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2/1/2002 15:44 GMT  Mary Mounting
I bumped into a player of yours new years eve, calling himself "The Count". He asked me if I wanted to inspect some lovely brickwork. Thinking that he was an architect I obliged only to discover he meant inspect the brickwork with my back whilst he tried to give me a knee trembler against the wall and introduce me to Val Dooligan. (V.D.) Half way through (which was about two minutes!) he started moaning someone elses name, I think it was Kay. Happy New Year you bunch of shagwits!! 
2/1/2002 14:30 GMT  Wee John Pooh Pong McPlop
Happy New Year you bunch of Counts! 
31/12/2001 16:17 GMT  Message for Saul the cad
Mr. Simpson, we will be meeting in the hogs head at 5.00pm today. Mke sure you`re there you mincer! 
28/12/2001 16:50 GMT  Baahhhhh
Nothing that a puncture repair kit wouldn`t fix!..when dinger said he was going to fist me, I thought it was going to be loving and sexual not a jab to the drapes!!!How dare he treat me like some piece of mutton!! 
28/12/2001 13:16 GMT  heartbreaking
i would just like to say that i witnessed this act of mindless violence.i would like to think that Dr wild will be giving it a thorough full internal inspection with his love thermometer though.  
27/12/2001 15:45 GMT  A sheep is not just for Christmas!
I can`t believe Dinger burst Imelda by punching her in the quim! I think he was jealous. The tosser. Sorry Clarky but she undergoing treatment and therapy at Wildy`s house. Speaking of therapy, I`m going to have to have a two week intensive therapy course to get over the shocking news of Steps spliting up!!. Aidan. 
27/12/2001 13:43 GMT  donny"s toilet
has just had the pleasure of my stomach lining in it !! 
27/12/2001 11:31 GMT  Arfur Penis
Good boys! Keep up the good work 
27/12/2001 11:30 GMT  I.M.Sore
Saul, I can`t believe I got in that fuc**ng trolley!! My hands and knees are killing me. At least we had a nice bit of carol singing on the way home!. Tid 
27/12/2001 11:20 GMT  mullered
i feel absoluteley wasted tiddles 
21/12/2001 12:14 GMT  Dear Don
There"s no need to take that tone .If you can"t take constuctive criticism i shall take my trade alsewhere you to"ser.P.s i hear the centre back for your football team needs to work on his distribution.Is this true ?? 
21/12/2001 12:05 GMT  Don
Well Mr Tripper, you can stick your bol`locks up your ass!!! 
21/12/2001 09:43 GMT  Dear Don
Your explanation is not acceptable !! Although i appreciate your originality & your catering knowledge,i find it difficult to understand the actual quality of testicle you have.surely in this competitive market you must strive to get the best quality testicles.Perhaps a mr Tidman & Mr Bell would be willing to provide some sustinance for your valued customers.Yours sincrely Aday will be doing some more market research on sunday afternoon) 
20/12/2001 17:24 GMT  Don Elise
Our new range of bar snacks now consist of pickled genitalia and what you had with your packet of crisps the other day was in fact a pickled testicle. We will be happy to give you a refund because obviously you had one that had gone mouldy due to too much bashing against the chins of old haggered women! As you can guess, this testicle was one of Saul`s. May I personaly apologize for this and any desease caused!! 
20/12/2001 16:57 GMT  feeling dodgy
Can anyone help me ? i was visiting Norwich on a shopping trip yesterday & wandered into The Champion Public House for lunch.I was not too impressed with the menu so i just thought i would have a light bite so i decided to have a pickled onion in a packet of crisps.since then i have had an upset stomach & have been taking Andrews Liver Salts since.I would like anyone to give me an explanation please.Yours sincerely Aday Tripper  
20/12/2001 13:08 GMT  Jerfrey Nasty
Sounds delightful. I love a drop of the old drysac. by the way I have looked at the pants in question. I was horrified to find one of simpsons nuts were still in the underpants. Don't worry I have placed the object in question into a small pickling jar and have left it behind the bar at the champion. I just hope they don't accidently sell it! 
