him to town, they say he has laid one bad egg to many in there defence. 
5/8/2002 09:10 GMT  Some viewer
The easiest way to delete a shaddow's posts is to ignore them, just dont reply to his stupid lame comments. Then we can all watch his childish ways, in how he bitches ppl. Im sure hell enjoy only talking to himself 
5/8/2002 06:59 GMT  Rooster
I'm starting to get bored with this tosser! Is there any way we can just delete all his messages? 
4/8/2002 22:26 GMT  a shaddow
allrite lads i've just come out of the y.m.c.a with grahem norton and barrymore they've convinced me to give up my ways,so im now off to join them in they're gay villa, you'll soon know who i am when the police find me floating face down in barrymores pool 
4/8/2002 16:44 GMT  Kevin Presland (Secretary of Newark Flowserve)
I'd just like to inform you all that this is the first time I've ever posted something on the intheteam website, therefore 'a shadow' is not me. 
3/8/2002 23:32 GMT  on looker
the shadow is obviously a sad person, who seems to get some sort of pleasure out of doing this,he wont do anything cus he doesent have the balls to change anything,also whos gonna listen to a man(if it is a man,sounds dodgy to me i think hes gay) posing as a shaddow, its a joke and shud be sorted out 
2/8/2002 22:50 GMT  ac member
many thanx i, ll give it a try .. 
2/8/2002 17:25 GMT  Franks
This is getting annoying now, the guestbook won't let me put a Html code on here. So basically look at the Help menu, go to the Html section and look for the 'Adding images to page bit'. After the img SRC bit type the address of your picture and it will appear on your site. 
2/8/2002 17:18 GMT  Franks
Sorry, the Html code should be just without any spaces. If you check the Help section on the intheteam site (situated just above, next to 'Find Club') it tells you how to put images on your site this way a little better. 
2/8/2002 17:13 GMT  Franks
Alright Bulwell, I'm the admin man on this site. I'm not too sure how to convert pictures but one thing you can try is going to , upload your image onto there then put it wherever you want on your site by inputting the code . I'm not too internet literate myself so thats the best I can do! Hope it works. Good luck you this season too. 
2/8/2002 17:00 GMT  Franks
For a start, this is Chris Franks, not Kevin Franks. Secondly, none of us know who the f*ck "Dobbo" is. And thirdly, Kevin Franks is manager of the Sunday Team (he quit the Reserves 6 months ago, didn't you know?), a team that he founded, so I doubt your campaign to replace him with this "Dobbo" fella will succeed. 
2/8/2002 16:56 GMT  ac bulwell comittee member
firstly , ignore the muppet below hes been on our site claiming to know us as well , ive got a question for your web master (nice looking site this) im quite new to this computer lark and would like some help pleas on how to upload an image i have scanned , its a newspaper photo of the cup winning team , ok bare with me a minute im a bit of a technophobe , ok ive scanned this piccy what/how do i save this as a jpg , each time i try to upload this pic it tells me its too large or that the pic isnt a jpg (whatever) need some help if poss , p/s best of luck this year,any help?..AC bulwell  
2/8/2002 07:24 GMT  The Clone
If only the shaddow new who the clone was, shaddow i am always watching you, and i know what your doing right now, however i would get off them gay porn sites right now if i were you before your daddy walks in. 
2/8/2002 07:06 GMT  Rooster
I don't know who this sad gearer is but he gets up earlier than me in the morning! 6:28, he must be a milkman, is it Alan Williams? 
1/8/2002 20:01 GMT  Franks
So come on, who is it lads? You may have noticed I had one or two shandy's too many at the presentation, so I can't remember who was there! This 'dossier' should make interesting reading, should I be putting my hard hat on now?! Oh well, I'm used to criticsim! 
1/8/2002 19:30 GMT  Hmmm
If you've given us such obvious clues then you're clearly not a very relevent person otherwise we would have guessed who you are. You must be one of those gimps who stands in the background who nobody likes. Doesn't the word 'shaddow' have a gothic link? That would be about right. 
1/8/2002 11:02 GMT  a whisper
i am the fist in the fight, at the jist of it i aint bright, i am "a whisper".... 
1/8/2002 10:54 GMT  Pi*sing into the wind
Give up guessing boys. He ain't going to admit it even if we do guess who he is, otherwise he'd have used his real name in the first place. Let's just be thankful that theres finally abit of life on this guestbook, it's been dead on here for weeks! 
1/8/2002 10:54 GMT  a shaddow
im am the mist in the night, the whisper of a light, i am a,,,, Varuka, oh my god i have got a varuka. Im i minging. NOOooooooo!! Im MINGIN! 
1/8/2002 08:47 GMT  kev franks
it,s no good asking me who the shaddow is i thought i was talking to myself i couldn,t see anybody 
31/7/2002 20:16 GMT  A light
This 'shaddow' retard has some serious issues. The I.C.U fascination is off a film. I should think Kevin Presland has better things to do with his time. I think 'shaddow' is only allowed out at weekend's due to over-riding make belief situations occuring in his head at an increasing rate, so he spends his time with you lucky lot. Pleasure. 
31/7/2002 15:51 GMT  Tommy D
i take offense to the comment by "miss marple". i am no way sad enough to be the shaddow. i do get bored but not THAT bored.  
31/7/2002 15:13 GMT  Inspector Gadget
To be fair Dowd is a Newark town player rather than someone who just "drinks with us". Maybe its Donald? 
31/7/2002 07:01 GMT  Miss Marple
I think I know who it is too. That young feind who drinks Reef. It was Tommy Dowd in the Bathroom with the candlestick! 
30/7/2002 19:33 GMT  Inspector Morse
So who is this a saddo bloke? Let's look at the evidence: He has nothing better to do than cast his unwanted assertions on us; he thinks he's seen us train/play friendlies (even though we've only had 1 training session and no friendlies!); He's been known to post on the guestbooks on Bilborough and Bulwell and shown a great deal of knowledge on them; he thinks he's drank with us (Who is 'us'? It's not as if the whole Town team drink together!); he bears a grudge against Town. I have an inkling as to who this disturbed, vindictive person could be. I look forward to your next post, 'a shaddow'! 
30/7/2002 16:33 GMT  Franks
Cheers for that Alan! And the jobs going good! P.S. I'll be keep the poll open until the end of the week. P.P.S Why are people getting so upset about the opinions of somebody who can't even spell a simple word properly? It's 'Shadow', not 'Shaddow' mate! 
30/7/2002 13:02 GMT  Ali-Gonnakickyourassnextseason-B
Gonna be sorting out a new web site for you franks, ready for next season. As soon as i have sorted other stuff at home. It will be much better than this one, from InTheTeam. THe only difference being the way you upload stuff. I will sort all that out when the time comes. Cya Sunday, and PS hows the job? 
30/7/2002 06:51 GMT  Rooster
Is he from Mortal Combat?  
30/7/2002 02:21 GMT  Venie
Think about it A.Mush...the shadow says he watches the team on a Saturday...hmm let me think what I doin on a Saturday afternoon..oh yeah I play football at the same time as you lot for a different team...& why would I have a problem with Nugget...he's a team mate, not only that he does a great favour in picking me up every Sunday morning...the Shadow is not me...VENIE. 
29/7/2002 19:35 GMT  Poll explanation
Basically we get very little feedback from those in charge of the Saturday Teams. Important information regarding the teams doesn't become known to me until training sessions or until I find out from somebody else. This site could be a good way to communicate news regarding the club but those at the top don't want to take the opportunity. If you look at the sites of teams like Bilborough, Farndon, Flowserve, etc, they all have connections with those in charge of the club, whereas this site never recieves any info Re. Fixtures, league information or club development until it appears on another website or in the newspaper. Less time spent on match reports and updating info on the Saturday teams would leave more time to improve the coverage on the Sunday Team. You decide! 
28/7/2002 18:16 GMT  A. Mush
Shut up venie, we know its you! 
28/7/2002 13:52 GMT  ???
Come on then who is the shaddow, and whats his problem with nugget? 
27/7/2002 11:33 GMT  Nugget
u total dick head, get a life 
27/7/2002 10:09 GMT  Spotted....
Brompton asleep in his boxers on his front lawn at 1 Am 
24/7/2002 17:01 GMT  Go here! This is gonna be huge! 
20/7/2002 13:57 GMT  Rooster
Alright lads im taking a break from the hardcore stella drinking at Englands premier volkswagon related festival to say BUGJAM is great!!!  
18/7/2002 19:18 GMT  Yorke Drive Massive
We're totally addicted to Mace. 
18/7/2002 09:58 GMT  The Dangerman
I am gonna eat you Edz 
18/7/2002 07:56 GMT  OMG !
Bluddy hell Town are aiming high this season arnt we. Premiership sides, and First division sides... !!!! 
17/7/2002 10:58 GMT  Franks
Yep, we can confirm the match. Sunday 18th August, 11am kick off, Peterborough. See ya there! 
16/7/2002 22:21 GMT  edz
so ive told my manager that we (netherton united) are playin u guys on the 18th of aug in peterborough. could somone confirm this?? ie a manager of somesorts. nicky b was quite keen to play us so lets get it on. if not then could u also let us know as we have a list a mile high of people wanting friendlies. cheers. 
16/7/2002 07:20 GMT  Ali-B
Sorry i wasnt there Sunday, im still struggling with some internal bruising to my rib from the last game - Swine elbowed me, and it bluddy hurts to run. Should be there this Sunday all being well. 
15/7/2002 18:25 GMT  Spotted
Franks, working? Could thsi be true 
14/7/2002 21:48 GMT  Friendly
Thanks getting back to me - 25th August fine with us. Quiet welcome to come to Farndon, as stated no changing rooms but no problem really, also can put some sandwiches,chips cobs on down Rose& Crown after is yer like.Book the Sunday and talk later as to where OK - Thanks Dave 
14/7/2002 16:34 GMT  Friendly?
Interested in a Friendly match one Sunday in Augsust 11th/18th/25th. Let me know if so - have ground but can only change in car park. Thanks Dave Bennett - Sec Farndon F.C. 
12/7/2002 14:26 GMT  Rooster
Better now mate thanks! bit of bruising to the bone, but I'm ok to train on Sunday I am as half as hard as Ben afterall! PS Since when had Tommy been laid off? 
10/7/2002 19:06 GMT  Franks
Alreet Rooster, how's your ankle mate? 
10/7/2002 08:18 GMT  Rooster
Its mine too! 
9/7/2002 12:05 GMT  Mr Smooth
My favourite chat of the week is.... "I wish you were a door so I could bang you all day long"  
8/7/2002 12:22 GMT  Franks - To 'Hey'
The game yesterday was just a one off. I think it was arranged by my dad and Danny Purves on a friday night when alot of alcohol and been consumed! It was a good warm up though. We've only stopped playing for 6 weeks so there's no need for any drastic fitness regimes or wot like that! Training does start this Sunday at 11am down at Muskham. And to 'concerned' - I lost my footing, simple as that. Could have happened to anybody! 
8/7/2002 10:37 GMT  You what?
What better training is there than actually playing football. You can dribble a ball round cones as much as you want but there's no substitute for playing football. We're not a Premiership side, I don't think you'll see too many Newark Alliance sides running 5 miles in training to get fit for the new season! 
8/7/2002 00:01 GMT  Hey
Its the 1st Sunday in July and come on training for few weeks to get fit rather than 20 add players turning up is what we want, not soddin games!! How many other teama are stupid enough to have match 7th July against lets face it woppositon that we cannot get much lower!! Guys at the top get real and sort it now! 
7/7/2002 17:47 GMT  Concerned
just a quick message to make sure everyone knows about Franks hideous mistake that gifted town there first goal, as for some reason it wasnt included in the report 
7/7/2002 12:53 GMT  Rumour Man
Preliminary plans are under way to reunite the Muskham United double winning side for a one off friendly with Town, perhaps as a benfit game or something for Deano. Would be great if that came off! 
4/7/2002 00:12 GMT  edz
friendly against the might of netherton united, venue, werrington,peteborough.18th august look foward to it 
1/7/2002 16:22 GMT  Franks
Well coincidentally I've just posted when the Sunday Team's training restarts, like it says everybody is welcome to come down. This Sunday, 10:30 at Muskham or if we have a game 10:00 at Muskham. As for friendlies, I can't post anything because I basically don't know when the friendlies are, if we have any arranged at all! We don't really get much feedback from the main men at the club on this website, which is a shame. 
1/7/2002 12:49 GMT  Who am I, i dont know, who cares
Franks old boy, dont you think it would be a good idea to post when friendlies and training is mate. Come on dont go rushing and do a Seaman 
30/6/2002 16:02 GMT  Graham Poll
Another ten votes for Nugget on account of his actions last nights. By the way who was up (and on the internet) at 4:42 in the morning? 
29/6/2002 04:42 GMT  The Poll
Just shows's you if yer wanna be a winner in your life then following the footsteps of that superstar called Tricky Nicky! Trophy cabinet bulging,carrying the team every Saturday , no wonder he turn to drink! Thik anyone would after watching us play each Saturday! But you can still be a winner no matter how much you knocn back! (and pull te birds as well Franksie!!) 
26/6/2002 17:33 GMT  PHILIP HANDLEY
we are looking for a friendly with your first team on the 28th of july 02 I used to manage pinxton north end a few seasons ago . my new team is Blackwell fc res please get in touch or phone : 01773-784162 
25/6/2002 15:40 GMT  Is it true.......
... that, in light of his back-to-back Player Player of the Year success, Nicky 'Nugget' Brompton has been signed up by Adidas to appear in the new batch of'Footballitis' adverts. Instead of 'crazy arms' or 'crazy legs' Nugget will be suffering from 'crazy right elbow' syndrome which leaves him constantly lifting an invisble pint of lager to his mouth over and over again! Only ribbing ya Nuggy baby! 
24/6/2002 14:54 GMT  LOL
No suprises in the poll so far then! 
24/6/2002 13:48 GMT  Mr Exciting
Some nice flowers outside! 
22/6/2002 18:27 GMT  AC BULWELL PLAYER
20/6/2002 09:37 GMT  WILBUR
FRIENDLY v NEWARK FLOWSERVE at Lowfields...Wed.Aug.21st..K.O. approx. 6.30pm.....Is this ok ?  
19/6/2002 20:43 GMT  Venie
I expect to see all the ex-Muskham lot down the Postie Friday morning for a good ole' sing song it opens 7am just incase nobody knew.COME ON ENGLAND!!!!!! 
19/6/2002 20:15 GMT  Nugget
alwight ;ads, aint been on here for a while, glad to see its ticking over nicely though!! Cracjing night presentation night, well what bits i can remember and what ive been told, and to edz, i didnt even know i'd rang you till i looked at my balance next day and it said 87p!! i didnt know u were sick inside the taxi franks, you wanna be careful of that, a hefty fine is usually the result!! Anyway, hope we're all up for Malia now its finally all paid off, anyone sad enough to count down the days? 
19/6/2002 07:35 GMT  Ali-B
No dat was probably chicken wings, i voted for Newark Town da win de world cup. Ey Fanks, da people of Town, are naaz gonna refer to yerz as Shandy, and not Fanks. 
18/6/2002 19:35 GMT  Franks
You get worse Alan! It wasn't you who voted for Ireland to win the World Cup on our poll AFTER they got knocked out was it?! 
18/6/2002 15:42 GMT  Ali-B
Ok i bin earin dat da main man Kiss Fanks, cant take is spunk. Is dis true? I bin told he only ad 2 shakes, and da few spiff in a bottle. And he got totally vvankless. Is dis true too?... Next time de give im shandy ey! 
18/6/2002 15:13 GMT  WILBUR
Can we arrange a pre-season friendly a.s.a.p.Maybe a Wednesday night in August at our ground, (NEWARK FLOWSERVE ) me through our website please ! 
16/6/2002 13:31 GMT  Congratulations
Hey Nicky well dome mate the throphies just keep rolling in don't they - Hope you got a trophy cabinet arranged - From your mates n the other team. 
16/6/2002 13:07 GMT  Franks
That comment below is true. Calum just went wild about some p*ss-take Sean did a couple of years ago (some website or something) and it all went off in Caesars and, obviously, outside it aswell. I've never seen anything like it, it was like Cal was possesed. He smacked Brez too. Crazy night all round! 
16/6/2002 12:34 GMT  ???
Is that comment below true?? or is someone having a laugh? 
16/6/2002 11:34 GMT  Spotted last night....
....Calum Fraser and his brother attacking Newark Town team mate Sean Gallacher on the way home from Caesars. This town gets worse and worse. 
15/6/2002 23:14 GMT  edz
hello again. i was disturbed in my sleep on friday by a drunken nick brompton, (he must of had his 2 bottles of reef) and i was mightly disturbed by the fact he told me he won an award. i promptly asked if it was the most improved player award (as we all know this awar normally goes to the crapiest but most loyal person) but he told me he had retained his title of players player.!!! come on on guys how much did he pay u?? oh franks? quater of bottle? u could of at least lied and said half! unless it was like quater of a 2 litre bottle of vodka thn ill give u credit! anyway lets get this friendly organised. middle of august boys??? 
15/6/2002 16:53 GMT  Franks
I know Tommy, I'm a bloody disgrace. I'd drank a quater of a litre of vodka within an hour before I came out for a warm up - not one of my better ideas. By the way, I've deleted quite a few of the older, more irrelevent messages on here in order to speed the site up a little bit. Cheers boys! 
15/6/2002 16:48 GMT  Tommy D
Franks, you were sick inside the bloody taxi aswell you drunken fool!! All down the inside of the poor blokes door. Not bad considering you only had about 2 pints and 6/7 bottles!!  
15/6/2002 10:16 GMT  Franks
Argh! I can't remember any of last night! I've only just realised I won an award (the 'Totally deserved and not just given because I was the only one who turned up regularly' award)! Anyway, sorry to the Showground for being sick on their table, sorry to the taxi driver for being sick out of his window and sorry to everybody for me being a dirty p*sshead!! Kids, don't drink! 
13/6/2002 22:15 GMT  Sean Gallacher
Cheers Dan, my Swedish friend, the veteran can always rely on his Swedish fan club at the zenith of my career. Heres a joke; an Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman - all war veterans were being asked what got them through the war. The English man claimed that without Comradeship it would have been Curtains for him without a doubt. The Scotsman naturally claimed that without the soothing power of whisky it would have been curtains for him also. The Irishman when asked however, replied, Without a doubt Venetian Blinds got me through the War. What the F##k are you talking about came the unanamous reply, Venetian Blinds got you through the war, how? Well, said the Irishman, without Venetian Blinds it would have been curtains for everybody. get it? 
13/6/2002 11:51 GMT  Mr D
I want to see Sean Gallacher in the first team! It doesn't matter that he has gained at least 15 pounds and has a bad liver after drinking to many beers and chasing far to many pommiebirds in Aussieland. Go Sean and let the magic be with you!! 
12/6/2002 22:32 GMT  edz
did u f**k!!! u were asleep and passed out u idiot.... me 10 pounds the richer. hahaha!!! 
12/6/2002 20:47 GMT  Franks
Four pints?! Bloody hell Nugget you must have had alot to eat that day, you're usually wasted by 2 pints! Only joking matey! See you at the Presentation on Friday night. Can't wait to see who the awards go to, everybody's played so well for the Senior teams this season!! 
12/6/2002 17:34 GMT  Nugget
Well then my long haired friend, i take it you are referring to the england vs argentina occassion, where you were all exagerating and i wasnt even drunk and u know it, and by the way i won the "whoever stays out the latest is the better drinker competition" as you rang me bout 1am and i didnt even notice till gone 2, so when i rang you back you were fast asleep, come on everybody, ahhhh bless!! 
11/6/2002 14:25 GMT  edz
good call on the whys?!!!! especially belgium they have like nothing to offer anyone, they may as well form a merger with luxemborg as they have an =ally good team. so u boys still up for a friendly with us boys in a sunday leauge from peterborough? oh another one?? why does brompton get so drunk after 4 pints of beer??? 
10/6/2002 18:30 GMT  Why are...
Poland worse than all of them put together? 
10/6/2002 10:46 GMT  Why are...
Belgium in the world cup every four years when they are so crap 
9/6/2002 16:44 GMT  Why are....
Japan so crap 
8/6/2002 12:03 GMT  Why are...
China so crap 
4/6/2002 10:37 GMT  Spotted....
In Time and Diva - Sean, Franks and Breslin Dancing Stupidly 
30/5/2002 21:47 GMT  Sean
Awight lads, just thought id leave a message to prove that I havent returned to England a Hippy liberal; A paki walks into a pub and says.."excuse me Landlord, can you recommend a good port?". "yeah" says the landlord, "DOVER, now fuk off!".... How pathetic is the person that keeps trying to besmirch the good name of Newark town players without leaving their name, despicable. 
24/5/2002 11:05 GMT  Franks
Well as far as I know plans are still ongoing in regards to creating our own facilities somewhere in Newark. These things do take time. The reconstruction at Devon Park (pitch, changing rooms, etc) are something that'll benefit not only Town but also the likes of Hawtonville, Devon FC and all opposition who play at Devon Park and have to endure such poor facilities. You're right about needing our own ground, but at least this is a good start. 
23/5/2002 22:44 GMT  well as a newark resident
Well sorry its a bit to the point but lets face it I have watched this site over last few months and with great espectation though that something was coming to shut flowserve etc up! Jesus what an embarrasment this is when will they ever realize that too succeed they meed somewhere completly independedant - whos running this show muppetts!!! 
23/5/2002 16:26 GMT  Town
Ha ha ha, not particularly funny, but true none-the-less! Thanks to Groundsman. We've not had a good season but we're still glad to have avoided the drop. Congratulations on winning the league, Bilborough. 
23/5/2002 16:11 GMT  Riverside Road Resident
On behalf of everyone in our area we would like to express our sincere thanks for the news that both pitches on the Devon Park Site are going to be completely relayed for the start of the new football season in August/September. Over the last few years I'm agraid Snowy(thats my dog) has unfortunately got tired of where to dump his load and the thought of new grass excites him and many other dog loving people so much that the news is a great bonus to us. As for our son Neil he will now be able to ride his Kawasaki over new falt smooth grass instead of pot holes, do you know he got a puncture from you people leaving a goalnet hook behind! Anyway great news for us all, and even little Rodger might be excited to learn that they may be doing up the changing romms, yippee hes so fed up of the ease of breaking in the current changing rooms , so easy for him the new ones will be a challange! Once again thanks from Snowy,Neil & Rodger , Good Luck to you all.  
22/5/2002 09:03 GMT  Groundsman (Bilborough fc)
On behalf of our committee and players my I congratulate your 1st team on staving off the dreeded drop and hope we see your 2nds next season for some more thrilling encounters, have a good summer (if we get one) and good look for next season 
19/5/2002 09:23 GMT  JP
i am netehrton united's best defender..i aint being big headed jus telling it like it is and im tellin u the nugget will not score past me, neither will chicken boy or whatever he calls himself...bring it on, get ready 4 the smack down you suckers!!! BOO YA!! 
16/5/2002 01:56 GMT  KevSwann
Whoooooo??? I hear you all say!!! Well Edz has been telling me for weeks to come on here and dish out some stick so after a long night out on the tiles of Edinburgh here I am! I see there's a pre-season game between the mighty reds a yourselves. Should be interesting, we're a good side and will probably have to get someone in to keep score. Especially if I drag my ass down to the boro and unleash my phenominal goalscoring prowess on your poor unfortunate defenders. I also like WWF by the way - the way some animals are treated on this planet is shocking and I think we should all do our bit. See you in august chaps... 
14/5/2002 12:01 GMT  edz
ill lay the smack down on u dude!!! oh and het it right i dont have the physique to do a drop kick, but i do a mean belly splash! oh by the way the main fans are our reserve team muppets, bless them they love there wwf. but dont think there will be many of them playin unfortunatly. u will be contendin with the might of NETHERTON UNITED!!!! 1,2,3!!! P.Sdont vote for brompton 4 player of the yr? he is a sad sad dude 
13/5/2002 18:58 GMT  Don't look now.....