19/12/2001 10:09 GMT  Mr Wellhung knackers
Dear Mr Hangswell,would you care to join with a little tipple on sunday.A little sherry by the fire maybe as its xmas  
18/12/2001 17:32 GMT  Mr Hangswell
I`ll only go near them if you give me a welders mask and aspestos proof gloves!!and as they`ve been there for a couple of days now, I`ll need a pneumatic drill to prize them off the floor! 
17/12/2001 22:09 GMT  i can"t believe it
were they still in there? do you mind picking them up for me as they are my favourites 
17/12/2001 17:39 GMT  Harry Hangswell
I awoke this morning with a bit of a sore head. This was the case all morning so to help I thought I`d have a hair of the dog in the Hogs Head. A pint seemed to be doing the trick until I decided to point Percy at porcelain. There I was minding my own with chap in hand when I glanced down to my left only to be stared at by Saul`s slightly soiled, shredded prize winning smalls (I can`t believe they`re still in there, especially with food being served on the premises!!) All thoughts of an ill-free afternoon went out of the window as I soon had a burning sensation in my stomach and was close to chunking. So Mr Simpson, you are not the only one in pain today! (although I would rather feel sick than have my nut sack ripped to shreds!!) 
17/12/2001 15:34 GMT  dear harry
i totally clarify last nights antics. i woke this morning with very sore nackers & it was so sore i had to put some anti inflammatory cream to relieve the pain.this is a serious reply harry,they are absolutely killing me!!!!! 
17/12/2001 12:36 GMT  Harry Hangswell
I must say that on Sunday evening I whitnesed a disturbing crime of humanity. Saul (The Count) Simpson was the victim of this unprovoked and visious attack - I`d call it G.B.H. of the scrotal region!!...........Yes he was given the mother of all wedgies. The main culprit of this cruel act was none other than David Bell. Saul`s prize winning pants were completely destroyed as the rear was pulled up over his head and hung down by his belt and his sore plums. It really was a magical moment!!!Tiddy. 
11/12/2001 10:23 GMT  just remeber
who sends the match report in ??? you lot are obviously all looking for a mention this week !! 
11/12/2001 08:45 GMT  t*sser
You leave little Tiddy alone you silly Count. He's so manly he doesn't need mits. Keep practising your song "Save all your mittens for me...."  
10/12/2001 16:35 GMT  t"sser
tidman!!.you got my vote sunday you count.that was freezing first thing sunday 
10/12/2001 14:52 GMT  Wayne Kerr
Didn't Sauly look cute in his little mittens. If I bought the wool do you think his Mum would Knit me a pair? Is it true that his Mum made him wear them to stop him going blind the t*sser. 
9/12/2001 17:00 GMT  chinese birds
they can"t understand a word. good job really !!! sorry about that clarky 
8/12/2001 11:24 GMT  betty swollocks
i lost 5 hours thursday.i hold you all responsible .the count 
7/12/2001 16:24 GMT  Wayne King
Could all members? who attended the function on Friday evening please report to the clap clinic as soon as possible. In the mean time please do not scratch it. 
7/12/2001 16:02 GMT  Hugh Janas
They don't like it up boys !!! Same again tonight Aiden 
5/12/2001 21:55 GMT  clarky
your jokes are awful.the count 
5/12/2001 17:51 GMT  Gregory Packs-plenty
A couple of new recruits for tomorrows old boys dinner-Bloomfield and Simpson. No doubt that Bloomfield will be raising issues with the foreign chef and Simpson will be trying to mount the lady who allways sits at the bar (she is about 90 years old, so Saul may leave her for an older model!)..............A young lad comes home with a chair under each arm and a settee strapped to his back. His dad goes mad and says "How many times do I have to tell you never accept suites from strangers"!!!! 