....but after reading their message board it seems Netherton are full of bloody WWF fans! Nugget, you didn't tell us Netherton were an under-12 side! Watch out for the winger, he does a mean drop kick! 
9/5/2002 12:12 GMT  Nugget
Agree with what ya saying me ode china, good perforamnce waanit. Completely different to saturday. Will be interesting to see what happens when the reserves play Melton mowbray on saturday? 
8/5/2002 21:05 GMT  Franks
Typical Town! We get absolutely molested on Saturday by a team 2 places above us whom we've already beaten this season then a few days later we get a brilliant 0-0 draw against champions-elect Radcliffe who have not been beaten all season, are 8 points clear of 2nd with a game in hand and have a goal difference of +67! That was with a team with 5 under-16's playing! If only we could keep a settled team! Though it's clear that if we can keep hold of all the under-16's and they all come up to the Reserves next season, as has been suggested, then we do have a bright future ahead of us.  
4/5/2002 23:53 GMT  edz
so am i rooster, love tryin to get on the wrong side of people. gives me cheap thrills! sure brompton has told u that though. i was going to come down and see u in meedweek action but i was scared of the skies!!! 
2/5/2002 12:07 GMT  Rooster
Come on Netherton, I'm only having a laugh, looking forward to the game, should be a good test for the lads, just what we need! 
2/5/2002 12:00 GMT  EDZ
2-1? wot sort of score line is that??? just so u know last seasonwe averaged 4-5 goals and conceeded like just over 1! we will see nugget we will see!!! 
2/5/2002 08:59 GMT  Nugget
Its gonna take more than early pre season training to beat us!! After last nites performance we'll be ready for anything!! Come on Netherton!! Wicked through ball for the first goal last night by the way!! 
1/5/2002 11:11 GMT  edz
were already in pre season training!!!!! keeping fit for our game in mid august. we will prevail. the pride of peterborough will win!!!! 
30/4/2002 14:18 GMT  Franks
Alright Alan. Next game is a friendly vs Devon FC next sunday (12/5). And to Sean, of course we miss you really, but the threat still stands! 
30/4/2002 08:28 GMT  Ali-B
Hey boys hows it going. Franks, when is the next Sunday game, cos im off to a Christening this Sunday 5/5/02. Not that you would miss me anyway. 
30/4/2002 02:28 GMT  Admit it you miss me really....
I would naturally come back bearded but I am still only able to grow my hair in certain places, my goatee has aquired a manly sustanence however and it has become quite attached to me. As for the storys... Did I tell you about the time i met Lou Carpenter? 
24/4/2002 12:36 GMT  edz
rooster the reason im writin is to get some banter going, ie have a laugh but it seems like u aint up for it iand i sense a bit of hostility so ill write this for every1 exept rooseter................ so rest of u, wot do u recon the score will be when us two meet??? date yet to be aranged but me and nugget seem to think mid aug is best around say aug 19th or something, wot would your team be? who would be playin? im readin that nugget will win an a award?? that cant be surely!!!!! 
23/4/2002 13:13 GMT  Franks
I was gonna say chav! Rooster's turned into such an angry bloke! Think he must have suffered a very bad experience at the hands of Netherton during his previously life as Brian Rice! (Only kidding Rooster!) 
23/4/2002 09:10 GMT  Nugget
come on roost, its only a laugh!! we're playing em in a pre-season friendly now as well. Goos sean article franks.  
22/4/2002 12:25 GMT  Rooster
No thanks Nugget, I'm not bringing myself to their level 
22/4/2002 11:06 GMT  Nugget
Alwight lads and ladys!! check out and give em all some stick!! 
19/4/2002 06:14 GMT  The REAL Venie
Good to see yet another Venie wannabe on the Newark Town website. Also Good to see the reserves picking themselves up,it's never good to see any newark side bottom. Also a decent season for the Sunday side i think mid table is something you would have took at the beginning of the season lets just hope you've grown together and can challenge for 2nd Division status next year. Did Michael Williams hit Marcer last Saturday or what? The friday was f*cking hilarious i thought Willams was gonna eat Callum Fraser. Until Saturday Night in the Palace of Dreams...good luck for Saturday. 
18/4/2002 18:34 GMT  Franks
Seamus who? There was a young lad called Seamus round here once - Scottish lad - but he disappeared towards the East. Norwich I believe it was. As for Taz I don't know how he is, apparently, according to Baggy, he's still very ill and he's got a long way to go before he reaches recovery. By the way, still haven't got over your goal on Sunday Rooster, you've been hiding that sweet left foot from us all this time you old dog! 
18/4/2002 11:54 GMT  Rooster
What the f*cks that about Venie? I get the feeling that wasn't you! Any news on Taz? What about Seamus? 
17/4/2002 14:15 GMT  Venie
Alright lads, time for your latest update from the best player in Newark! Have been offered a contract back with Lincoln City, but they can only pay me in tea bags so we failed to meet personal terms seeing that I drink Coffee!! 
16/4/2002 08:36 GMT  Nugget
Netherton who? We know we are all potential world beaters!! but due to much bad luck this season this potential has remained unfulfilled. We'll all be game for taking on some of this netherton rubbish and giving them a good beatin like we did Kimberley on sat!! Come on Town!!!! 
15/4/2002 11:49 GMT  Rooster
I don't know who eddie sedz is, but I hate him, not for any particular reason but p*ss off! 
11/4/2002 18:49 GMT  eddie sedz
blame it on the man you call the nugget!!!! aka niky brompton. he has been sayin to me that you lot are world beeters aprt from t fact the sunday mornin side is a bit poo. netherton is a sunday mornin side but i tell u wot, we take some beatin!!!! and ive read that brompton is a star player!!!!! now that does make me laugh, he may be a whippet but that dont mean linford can play footy now does it. anyway have a good end to the season boys... 
11/4/2002 10:27 GMT  Rooster
Cheeky b*stards!! Theres hell to pay next time I'm allowed out, next year sometime 
10/4/2002 14:18 GMT  Town
Netherton whooooooooo?! Dunno who this 'dude' in Lincoln is but he's been giving you false information. We're cr*p! Though a friendly would probably be interesting. 
10/4/2002 13:59 GMT  eddie sedz
ive heard a lot of talk from some dude in lincoln about how good u all are. come take on the lads in peterborough aka netherton united in a pre season friendly... dont care which team sat sat res sunday team i aint bothered!!!!!!! check out to see wot u would be up against!!!! RED ARMY 
5/4/2002 09:22 GMT  Pevler
And i mean that!! 
4/4/2002 19:02 GMT  Pevler
And he's not allowed out ever again, ok?! 
4/4/2002 16:03 GMT  Pevler
He's staying here with me!! 
3/4/2002 17:05 GMT  A.mush
Whats happened to old rooster of late? 
29/3/2002 12:40 GMT  Sean
Franks you eejit! How is everyone? Just thought I'd leave another message, seeing that people keep on using my name because I didn't write that last message. Went to see where they filmed Crocodile Dundee yesterday, I think Big Ben was fighting there but I'm not too sure! Why does Nugget keep imitating me on this website anyway? Even I don't know what tentahooks are, I guess that they must be for Fishing! PS Venie owes me a drink 
26/3/2002 12:07 GMT  Viewer
I agree with AL, and to reduce the messages in the guestbook you should implement a Farndon Utd 'If they don't say what a great young team we are, delete them' system. ......... Guestbook Administrator:"Boss, there's a message here that doesn't say the sun shines out of our arses. What do I do??" ........ Site Owner:"Delete it! We'll have no criticism here, this is a local guestbook!". 
25/3/2002 11:46 GMT  AL
Dont you think we should delete a few old messages in this guestbook. It takes 10 seconds to load even on my ISDN connection. 
Two wins on the trot whatever next, a 1st team win ? Or is that asking too much ? 
21/3/2002 01:00 GMT  Sean
Actually I didnt write that, there is clearly some sort of evil imposter sean who uses the word pants, graham is investigating. I intend to make the pilgrimage to the neighbours set in a couple of weeks. By the way Veni the latest plot in Home and Away is that Alf Stewart has been arrested for drink driving and may or may not lose his licence, im on tenterhooks.  
20/3/2002 13:56 GMT  Venie
Sean great comments,i'd love to meet Alf Stewart and Harold Bishop, I guess i'll have to buy you a drink so we can talk about Donald Fishers haircut and Madges Bishops Voice, oh shame on me i watch too much day time TV 
20/3/2002 10:46 GMT  Sean
Alright lads! Is everything OK? Mind you, I don't really care, is Newark Town still doing pants? Just a quick note to say that Franks you fat b*stard get a job and Venie you owe me a drink! I met Alf Stewart from Home & Away the other day and have met other celebraties such as Harold Bishop and Anders Limpar who has apparently been loaned out to Wollagong United!! Anyway whats the weather like in England? My sun tan is lookng superb! 
20/3/2002 10:02 GMT  WILBUR
Tommy,let's hope that you can claim a hat-trick this week against Melton Mowbry.Anyway, it does'nt matter who scores just as long as we score more than the other side !............P.S...i was told that if i tried to claim the first goal you would bite straight back....and you did.  
18/3/2002 20:04 GMT  Tommy D
Yeah i claimed the first goal, that is because it touched me last. That is how you get goals credited to you isn't it? 
16/3/2002 11:09 GMT  Franks
Damn you and you're hired henchman Gallacher. Graham came round all our houses last night and it was carnage. Dodgy ties and walking gear everywhere! He took your money back but I fear you'll never see it. Graham was last spotted in the Crown & Cushion trying to purchase a Brandy & Coke/Bitter shandy chaser! Next time send your mother. 
12/3/2002 06:48 GMT  Sean
Yeah but then I brought you a fosters ice afterwards you tight C*nt, i wrote it down in my log book afterwards, if you send a cheque to the vic nightclub in Darwin for 3 dollars they can put it behind the bar for me, cheers. Also rooster owes me five pounds as a result of county being absolutely pancrack and being below chesterfield, Franks you still owe me about 1 pound, im sending Graham to collect any outstanding debts on friday. 
11/3/2002 12:33 GMT  Franks
Bloody hell, don't tell me somebody from Town has actually got off their ar*e and signed some new players on! And yes I will see you on Saturday, seeing as I've been severely dumped from the First Team! 
11/3/2002 12:17 GMT  here come the old guard
Newark Town Res. have turned to several seasoned players to ensure their future this season; amongst them are "Blondie","Wilbur"and "Festa" from 'Flowserve.Whilst none of these lads will see their 36th birthday again they can be relied on to turn up and give 100%........Other names include Martin Crampton and Ryan Horton also fron Flowserve.............see you on Saturday! 
10/3/2002 22:38 GMT  Nugget
Yes sean still doing poo, only now its turning a very dodgy green colour, like a dump after a nite at the kasbar!! 11 so far going to greece, gonna be a good en! hopw ur not getting in2 any mischief out there? 
10/3/2002 21:12 GMT  Venie to Sean
No i don't you lying w*nker...i bought you on just before you went...VK blue remember??? 
10/3/2002 06:49 GMT  Sean
Venie you still owe me a drink. by the way I was just wondering how many people are actually going on the Greece holiday now? Are Newark town still doing poo? 
7/3/2002 19:29 GMT  Venie
I thought i said i was the greatest footballer in the world!!!...more evidence that it was bullsh*t...about this claire person. 
6/3/2002 11:28 GMT  Franks
Bloody hell, quite harsh on young Claire there Mr.Venables, whoever you are. The Reserves have already appointed a new gaffer (Jason something from Holy Trinity) but your application will be kept on file for future reference because, if things keep going as they are, there could be an opening for First Team manager! Anyway, haven't heard from Deano for a while but last I heard he's gone into hospital for his last course of treatment and he was saying that, so long as there's no complications, he'llm start physio in April so he can start playing again next season. Lets hope everything goes well for him. 
6/3/2002 06:28 GMT  Mr.Venables
Thanks for your C.V have heard on grapevive you are letting people know of your talent i.e. sit on me knee young lady do you know I'm the greatest footballer in Newark! says a slighty p*ssed Mr.Venables to a young ugly 13stone virgin whilst out one night. Sometimes the past catches up with you. 
5/3/2002 23:08 GMT  Venie
whats the crack with your reserves, i heard that Kev has quit...which means there a vacant CV is...i've had many years experience on Championship Manager and Jenna Jameson videos. If i get hired i'll hire Dave Lord as my assistant for his pitch rolling qualities, Sean Gallacher as a coach for his knowledge of the game from the 50's, 60's and 70's. Mark Blanty as a coach for his alcoholic drinking skills and Dean Gilbey as a coach he'll come in handy for when we go one tour and eat at fancy restaurants, he can show us the proper way to eat beans on toast. I hope to hear from you soon Steven Venables... while i'm here how is Deano doing? 
4/3/2002 15:56 GMT  Franks
Doing poo? Settle down Nugget, we ain't doing that well! 
4/3/2002 10:42 GMT  Nugget
Sean, trust me you really dont want to see the match reports!! All you need to know is we're doing absolutely poo!!!! 
4/3/2002 01:35 GMT  Sean
Awight Lads. As im grounded, due to an unfortunate incident involving not eating my greens I rely on the reports to follow Newark Town. Anyway regarding bangkok I refuse to reveal Any of my indiscretions until I am home and have made more up.  
14/2/2002 21:40 GMT  Franks
Yep, my mistake. I was thinking of players leaving in general and put Simmo's down by mistake. The players you've listed are just the tip of the iceberg, we've lost loads of quality players in recent years and most people will point to one reason (which I won't go into now). Add that list of players (plus the likes of Junior Jackson, who has also played for Town), who'd assumedly never come back to the club, to the players who are at IDP at the minute and theres not many potentital new signings around Newark who would be committed to play every Saturday and would improve the side. Hence, the reason we may have to rely on youth. P.S. you forgot Mark Ewan Town Mush. And you're right there's definitely a good nucleus for the side to work on. 
14/2/2002 19:33 GMT  Neutral
I believe Paul and Gareth Dobb play for Collingham on a Saturday's. What about David Bailey, Jammy Brown, Rob Thatcher, Chuck Anderson, Darren Baldwin, Julian Morrell, Brett Hovey, Gavin Turklington, Adrian Hillier, Joe Thorpe. I haven't seen any of them playing at Simmo's? Surely these players are still in their prime? 
14/2/2002 14:25 GMT  Town Mush
Some good points Franksie. The best thing for Town to do is to just keep going and it'll come. We have some superb players like Trigger, Nugget, John Lee Anderson, Sean Moran, Aiden Sidebottom and Danny Purves who would probably get in most sides. I reckon if we can keep hold of them then bring the youngsters in round them next season you will see Town go on the up. COME ON TOWN! 
14/2/2002 12:54 GMT  Franks
You watched Town alot last season? I've never seen anybody not connected to the club down watching our games, either this season or last. You must have been hiding in the bushes. Simmo's signed our midfield playmaker, Matt Dobb, and out top scorer, Ben Roche, at the end of last season who, be fair now, any side would miss. We did get Joe Stevens from them, but he plays mostly in the Reserves. However I wasn't talking just about this season. We've been struggling for several seasons now and thats due to the loss of the likes of Matt, Paul & Gareth Dobb, Robbie Kingsman, Ben Roache, Dumby (I could go on) going to Simmo's in recent years. We're in a vicious circle at the minute: we need new players to move up the table, but no new (top class, the likes who play for New Inn, NSK, etc) players will come whilst we're struggling. Hence, we've probably got to wait for the youngsters to come though. 
13/2/2002 23:40 GMT  Neutral
Same old excuses. If its not the beer it's a stream of players have gone to Simmo's. I watched both Newark Town & Simmo's alot on Saturdays last season. Correct me if I'm wrong the only, the only change this season. You've got one of there players and they've got one of yours?  
13/2/2002 20:01 GMT  Franks
You're right, we should be representatives for the Town at the highest level. There are reasons why the Saturday side inparticular such as losing a stream of players to Simmo's every season, which I'm sure you're aware of. We are very much in the doldrums at the moment but we expect a boost in the near future. We have some excellent youth teams at the moment who, if we can actually keep hold of them, will be major assets to the club when they progress to senior football. The last team to move up from the youth to senior level was the one I played for 2 years ago, but we were never an outstanding side, certainly not good enough to drag the First Team up the table. However the Under-16's are in the top half of the top division of the Notts Imperial League so if, as expected, they move up to the Reserve team next season they could hopefully help breath new life into the club. We'll see.  
13/2/2002 18:54 GMT  Mr Franks
Some truth in what you say to be fair. I think Newark Town should really be something Newark could be proud of, a team which represents the Area at the highest level. Lets face it we couldn't go any lower could we. I think the club could actually almost get done under the trade description act!  
13/2/2002 13:47 GMT  Franks
Well, it could be worse. I could be an older bloke who has nothing better to do than come on here and have a pop whenever we lose. I didn't see you posting here between early December and 9th of Feb when we only failed to win 1 game. Face it, people love to see us lose simply because we're Newark Town. Had we joined the league under the name of The Crown & Cushion(!) nobody would give a toss about where we are in the league or whether we win or lose. 
12/2/2002 22:17 GMT  Dear Mr Franks
Week after week , excuse after excuse - do you really think that Town are the only lads out getting p*ssed the night before? Another youngster who hasn't got a damn clue! 
12/2/2002 14:39 GMT  To "Neutral"
I was watching that "game" that you are presumably talking about? Chesters v Newark Town? Chesters were 4-0 up inside 20 minutes! Then town scored to make it 4-1, but, Chesters put another one in, before Newark made it 5-2! The half time score being 7-2!! Game over don't you think? Then Chesters scored again two minutes into the second half! Then, in fairness, Newark had a ten minute spell where they were camped in the Chesters half! The substitute who went in goal for the Chesters is normally a midfield player or Forward! He didn't concede a goal! My thoughts are that when a team is 8-2 up in a game with half an hour left, that Chesters may have "took their foot off the gas" a little, the final score, after they took off a player with 5 goals to his credit, with 15 minutes remaining, 12-2, was this the game you were watching?  
12/2/2002 14:10 GMT  Franks
Yep, if there's one thing you can't be accused of it's lacking confidence! I assume 'Neutral' was talking about the likes of Calum and Simon who usually score for fun but couldn't hit a cows a*se with a banjo on Sunday! Lets face it, everything went t*ts up for us on Sunday. Had we got our heads on the game early on, and had not so many of us gone out on the p*ss the night before, it would have been much different I think. 
11/2/2002 23:11 GMT  nugget
arrogant git 
11/2/2002 22:51 GMT  Tommy D
I have confidence and scored twice, if a the other chances had fell to me rather than a couple of the other dunces we might have scored more. Call me arrogant if you want, i don't mind. 
11/2/2002 21:43 GMT  Neutral
I was stood on the sideline watching the game yesterday and couldn't believe the scoreline. I see the Chesters player basically codemning Newark Town as being rubbish but it could have been so different. We counted 8 clear-cut chances for Town within a 10 minute spell. Had Town sorted their defence out they could have quite easily have won that game! I think both defences need to take a look at themselves by next weeks game, aswell as the Newark strikers finding abit of confidence in front of goal. 
11/2/2002 11:51 GMT  "Re; From the Chesters"
I appreciate that there is sometimes "friendly Banter" between local clubs, but comments like this only cause "friction" between "rival" clubs! It would appear that an individual has written their own thoughts/opinion, but has hidden behind the name of a football club!! I would like to stress the point, that although the result appears "convincing", Newark Towns youngsters did not stop competing until the final whistle. All those "genuine" people at the "Chesters football club" wish to be dis-associated with the comments put onto your web site on 10/02/2002 timed at 23:14. Keep up the good work you lads, you DO have a "sound" basis to work upon!! 
10/2/2002 23:14 GMT  From the Chesters
Well lads think I would put all plans on 'hold' for another ten years if thats the best you lot are CAPABLE OF. See you had big plans - 1st plan get some decent players!Then if in a few years time you are up there with the big boys think about your great plans.We gave u a hel of a thrashing today lads and to be honest Newark Ladies would have give us more ttrouble -at least they got handbags! 
10/2/2002 21:35 GMT  The Franks rallying cry!
Hammered? That's abit of an under-statement ain't it?! We let Chesters have a head start with 3 stupid mistakes and a crap refing decision early on and after that our heads went down. After countless warnings we never got to terms with the hoofed ball over the top and it murdered us. Had we got our act together early on we could have got something out of the game. We had so many chances, if we had got our head on at both ends of the pitch todays game could've been 5-5 or 6-6. Oh well, a good thrashing once a season is good for you. It'll give us the kick up the ar*e we need and make us focus again. We've started to think we only have to walk onto the pitch to win and thats what did us in. The neutrals on the sideline all said we played the better football today, so if we sort our backline out by the next time we play Chesters everything else would then look after itself and I guarentee the game will be a hell of alot closer. Well played Chesters anyway. 
10/2/2002 15:43 GMT  1 Word 4 Ya
24/1/2002 09:02 GMT  Sean
news ahas reached me that you conceeded a goal from a goalkeepers kick i havent seen that happen since my teammate Willie Johnson was decieved against the olde enemy at hampden in 31'. Tell Maggie im missing him. 
23/1/2002 15:27 GMT  An ode to Thean
I can't beleive Thean has gone... all those memories of his braveness in 69, and when he and my great grandfather spotted young Stanley Matthews. Can you remember when Leeds City paid a british record £4,000 for him, I even have the newspaper cut out, and when he and Winston Churchill campaigned for the blackout, oh such memories. I always used to buy that magazine - Sean of the South* not that useless Roy of the Rovers from memories of his time at Southampton when he scored goal of the season for 1929 at the Baseball Ground 
13/1/2002 22:13 GMT  Dear Advertiser......
Not that it's my place to mention it but the poll has no yes on it - could you please rectify this mistake so Sean "winger" Gallacher can be told how his fans acurrately feel. The mans a gentleman of football. Jesus Christ man - dont you remember his goal in the Fairs cup quarter final in 69?? His triumphant brace against Bradford Park Avenue in t'Milk Cup. What about his role in Leed's city's succesfull promotion from division 3 North?? He is a man who has been at the top of local football since 1952 - I remember when as a youngster of 29 he captained the Crown and Cushion Willy Hall cup winning side He is a national treasure and to dismiss him as less should be punished as Treason. He's an honest clean living professional, unlike that foul mouthed unkempt youth Mr Richardson who besmirches the fine name of Newark Town with his tomfoolery.  
4/1/2002 21:40 GMT  Bruce Willis
At least it hasnt got Fecking Caravans on it, barstools! 
3/1/2002 15:33 GMT  Franks
Is that the 1879 Cup Final you're talking about Sean? The way you subdued the Royal Engineers Left-half Willie Dougal was a thing of footballing beauty! 
3/1/2002 15:06 GMT  Mr. Kay
GARLIC BREAD.... im i hearing you right....GARLIC.....and BREAD 
3/1/2002 13:26 GMT  Sean
The comment was supposed to be a satirical comment in reference to the Nugget - Carl Wright incident which transpired on the 24th of December in Time. I would never cause any trouble involving CARL WRIGHT! My fans, many of whom were present in the 79 "Gallacher" F.A cup final, would testify to this 
2/1/2002 21:21 GMT  Scrooge McDuck
I bet my last Dime of Nicky 'The Killer' Brompton to floor him in the 4th. Och! 
2/1/2002 20:56 GMT  Franks
Sorry, the result of the previous Town v Flowserve game was 3-2, following 2 blatant, stone wall penalties for us! PS Who the hell is this Gandhi-esq !!!!NO TROUBLE!!!!! bloke? Surely abit of trouble is good for team morale! If you want to know who's causing trouble between CARL WRIGHT!!! and Nugget then I suggest you look for the veteran defender who will soon be sampling the delights of the Far East. 
31/12/2001 14:50 GMT  Carl Wright
Nuggets its war me and you. I want blood 
29/12/2001 12:45 GMT  Ali-B
Who was the ar5e that wrote in my name, (Baileys) very funny lads, Hey i nearly copped off Saturday night even after i got dropped off in Ollerton, got chatting to 2 nice birds, must have been my lucky night....... Thanks for the night out lads, you brought back out the lad in me.... So whens the next seshh! 
23/12/2001 22:24 GMT  Alan Ball
Thanks for the baileys lads 
19/12/2001 00:34 GMT  Paul Wardle (AC Bulwell FC)
Not a bad site chaps, keep up the good work. Stick at it on the field and maybe your results will improve. Im still working on the AC site, ill let you boys know when its online. Merry Christmas to you all !!! 
15/12/2001 16:51 GMT  The New Look Website
This is only a preview no links work at the minute copy and paste this into the address bar 
14/12/2001 10:56 GMT  Sean
Franks lost a pint drinking competition to a girl on the podium at Time last night. He was marginally beaten by the woman. In an added humiliation he was disqualified by the D.J after the contest on the serious offence of "dribbling" as a good amount of the pint landed on his shirt. Thank you for your time!  
14/12/2001 02:16 GMT  Franks
Just like to say that I by no means lost a pint drinking competition to a girl on the podium at Time tonight. Anything Sean says is a lie and fabrication aimed at discrediting me. Thank you for yur time! 
12/12/2001 14:48 GMT  Franks
F*cking hell Alan, they get worse! Any more of those and you'll be banned for the Friendly against Rutland on Sunday, you have been warned!  
12/12/2001 10:28 GMT  Ali-B
Frankseeeee you llama, nice poll :) Heres one for you! --------- A man is walking down the street in London when he hears a woman screaming and detects a faint smell of burning in the air. He runs down the street and around a corner and sees a huge group of people standing watching a blazing building. On the tenth floor of the building a woman, clutching a bundle to her chest, is leaning out of a window screaming for someone to save her baby. The man steps forward and calls up to the woman, "Throw down your baby and I'll catch it!" "No! No!" the woman shouts back. "You might miss or drop my baby and she'll be killed!" "No I won't!" shouts the man. "I am David Seaman. I was the goalkeeper for England in Euro 96 and I didn't miss a match all through the tournament. In all that time I only let the ball into my net a few times." "What? Hardly ever?" calls the woman. "Yes!" shouts back the man. "Every football player in the land agrees that I was the best keeper in the competition and I'm now worth over 3 million pounds ". And with that he adopts the classic goalkeepers stance - legs apart and slightly bent at the knees, body slightly bent forward at the waist and with his arms stretched downwards at a slight angle away from his body, with palms facing forward. "OK!" screams the woman. "I'll trust you. I've no choice! Here she comes!" So, with the flames roaring all around her, the woman throws the baby from the window. However, the edge of the baby's shawl catches on the woman's watch with the result that the child goes spinning off to one side, tumbling head over heels and with her little arms and legs flailing. The woman screams and the crowd gasps, all sure that the baby will perish because she will fall out of reach of the man. The man remains motionless as the child descends, spinning and tumbling further and further away from him as she comes. Then when the baby is only feet from hitting the ground the man dives a full 30 feet across the pavement, catches the baby in his outstretched right hand, pulls her in towards his chest and shields her body with his left hand and arm. He hits the ground heavily on his right side and lies motionless on the pavement for a few seconds. Then, slowly, he raises himself to his feet and turns to face the crowd and everyone sees that the child is alive. The crowd is awe-struck. Then the crowd erupts with cheers and the woman, still in danger herself, nearly faints with relief. The man, still clutching the child to his chest in his right arm, waves to the crowd of onlookers to acknowledge their appreciation. Then, slowly and gracefully, he turns away from them, bounces the baby twice on the ground, and kicks her 60 yards down the road.....  
10/12/2001 16:53 GMT  Nugget
Why dont u ever leave your name u complete nob head? 
9/12/2001 15:45 GMT  Geoff Richardson
I'd like to apologise to all for my strawberry blond son whose shocking behaviour on Sunday disgraced my good family's name. My only explanation is that he eat to much pudding. 
9/12/2001 11:41 GMT  bilborough fc
Just a quick note to say we at Bilborogh hope that the lads who had the accident on the way to saturdays game are OK 
6/12/2001 20:41 GMT  To Bilborough
Alright then mate. Seeing as you asked so nicely we're prepared to go easy on you on Saturday. So if Bilborough thrash Town on Saturday you'll know why!!! :) 
4/12/2001 15:21 GMT  Bilborough FC
Alright lads.. Saturday could be an interesting match, especially after we lost for the first time this season at Retford on Saturday. We'll either have another shocker and you'll beat us, or you'll feel the full backlash from,last week.... that's assuming the pitch holds up after all the rain that's forecast. Anyway, look forward to seeing you again, and enjoy the game. 
4/12/2001 12:03 GMT  Bilborough FC
Go easy on us boys 
4/12/2001 10:23 GMT  Ali-B
A farmer goes out one day and buys a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The rooster struts over to the old rooster and says, 'OK, old fart, time to retire.' The old rooster replies,' come on, you can't handle ALL these chickens. Look what it's done to me. Can't you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner?' The young rooster says, 'Beat it! You're washed up and I'm taking over.' The old rooster says 'I'll tell you what, young stud, I'll race you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop.' The young rooster laughs, 'You know you don't stand a chance old man, so just to be fair, I'll give you a head start. 'The old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off after him. They round the front of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap. He's already about 5 inches behind the old rooster and gaining fast. The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting on the front porch when he sees the roosters running by. He grabs up his shotgun and BOOM!, he blows the young rooster to bits. The farmer sadly shakes his head, 'Damn,...third gay rooster I bought this month.'  
3/12/2001 18:20 GMT  DEANO (DEAN JONES)
Ex Newark town man coming home for crimbo,would like to come training or if you are short for players over the crimbo period,i will be happy to help out! souns as if the town are stuggling a little bit this season there is so much talent in newark i dont understand why eveyone would opt to play for simos there only used to be one team in Newark!. I miss playing footy while being out in America winter here gets below freezin and snow so they play indoor,looking forward for the spring the season is in like 3 parts. Trying to stay fit looking for a club over here not the same style of football though everyone holds onto the ball to long i dont think they have heard of a 1-2. keep up the good work on the website its the first time i have been on and its pretty good,i also check Newark gas website who i have played for the past couple of seasons they never update it though so i will check this one again. good luck for the rest of the season Deano ................ 
28/11/2001 11:29 GMT  A night on the town
One for Ging A farmer wanted to have his hens serviced, so he went to the market looking for a rooster. He was hoping he could get a special rooster-one that would service all of his many hens. When he told this to the market vendor, the vendor replied: "I have just the rooster for you. Henry here is the horniest rooster you will ever see!" So the farmer took Henry back to the farm. Before setting him loose in the hen house, though, he gave Henry a little pep talk: "Henry," he said, "I'm counting on you to do your stuff." And without a word, Henry strutted into the hen house. Henry was as fast as he was furious, mounting each hen like a thunderbolt. There was much squawking and many feathers flying, till Henry had finished having his way with each hen. But, Henry didn't stop there. Henry went into the barn and mounted all of the ducks, one by one, and still at the same frantic pace. Then he went to the pigeon house, where he did the same. The farmer, watching all of this with disbelief cried out, "Stop, Henry!! You'll kill yourself!!" But Henry continued, seeking out each farm fowl in the same manner. Well, the next morning, the farmer looked out and saw Henry lying there on his lawn. His legs were up in the air, his eyes rolled back, and his long tongue hanging out. A buzzard was already circling above Henry. The farmer walked up to Henry saying, "Oh you poor thing, look what you did, you've gone and killed yourself. I warned you little buddy." "Shhhhhhh," Henry whispered, "The buzzard's getting closer." 
28/11/2001 11:25 GMT  One for Ginger Spice
What's the difference between a prostitute and a rooster? One goes cockadoodledoo the other goes anycocklldo  
27/11/2001 20:03 GMT  Franks
To whoever 2 Unlimited is - quality! One question though, what does "Let's get hyked" mean?! Baz for King! 
27/11/2001 15:50 GMT  2 Unlimited
Awight lads as your number one fans ('Tribal Dance' was dedicated to Rooster when he was at the top of his career - back in 95, before he hit the bottle) we'd like to offer all we can do to help the flagging sides, would a club song help. By the way, as towns greatest fans we are already releasing a bonus track on our next album which consists of Newark town stats in melodius form, its called 'Did you know that Baz is 34th in line for the thrown?' It has guest vocals from former town linesman Robert Turner and youth child stars of the 90's Kris cross' Anyway to phrase Newarks Towns legendary Goalkeeper Chris "the Clown" Franks "lets get Hyked"! sounds like a great hit..........  
27/11/2001 14:14 GMT  Ali-B
hey geezers, lets get ready for this Sunday lads, and lift our heads, cos if we perform the same way as last Sunday we will be well overdue to Thrash someone. I have this feeling that Bridge could get a pasting. Lets get hyked up and cross the bridge to promotion.... Ok well maybe not this year, but well give our best shot! 
26/11/2001 16:16 GMT  Nugget
I'll write ya a match report tomorrow afternoon if i can fit it into my slack student life, i'll also include my man of the match in it. Amazing init, someone actually supporting us instead of some 'know it all' getting on our backs. I say F*ck em and get on with it, we know we can do it. Up the Town!!  
25/11/2001 21:54 GMT  Time to build a new Stadium...
...Because with all the cr*p I've seen written about Town on the various guestbooks on it looks as if we've got half of Newark following us, home & away, because so many people seem to think they know Town inside out and are qualified to pass judgement on the club. It's not just Franksie, everybody at the club knows the score - we're struggling for players, struggling to field a full-strength side and struggling to keep a settled team (Saturdays and Sundays) - so I think it's time to just ignore these outsiders who think they know what they're on about. Come on TOWN! 
22/11/2001 15:56 GMT  Bower Constructions
Sorry, we only do water features. 
22/11/2001 14:18 GMT  Franks
I'm sure I've seen that telephone number before. Isn't that the number gorgeous young blondes who are looking for a good time ring?! 
21/11/2001 19:25 GMT  The Taliban
We need someone to build shelter in Afghanistan! We heard we can contact a company called Bower Construction on this website. If you are interested in tendering then please call us on this number 07950738568 
18/11/2001 21:27 GMT  Bower Constructions
Somebody PLEASE give us some work! 
14/11/2001 22:47 GMT  scott
venie i do have a few contacts that might be able to help you, but the biggest problem you will have is with immigration. if look in some of the football mags like four four two and try to find some info about coach U.S.A or something like that, they are usually in the adverts, they sort your visa out and pay for most of your stuff, you will just have to pay for your flight. the program lasts a few months but i think you can do it every year. let me know how it go's i'll help you as much as i can. Kev stick with it the ones that leave you can't worry about it's the ones that stay that the future is built on. it's just a matter of time. best wishes to all...scott 
14/11/2001 22:33 GMT  Venie
I dont wanna sound disrespectful Scott Asher, but i don't remember you + i'm also trying to get out to america to hopefully get into the football (soccer) coaching scene so if you can help then please reply to this message. 
14/11/2001 15:33 GMT  The Joker
Three friends two straight guys and a gay guy and their significant others were on a cruise. A tidal wave came up and swamped the ship; they all drowned, and next thing you know, they're standing before St. Peter. First came one of the straight guys and his wife. St. Peter shook his head sadly. "I can't let you in. You loved money too much. You loved it so much, you even married a woman named Penny." Then came the second straight guy. "Sorry, can't let you in, either. You loved food too much. You loved to eat so much, you even married a woman named Candy!" The gay guy turned to his boyfriend and whispered nervously, "It doesn't look good, Dick." 
14/11/2001 15:00 GMT  Franks
P.S. Why is Alan asking Rooster on the internet if he's going training tonight when they work at the same bloody place?!! Sort it! 
14/11/2001 14:55 GMT  Franks
Agree with everything you say Scott, unfortunatly you're preaching to the blind. You mentioned loyalty in your message, and that's been Town's biggest downfall in the last few years. Experienced and talented have stuck their fingers up at the club and walked out to join 'that other Newark team' on so many occasions that you'd have to get a calculator out. If they had shown some loyalty, mixed with the young lads we have had come through in the last couple of years, it would be Newark Town in the Senior Division of the Notts Alliance and it would be Simmo's struggling at the lower end of the Alliance. You're right about the hard work put in by people within the club (and I know Baggy has some big plans which, if they come off, will have a huge impact on the club) but unfortunatly the club at Senior level is on a severe downer at the minute. The First team are losing to sides they should be hammering and the Reserves are gonna take a while to get used to playing in their new league. Confidence is low and it all eminates from those players who have left the club in the lurch. Both sides are made up mainly of 17-21 year olds and, although talented, they are struggling in Leagues against players who have played at the very top of local football and are coming down a few divisions to finish their careers. I have no doubt that we have the talent here to do well and I think we will start to come good in a few years time, but the club could do with a boost much sooner than that. Rant over!  
14/11/2001 10:37 GMT  Rooster
Shear Poetry! 
14/11/2001 01:17 GMT  scott asher
Dear all, just wanted to say a quick hello and wish you all good luck from across the pond in the U.S.A. For those of you who may not know who i'am i played for newark town from the age of fourteen, that was when the club re-formed after many years, granted it was an U 16 side and at that point i had no chance of figuring in a starting line up, i would turn up train and go to the matches, also the side then was filled with a lot of talent. But i stuck with them and baggy for years after that going through u16s' and u18s' and then when the senior side was formed i joined them. I had the pleasure of helping coach some of the younger kids, who now i see are playing saturday and sunday football and seem to be holding there own very well young Mr Munton scott and robert walker and steven venables. Then the reserves were formed and that was where my proudest moments were as a newark town player after a season of being formed we were doing o.k. i had the honour of being named player of the year (managers) and the following year took over as manager we went on to win the benevolent cup and finished runners up in the grantham league that year. two years later i left for america where i'am still and to this day as i look back on all the football i played. my years with newark town are still my fondest memories. Whats the point of me telling you this ? for those of you who are players today to realise that although you may not get the same newspaper coverage as other newark sides or at the minute the success may not be there at the end of the day look around at all the newark town sides that you have from the men to the women to the kids and realise you are surrounded by history, history that was made by hard work, effort ,and loyalty and thats something to be proud of. I have no idea who is at the club and managing which sides but i would bet that baggy is still around somewhere and i see kev franks is still there if it wasn't for people like maureen McGuiness and those mentioned above plus my own dad, malc purvess, alan lowe, brian dobb, dave duddles, paul heatherly and Mr Astill, the list is endless and i apologise for not including everyone. newark town would not be alive and strong today, so remember next time you pull on that shirt you are not just playing for another football team you are playing for newark town.  
13/11/2001 21:33 GMT  Rudiger
What's with all the stupid names? 
13/11/2001 19:45 GMT  Jasper
shut up Bill 
13/11/2001 13:17 GMT  Bill
I'll take both of u on!!  
13/11/2001 08:57 GMT  Bob
Bring Donald on! 
12/11/2001 19:26 GMT  Donald
I blame Bob 
11/11/2001 22:11 GMT  Franks
Sorry there's a bit in there that should say "by the end of this season" rather than "by the end of the new season". God knows what I'm on about tonight! PS, If my dad was here now I'm sure he'd want me to remind you about training at Magnus on wednesday night, 8:30-9:30. 
11/11/2001 21:43 GMT  Franks
OK. 1, yes it was a very bad October! As many will know I was on holiday late October/early November and when I got back I clean forgot to ask the managers for their players of the month. It will be rectified this month. To quote a famous Town player with a massive car removal fine to pay "Trust me, I used to be a doctor". 2, To reiterate, you have absolutely no worries Ducko, we're not after any Farndon players. 3, Spoke to Deano today. He finishes his initial treatment just before Christmas and will be going through a course of physiotherapy in the new year. He even stated his hope that he may be back and able to play a game by the end of the new season which is obviously great news for everybody. If only some of our current players would show that same amount of guts and courage we wouldn't be hanging around the lower depths of our respected divisions! 4, I'll do the match reports tomorrow (monday) afternoon. Cheers. 
11/11/2001 08:22 GMT  Ducko
With regards to the message from the main man at Farndon I would just like to say that it wasn't me as I would have put my own name. As for players wishing to sign for Newark Town that would be their choice. To the Watchman, the procedure for approaching a player on a Sunday is the same as Saturday, you are supposed to put seven days in writing to the secretary of the club the player you want to approach plays for. As most transfers take place due not to an approach by a team manager but by a player at one club knowing the player from the other club this very rarely happens. If there are any Farndon players wishing to sign for yourselves hopefully they will at least let us know they are unhappy first. As for yourselves wishing to approach any of our players a quick phone call (email)out of courtesy is all that's required. Hope this clears up all the rubbish thats been going on. Good luck today. 
10/11/2001 12:36 GMT  Simon
Its good to see you burning up the dance floor of the club formally known as Caesars Franks! Keep up the good work! 
10/11/2001 11:49 GMT  NEWARK POLICE
A message for Mr Brompton will you please park your car correctly and not across peoples drive ways next time your car will be taken away and crush 
9/11/2001 19:04 GMT  Franks
Nuggets just annoyed cos his car got towed away from outside ny house this morning!!! DONT PARK IN FRONT OF DRIVE WAYS BROMPTON!! 
9/11/2001 10:26 GMT  town
in agreement with franks we dont need p**s heads like nicky at our club i have enough problems with the ones i,ve got ie franks,rooster,gallacher,walker,fraser,thorpe,and about ten others so we dont need yours farndon please 
8/11/2001 17:13 GMT  To Mr.Brompton
Calm down Nicky - we know it aon't you- The Boss (Not Ducko) FFC 
8/11/2001 15:52 GMT  to fuc*inkg rumor man from nicky
whats all this about, i come on here to have a look and theres all this sh*t from w*nkers like yourself. as the watchman said just do something useful in life instead spreading sh*t about other people.  
8/11/2001 12:03 GMT  Franks
I'm one of the disgruntled players, couldn't even get a place on the bench on Sunday! Go away for 5 minutes and you're cast aside into the shadows. Get my agent on the phone! It's clear that the only problem Farndon and Town have is lack of years. There are few players better than Rhys, Dave, Nugget and Venie round here but when they come up against the 35 year old midfield who's played at all levels of local football and knows all the tricks of the trade then they're gonna come out second best in tight contests. Same applies to Joe Thorpe, Chris Taylor, Tommy Dowd, etc, in our side, though our main problem at the minute is with the defence. If we could get a settled defence we'd be top now. One week the defence will be Rooster-Sean-Ricky then the next it's Joe-Harry-Simon - it could be anything on Sunday! We're scoring loads of goals at the minute but we're also conceding loads at the minute (2-3, 3-4, 3-5, 7-5, etc). When that defence gets settled watch us go!!! PS - We don't want drunkeds like Brompton at our club thank you very much!! 
8/11/2001 09:31 GMT  The Watchman
Well said Main man (Ducko) there is no need for all the bickering, especially when neither team really has anything to bicker about, good luck Farndon this weekend! 
7/11/2001 17:52 GMT  From THE main man at Farndon
Chris - Agree a lot of stiring going on mate, but exspect that when mates play together on Saturday and not Sunday. A few bad results and everyones on the bandwagon, but as at least you appreciate there is a hell of difference playing the likes of Newark Inn every week to say British Sugar. Its true some lads are finding it difficult in the Premier but also true that a couple of defeats like last Sunday also shows that they are not too far behind them i was a close fought match. Also the way you played against us shows you have a promising side,and like us have had some damn stupid defeats. Having a 2nd team, I know that yes we all like to win leagues/cups we have this problem at our club, 2nd team won the league and think there better than 1st and some lads would not if asked play for the 1st team, then they go and get beat 7-1 at Three Gables last weekend which says it all. I honestly feel that you will get promoted this season and am honest enough to say if our 1st team can finish mid-table or above it would be a good achievment, but you don't win ought for that! Anyway Chris if you got 21 players down there last week you got more problems and disgruntled lads then we have! Keep going mate it's a long haul but you will get there.  
7/11/2001 11:33 GMT  The Wiseman
Totally aree with the Watchman. Newark Town is an up and coming side who take a relaxed attitude to the game off the pitch but give 100% on it. If certain players like this style and want to sign for them there hardly likely to say Bog off.  
6/11/2001 14:59 GMT  The Watchman
What is an illegal approach in the Newark Alliance 3rd division anyway who cares its only Sunday League football Rumour man get a life PS. Joe Stevens would have no chance of getting in Newarks team ,not even if he had Lowery! 
6/11/2001 13:47 GMT  Town
I think there,s a certain amount of banter between mates here since they all play together on saturday and drink together at the weekend.There was an approach made but it was made by a Farndon player to use but it wasn,t Joe  
6/11/2001 00:49 GMT  Franks
Hmmm, does anybody else smell bullsh*t round here? So does somebody saying to Nicky Brompton "We'll wait until you get p*ssed and make you sign a transfer form" when we're having a drink after a game on saturday count as an illegal approach now then? Stop sh*t stirring you fool. 
5/11/2001 20:53 GMT  The Rumour Man
A Mister Joe Stevens, I've also heard that another youngster from the Farndon ranks has been illegally approached by a certain Newark Town staff member but remember that it's just a rumour. 
5/11/2001 08:45 GMT  town
Reply to rumour man can you please let use know who these farndon players are we might be interested cheers 
4/11/2001 23:56 GMT  Ali-B
Whens this site being updated for match reports and stuff like that... Al 
4/11/2001 21:20 GMT  Franks
In a word - no. Care to enlighten us as to who these mystery players are? We got lucky in picking up the unsettled Tommy D from a higher division side but I can't see that happening again - though I'm sure theres several Farndon players who if they came and asked to sign for us we'd hardly say no! 
4/11/2001 20:46 GMT  The Rumour Man
I heard 2 Farndon 1st teamers are signing for you this true? 
4/11/2001 20:35 GMT  Ali-B (Alan)
Kev, i got bored and decided to start making us a new web site, ill release a preview and send you the web address when its near to being done 
3/11/2001 01:38 GMT  Franks
Ladies and Gentleman I am back! No coincidence that Town lost all their games since I went away. OK, maybe not! Good to see the new signings Town have made for Sundays. Players like Tommy Dowd and Alan Ball are only going to improve our side and with the possibility of further signings from higher divisions to come it is clear that on paper we have a side capable of competing with the best in a few years time. The only problem is we can't wait a few years, 1 win in 6 games is not good enough. We've gotta start proving ourselves and put on a belated run, starting with Hearty on Sunday. 
2/11/2001 13:53 GMT  Town
yeah,couldn,t help it just come out.see you on has just come in it is now offical Tommy Dowd and Pat Breen have signed for the sunday side 
2/11/2001 08:21 GMT  Alan (AKA.) ALI-B
Very good m8, is that u Kev 
1/11/2001 18:45 GMT  Bill Bryson
Not another Irishman, Bin laden and american joke 
1/11/2001 16:43 GMT  newark town
Town,s sunday side sign ex england international plus three new signings on the way. News as just come in that alan ball has signed for newark town sunday team.Also 3 good young players are on their way it is hoped these players will help improve a very good young team  
1/11/2001 13:58 GMT  Revenger
An Irishman, Assama Bin Ladin, and an American. One day these 3 men are walking down to their local, when somehow they bump into each other. They all start argueing, and anyway one of em turns round and shouts, hey what the f*k is that. The Irishmen pics a brass object up lying at the side of the payment. "Its like a genies lamp" the american says. "Dont pull my piser" says the Irishmen. The irishmen rubs the lamp with a bit of doubt in his mind. All of a sudden in a puff of smoke, out pops a genie. "Woooaw" they all shout. The Genie says, thankyou for letting me out, "for freeing me you may each have one wish" the genie says. "Irishmen what will be your wish" says Genie. "Hmmm, I wish that there were a pub on every street corner, and that all drinks were free" says the Irishmen. "Ok" says the Genie. and with a cloud of smoke he disappears, and find himself back in his hometime wish Pubs on every corner. "Hey hey, i want my wish" says Assama. "What will that be" says the Genie. "I wish that Afganistan could have a wall 1/2 a mile thick, and 10 miles high thats impenetrible to american missiles." says Assama. The american coughs!. The says "no problem", and with a cloud of smoke it happens. "And what would you like Mr Americano" says genie. "Fill the f*ker with water" says the American. 
31/10/2001 16:09 GMT  Helen P
Whens my baby coming back off holiday, im missing him and i want a chrissy cuddle!! i hope he hasnt been doing anything he shouldnt!  
30/10/2001 17:37 GMT  BilboroughFC
Link on our home page to your site. Good luck with rest of season. 
30/10/2001 15:48 GMT  The Joker
An elderly woman goes to the doctor and asks his help to revive her husband's sex drive. "What about trying Viagra?" asks the doctor. "Not a chance" says Mrs. Murphy. "He won't even take an aspirin for a headache." "No problem," replies the doctor. "Drop it into his coffee, he won't even taste it. Try it and come back in a week to let me know how everything went." A week later Mrs. Murphy returns to the doctor and he inquires as to how her love life has been. "Oh it was terrible, just terrible doctor." "What happened?" asks the doctor. "Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee. The effect was immediate. He jumped straight up, swept the cutlery off the table, at the same time ripping my clothes off and then proceeded to make passionate love to me on the tabletop. It was terrible." "What was terrible?" said the doctor, "Was the sex not good?" "Oh no doctor, the sex was the best I've had in 25 years, but I'll never be able to show my face in McDonald's again. 
30/10/2001 12:31 GMT  CFC Webdesigner
The Collingham Website is open. That's the Saturday side. 
30/10/2001 08:45 GMT  Alan
Why doesnt anyone use the forum!, Its dead... Forums are much better to for chat messages, and replying etc. 
30/10/2001 08:11 GMT  Alan
My foot is bruised to hell m8, ive just started walking right instead of hobblin, like a munkeh on weed. I should be able to do some light training Wednesday, i think it needs an extra day, you will know if i turn up Tuesday, that its gettin much better. I should be ok for Sunday. 
29/10/2001 15:14 GMT  newark town
nice to see you found the site alright alan see you at training 
28/10/2001 16:06 GMT  Alan Ball
hello lads this is Alan, just trying this thing out. The last match against Cardinals Hat.... Well what can i say they should there very lucky to come away with a win.... 
22/10/2001 17:41 GMT  newark town
1st team lost 4.0 to bottesford 2nd team lost 4.0 to awsworth villa res 
22/10/2001 13:17 GMT  Franks
Don“t threat youngsters cos Franks is always present wherever you go! Haven“t got a laptop but there is am internet thingy in the hotel! Currently having a great time! How did we get on this weekend? Rooster says hello. Good luck to the Sunday team against the Hat next sunday. PS, expect stories of certain people getting p*ssed and lost up mountains 10am when we get home!! 
22/10/2001 12:51 GMT  Shep
Newark without Franks! just doesn't work it's like Salad without Watercress! 
19/10/2001 20:23 GMT  A. Bloke
There is no tv in Afganistan because of the Tele-ban - get it? 
19/10/2001 12:09 GMT  Nicky
you sad basta*d 
19/10/2001 10:02 GMT  Osama Bin Laden
Why don't you infidels watch some proper TV instead of this Zionist rubbish you sit glued to every night. Try Taleban TV! Here's todays listings: 6.00 G-Had TV. (Morning prayers.) 8.30 Talitubbies. (Talitubbies say "A-llah". Dipsy and Tinky-Winky repair a Stinger missile launcher.) 9.00 Shouts of Praise. (More prayers.) 11.00 Jihad's Army. (The Kandahar-on-Sea battalion repulse another attack by evil, imperialist, Zionist backed infidels.) 12.00 Ready, Steady, Jihad! (Celebrities make lethal devices out of everyday objects.) 12.30 Panoramadan. (The programme reports on Americas attempts to take over the world.) 13.30 Xena: Modestly dressed Housewife. (Xena stays at home and does some cooking.) 14.00 Only Fools and Camels. (Dhal-Boy offloads some Chinese rocket launchers to Hamas.) 14.30 Green Peter. (The total of Kalashnikovs bought by the milk bottle top appeal is revealed.) 15.00 Madrasah Challenge. (Two more Islamic colleges meet. Bambah Kaskhain asks the questions. 'Starter for ten, no praying.') 15.30 I Love 629. (A look back at the events of the year, including the Prophet's entry into Mecca, and the destruction of pagan idols.) 16.00 Question Time. (Members of the public face questions from political and religious leaders.) 17.00 Koranation Street. (Deirdrie faces execution by stoning for adultery.) 17.30 Middle-East Enders. (The entire cast is jailed for anti-islamic behaviour.) 18.00 Holiday. (The team go on pilgrimage to Mecca. Again.) 18.30 Top of the Prophets. (Will the Koran be No.1 for the 63,728th week running?) 19.00 Who wants to be a Mujahadin? (Mahmoud Tarran asks the questions. Will contestants phone a Mullah, go 'inshallah', or ask the Islamic council?) 20.00 FILM: Shariah's Angels. (The three burkha-clad sleuths go undercover to expose an evil scheme to educate women.) 21.30 Big Brother. (Who will be taken out of the house and executed this week?) 22.30 Shahs in their Eyes. (More hopefuls imitate famous destroyers of the infidel.) 23.30 They think it's Allah over. (Quiz culminating in the 'don't feel the Mullah' round.) 0.00 When Imams attack. (Amusing footage shot secretly in mosques. The filmers were also secretly shot.) 0.30 The West Bank Show. (Arts programme looking at anti-Israel graffiti art in the occupied territories.)1.30 Bhuffi the Infidel Slayer. 
17/10/2001 10:39 GMT  Too Many
There have been far too many comments written on here lately, I just cant keep up! please every1 stop wrapping the guestbook 
13/10/2001 22:17 GMT  newark town
cheers lads good game bad result.good luck see you next season 
13/10/2001 16:30 GMT  dave r-b
once again the balance swings back in Bilboroughs favour. great game boys see you next year  
8/10/2001 21:46 GMT  Boy George
Seans throw!! 
8/10/2001 05:02 GMT  From 1 of the lads
Well played against Farndon , we all played out of our skins against a good side. Dissapointing though to note that had we achieved a win it would not have counted because of a let say 'technical blunder'! Come on the Management get it sorted! 
7/10/2001 22:16 GMT  Franks
Well, I was due a good game eventually Ducko! No need to make me look so stupid for your goal though! 
7/10/2001 22:01 GMT  Ducko
A short note to say well played to Newark Town today. Winning the Third Division won't be a problem if you get that commitment every week. Also Franksy, your keeping was nearly as good as your report writing. 
6/10/2001 10:49 GMT  Franks
Alright Luke, cheers for the message mate! Can't help but admire the way you wound Lowdham up on their guestbook. Quality! What's all this I hear about you wanting to come back to Town on Saturdays? If you do you'll have to make sure you get yourself down to out next home game, you'll be more than welcome. Cheers mate! 
3/10/2001 12:18 GMT  Luke Donnelly!
Alright lads! I thought I'd leave my name and forget all the bull-sh*t! I've just read your site from start to finish and have to admit that I've been quite impressed by the majority of the input, especially that of a certain Mr Franks! If you didn't already know me I play for Newark Gas on a sunday and we also have a site, but theres a slack geezer running it at the minute and not much is getting done, but I'm hoping to we get something sorted soon! Any Town players are welcome to make a comment, but I'm not sure how the other lads will react cuz most of them are nutters! (but feel free to write and see!) Anyway Has anyone checked out Lowdham United's site yet? Worth a laugh! Oh and by the way if you to get that gingerfanny jaffa off your site, then give him plenty of abuse and tell him that you are now a connected team (to the gas!) He'll soon bottle it and you won't hear no more! Anyway lads nice to hear you've got off to a good start, hope peomotion is a reality and not a dream! Sorry to hear about Dean, send my regards. For now lads thats it from me, other than to say, hope to see you in the "Newark Advertiser" Premier some day along side "THE GAS" if that too far away, I'll see u true fans in the Post Office on Saturday, to watch is F*ck them Greek B*stards! P.s "UP THE GAS!" and keep up the good work Franksy & Co! 
1/10/2001 22:28 GMT  Sven Gordon Erikkson La La La La La
Splended idea, me old Engleeesh chum. 
1/10/2001 16:13 GMT  Brian Clough
I think the young man Playing for the Newark Town u16's should be asked to sign a 10yr contract for the Adult side with a non fuk-off to IDP clause.  
26/9/2001 08:32 GMT  The Job Centre
I agree with Mr Dowd. Mansfield sides are disgraceful, they're not interested in football, just kicking lumps out of everyone. When older players give them stick they back down. Think it's due to Mansfield being such a dump!! they're all dole dossers and are destined for Laurens!! 
25/9/2001 19:00 GMT  One Man Marching Band
What can you do? Ask scientist to find a way of removing the 'Tosser' gene found in all people who come from the Mansfield area? 
25/9/2001 18:52 GMT  Tommy Dowd
something has got to be done about that bloody notts cup, especially the mansfield sides. they pick on the smallest player on the pitch and are actually proud of themselves. last season, against carpenters arms in the notts cup, i myself was taken out and strained the ligaments in my ankle - it made me miss 9 weeks of football. it wasn't even a mistimed tackle, a couple of players had a go at me earlier in the game. i was 17 then and 5'7", simon is 19 and about 5'3" - there's no need for it. also, in the notts cup final we (new inn reserves) were involved in a 15 man brawl - why? because of a 2 footed, knee high tackle on a 15 year old.  
25/9/2001 18:18 GMT  Just an Idea
What good is he? Only useful thing would to stand him outside the Hospital - with that mop of his head and 100 volts going through him he'd make a good pelican crossing sign... 
25/9/2001 10:15 GMT  D.CRAMPTON ( FLOWSERVE)
I am trying to ban Jaffa from your site. You don't like him ' we don't like him & nobody wants to read what he has got to say, so what good is he ?????? 
24/9/2001 23:22 GMT  Franks
Bloody 'ell, bit 'arsh! 
24/9/2001 22:39 GMT  Reply to Flowserve
Jaffa if you don't shut it you are a complete ar**hole with your childish comments. Thought with your Dad being ateacher you'd might have grown up a bit, but alas no. Way you carry on believeing yer Gods gift to football I would say Osama Bin Laden is going to be safer than you with the amount of contracts out on you. 
24/9/2001 19:07 GMT  Town
I think most people would moan about a challenge like the one that was put in on Simon. F'n criminal. 
24/9/2001 18:56 GMT  Flowserve
What a difference a referee can make! Nice to see you all moaning now you have some dodgy decisions against you! 
22/9/2001 11:10 GMT  Sean
I wasnt canodling with her as the photo will reveal. However due to explosive and misleading nature of the photos i will offer £7000. If only I had a photo of you and your bit on the side at the booze cruise nugget 
21/9/2001 14:45 GMT  Max Spielman
£10!!! Thats pathetic. People are bidding thousands and thousands on yahoo auctions. It stands at £6,250, anyone like to raise the bid? 
20/9/2001 22:35 GMT  Interested
I'll give you £10 for the Seamus picture, as for the Martin Breslin picture ..... I'll pass! 
20/9/2001 21:18 GMT  Max Spielman
We are awaiting collection of a very stomach churning picture of the prieviously mentioned Galagher canoodling with some fat bird, any takers? Also a naked picture of Martin Breslin up for grabs? 
17/9/2001 23:13 GMT  Latest News
Town are sad to announce that we have been forced to fine Mr Sean Gallacher the sum of £25 for bringing the club into disrepute. That is all. 
17/9/2001 21:53 GMT  Fat bird from booze cruise
Sean my little sausage where are you im hungry!!! 
17/9/2001 19:07 GMT  Marlon Harewod
Now then Chadders, good to hear from you. Was gonna call to offer you the chance to play for Town but I changed my mind when I realised that you won't be needed now that Ryan Baggaley has signed. 
17/9/2001 18:29 GMT  Luke Chadwick
Hi lads, it's sexy Chadders here. Glad to see your teams have got off to okay starts. I've just signed a new improved Modelling Contract. I might make a move for Posh soon as well, Becks hates it when I come round and the two of us flirt in fron of him! 
17/9/2001 11:45 GMT  Franks
I dunno! Different Simon? 
17/9/2001 11:33 GMT  So...
Mr Wildish is signing for you on his return from America??? 
17/9/2001 05:18 GMT  Simon
Yet another good result lads, keep up the good football! im currently stuck in america(i bet you are all thinking good)anyway am I still able to sign when i return???? 
16/9/2001 17:53 GMT  Osama Bin Laden
id just like to point out the scribe of Nicolas Brompton written inbetween one of many numerous shopping trips with his girlfriend is nothing but twaddle. The afforementioned whale recieved a kiss on the cheek from the afforementioned sean as part of a drinking game in which a rep forced him to do so, photographic evidence will confirm this. He did not have a "dabble" as earlier stated. The shower allegations have been confirmed. Sean is quoted as saying "whaay". Any further attacks from the afforementioned Nicholas Brompton will resort in terrorist attacks on his seven foot long cigar. 
16/9/2001 16:21 GMT  Well ....
... You're the one who's supposedly called 'Ladbrokes'. Why don't you tell us what the odds are? 
14/9/2001 18:06 GMT  Ladbrokes
Can someone tell me what odds Ladbrokes are offering on a Town win against Farndon? Get Farndon out on the Saturday Night and get a few pints down them and we may be in with a chance! 
9/9/2001 19:47 GMT  Notts Constabulary
If anybody can inform us on the whereabouts of a Mr Joe 'Lucozade' Thorpe we would be eternally greatful. Mr Thorpe has been accused of making Mr P.Richardson's life hell, including smashing him in the face with a bottle of Lucozade and (somehow) talking him into buying a pair of crocodile shoes. If you see him please do not approach him. 
9/9/2001 19:34 GMT  Franks
Good to hear Sean's on good form anyway! Deano was down at the match today, he's looking abit frail but he'll pull through. 
9/9/2001 18:30 GMT  To Nuggett
Enjoy you hols mate - looks like your sunday side have started on fire!  
8/9/2001 10:17 GMT  Nugget
Alwight lads, just a quick line to let you all know im lovin it out here. Just in an internet cafe now. We,ve been on a mission all week to get martin breslin laid and we,ve failed, but mush you should have seen the whale he pulled last night on the booze cruise, but this was only after sean had had a dabble. Sorry to hear about deano, keep us posted on here and i,ll inform you of the martin breslin situation as soon as anything happens!! Cheers mushys 
2/9/2001 14:39 GMT  Shocked
All I'm gonna say is: ROOSTERS CROCODILE SHOES! Terrible! 
31/8/2001 20:14 GMT  Franks
Spoken to Deano on the phone tonight, he's been allowed home for the weekend. He sounds in good spirits but we're still not sure what's happening. He's due for more tests next week and it's only then that we'll know if it's Cancer or not. Hopefully he'll be fine. 
30/8/2001 19:49 GMT  Franks
No news yet. Results not back until tomorrow. I'll let you know as soon as I know anything. Good luck Deano! 
30/8/2001 14:36 GMT  Rooster
Fantastic to see that we have signed Ian Ormandroyd to do reports next season! next stop The Newark Advertiser PS any news on Deano? 
29/8/2001 15:34 GMT  Franks
The Poll would be more like: Who was the most p*ssed? Franks on his Birthday; Sean on his Birthday; Tommy on anybody elses Birthday; or Nugget on any random night of the week. My vote would go with Nugget I reckon! Saturday night should be a good'un. Hopefully a good start to the season against Pegasus then a good result for England and then we're all set to get going against Hearty Goodfellow on Sunday morning. Should be an interesting weekend. Come on England/Town! 
29/8/2001 12:22 GMT  Rooster
I just want a new poll, who was more drunk on their Birthday? Franks, Tommy or Sean? (or me on my next one)Since when is Franks the man with the info? Is everyone up for Saturdays p*ss up? and Big Shout out for Dean! oh dear sounds like I'm in Ceasars! anyway off for a drug search and oh yeah are we going to see Dean this week? I'll dedicate a jug of death to him well people might think that as cruel so I'll make it a pint 
25/8/2001 09:51 GMT  Nugget
Have we got a game today?  
25/8/2001 00:06 GMT  Franks - The man with the info
Wednesday's game with Burton Joyce is OFF because they couldn't get a team. 
24/8/2001 13:28 GMT  Franks
So has anybody got anymore news on Deano? 
23/8/2001 16:31 GMT  Nugget
Sorry to hear bout Deano. He'll be alrate, he's a fighter!! Just thought id let u know franks, if you didnt already know, that newark gas have a site so u can put a link on our site  
23/8/2001 15:46 GMT  Newark Town
Latest news on Dean, 7hr op tommorw [fri] hopefully everything goes alright and could be home midweek  
22/8/2001 17:25 GMT  Tommy D
Poor old Dean Gilbey is currently in hospital. He has some sort of growth on his spine and is now not walking at all. Get well soon Taz!! 
17/8/2001 16:38 GMT  Latest Town News
Sean lived up to his reputation of being a total nut-case hard man by going straight up to Tommy Dowd in the Kas Bar last night and .... throwing a drink over him! Tommy Dowd fell short of his promise of a Hat-Trick against his Town team mates in the friendly last night - in fact he missed a simple chance and was substituted at half time! Nicky Brompton is expected to be present at the Palace of Dreams once again tonight and local Bookmakers have already stopped taking bets on whether he will indeed be drunk. Sources close to Nugget are predicting a traditional: Tipsy by 9pm, Drunk by 11pm, Dead man walking by 12:30am, Dragged home by the Mrs at 1am! Deano is still being a total slack b*stard and sitting watching matches on his bike rather than getting out there and playing. The fact that he looks like he's got about 10 days to live is irrelevant. Sources at FIFA have confirmed that Chris Franks is the ONLY Goalkeeper ever to have conceded a corner from a Goal kick, something that will be talked about for many years to come no doubt! Big Ben was supposedly up to his old exaggeration tricks last week when he claimed that he drank 8 pints in the Crown & Mitre after sundays game with Newark Flowserve. Those present will know that he only had half that at the most - sort it out Ben! Chris Taylor is expected to be dropped from the team and given a transfer to Balderton Old Boys following his shocking Penalty miss against New Inn last night. We can't tolerate such terrible players at our club any longer. Joe Thorpe was turned down at Wetherspoons yesterday afternoon - 'nuff said! Those present were stunned when Kevin Franks announced is idea for the Sunday team's next striker. This mystery player: Simon Temporal, the man who has launched more balls into orbit than NASA! In all fairness to the lad he did score twice last season - past his own 'keeper! Calum has officially the most inappropriate job in the world. The skinny, constantly Id'd, chick magnet is now working in France as a Brickie, though how he manages to lift all those bricks is a mystery to everyone! More news coming soon... 
16/8/2001 15:42 GMT  Farndon United F.C.
Just like to say there has been a lot of crap written in various guestbooks within the Newark League, so of it from windup merchants no doubt. But from ' de boss' at Farndon I would like to say I hope you lads go out and win that league. I'm sure you got the players to do it, I'm also sure that the Willie Hall match will be a good close game. Best of luck to yer and I hope some silverware comes your way.  
16/8/2001 11:34 GMT  DAVID "WILBUR" CRAMPTON
I thought you might like to know the score from our game against Zenith. NEWARK FLOWSERVE 5 - 0 ZENITH , a very good performance and fine goals from DAVE ADWICK 2, JASON HORROBIN , SIMON GREENFIELD and PETER HOWE. 
15/8/2001 12:15 GMT  Franks
Cheers mate. As for the Willie Hall, I'm sure Farndon will have a say in that ! 
15/8/2001 11:33 GMT  DAVID "WILBUR" CRAMPTON
Thanks for the game on Sunday. All of our lads enjoyed the run out , even our 'keeper.As regards the two penalties, you can only give what you think is the right decision and that is fine by me. I am sure that "FRANKS" did'nt mind me pulling his leg about those dodgy pens. Anyway, good luck for the new season and who knows , we might get drawm together in the Willie Hall Cup !!  
13/8/2001 22:49 GMT  Highly Amused
Anyone seen the news story on Flowserves website? Seem's the poor lads are a little upset that we beat them yesterday. They made the comment "After one victory they suddenly think they are world beaters". Not true Jaffa, or whatever your name is. The game against you was oh so easy. When we beat a half decent side then we'll be pleased, but not yet. Now pick your dummy up and get on with it, sore loser. 
9/8/2001 13:56 GMT  Franks
I'll get right on it 
9/8/2001 13:31 GMT  disappointed
franks, change the poll to "do you think sean is a sad geek?" 
9/8/2001 07:18 GMT  Sean - In India
That better be a joke Franks!! my mission in India is almost complete it took a month but i have found some vodka that is 50% proof. Ive also done a seventeen day trek up to 5400 metres but i feel the real achievement is in finding the vodka. Anway ill bring it round on tuesday when i get back. India is great except for three things 1) some Hindu pratt decided to make cows sacred, they just roam freely around Delhi causing car crashes and also beef is of the menu. 2) they dont have pubs but instead sell dodgy lager-beer. 3)Delhi Belly. Flowserve are a poor quality side, mr Punjab next to me agrees and has heard of your reputation for avoiding relegation by default 
22/7/2001 08:00 GMT  Sean
Yes it really was me. you can still access the internet from a height equivalent of 3000 feet. Not bad for a country that essentially has housing of Yorke drive quality. Is Caesers still open, i have found beer in India that tastes worse than anything they have to offer. Im off on a seventeen day trek now with some public school nonces who cry if they get dirty! Anyway im lovin it and Franks is an idiot 
17/7/2001 13:20 GMT  Franks
Well if that really is Sean than how typical of him to take the p*ss from thousands of miles away! Got the Delhi Belly yet? 
17/7/2001 11:12 GMT  Sean (in India)
Now then. India rules. It is the only third world country where you can call franks an idiot whilst drinking a cold beer in a Delhi internet cafe. The only problem is i keep getting ripped of by stupid traders. Anyway im off on a 18 day trek to cool down from the immense heat. Franks is an idiot! Brooks concurs 
14/6/2001 21:34 GMT  Committee for limitation of excessive repitition
We have heard it before Rooster. 
14/6/2001 21:34 GMT  Committee for linitation of excessive repitition
We have heard it before Rooster. 
8/6/2001 09:26 GMT  Rooster
WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS, WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS Newark Town are now officially the first ever team to win the title before kicking a ball. Tell kev I've got me brush and waiting for me new role. Anyway heres my entry for gazzas comedy club An Australian Ventriliquist went into a farm and the farmer is a Derby fan and is playing with his dog, the ventriliquist says does your dog talk?, the farmer replies no but the ventriliquist ignores him and says to the dog G'day mate how youre doin? the dog replies I'm alright mate how are you? the farmer is shocked The ventriliquist then says to the dog how does youre owner treat you? the dog says fine he looks after me all the time. After a while the ventriliquist asks if he can speak to the farmers horse so the farmer agrees. The ventriliquist asks the horse if hes OK and the horse replies I'm alright how are you? the farmer is once again shocked and the ventriliquist asks him how his owner treats him, the horse replies again fine he's a great master. The ventriliquist asks him if he can speak to his sheep, The farmer replies F**k Off my sheeps noothing but a liar!!! 
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