5/12/2001 16:00 GMT  fanny crankbottom
5/12/2001 15:57 GMT  Osama Bin laden
A bit of a shot in the dark here boys (pardon the pun!)but I was wondering if your football team was looking for a new mid-fielder. I currently play for Al-qaeda rovers and I`m pretty hot on the wing (especially a boeing`s). The playing surface in Afghanistan are a bit rutted at the moment and there`s a few fire crackers going off around us but I think that`s just down to the enthusiastic locals!! If you lot could get back to me I would appreciate it. And no I will not build a shop every time I get a corner!!!!! Yours, Binny boy Laden. 
5/12/2001 09:02 GMT  Dear Major (ret'd)
Lovely to hear from you old boy! Haven't seen you since the battle of Blue Boar me thinks. Anyway i'm off for lashings of ginger bear and some top scrag! Yours Private S.O. Baldrick 
4/12/2001 13:31 GMT  Major General Blimpington Snout (ret`d)
I must say boys, when your gaffer brought on my old war comrade Dave "quickshot" Wild on Sunday I allmost choked on my soup. Astonishingly though, the old cad has still got that turn of pace (well, over half a yard!!) and he seems to still have his legendary keen eye for could say like an addict looking for his next hit!!!Keep up the good work my friend and hope to see you at the Salvation Army memorial dinner. 
4/12/2001 10:21 GMT  Eva to oneside
Enough talk of motts! 
3/12/2001 19:49 GMT  emma
you are so nice!! maybe we could get together some time .i"m so pleased we have a mutual appreciation of motto.he"s such a great guy isn"t he ?  
3/12/2001 16:54 GMT  emma bloomfield
Is that you Sauly-kins. I'm sure we've met before. I think I fell in love with you from the first moment i saw you. That lovely shiny forehead! ps I hear you now model yourself on John Motson. I've always had a Motson fetish. 
3/12/2001 14:10 GMT  hellooooooooo emma
allow me to introduce myself !! they call me the count(with a silent "o").I don"t believe we"ve meet yet however if you have the same sincerity & geniune qualites as your father i"m sure we"ll get on swimmingly.i"m a great admirer of my good friend"ll have to pop into the pub one sunday ???(p.s any false responses by you tosspots will be treated with the contempt they deserve) 
3/12/2001 13:09 GMT  dear tracey
i love you !!! what do you see in that fanny merchant clarky !! love aidan 
3/12/2001 13:08 GMT  emma Bloomfield
Just been looking through the site.. quite amusing!!!  
3/12/2001 12:21 GMT  Ivor Rash
I wonder if Clarky got it in the neck last night! (both necks in fact) I must say that Keith looked rather fetching in the sheepskin and flat cap last night.....he reminded me of a pikey!! 
30/11/2001 16:55 GMT  got a feeling
this guestbook will have some stories to tell come monday!!! frank butcher (must dash as preparing for a night at hunters) 
30/11/2001 15:55 GMT  Cupid Stunt
Of course you can Clarky. You might wanna scrape them first...then blow torch them. Dinger`s been trying to stretch his trouser serpent just in case the girls take pitty on him. 
30/11/2001 09:10 GMT  aidan
can i borrow your pants you wear for football?? clarky 
29/11/2001 16:26 GMT  Don`t
Forget to wear clean pants girls!......are we all meeting up after work @ 5.30 ish boys? 
29/11/2001 15:13 GMT  who
sent that last one in? there gonna get a slap !! come ere!! 
29/11/2001 15:03 GMT  Cant wait..(tongue twister)
For the siesta of suzzies and snatch, supping, watching Saul on the sticky stage being stuffed up the star!! 
29/11/2001 13:02 GMT  cant wait
for the feast of filthy fillys at the festival of philandering on friday!! ding dong !!! 
28/11/2001 16:47 GMT  Gimpy O'Shaunessey
Love that Simpson!!!! 
28/11/2001 16:02 GMT  Anon
Can`t wait for my specialy adapted woman to be there. If not i`ll have to muscle in on the fat bird with greg and dinger!!.... Saul. 
28/11/2001 14:39 GMT  dear halotta
can"t wait to see you again on friday aidan 
28/11/2001 11:38 GMT  Joey Deakon
Why doesn`t Michael Barrymore have any ashtrays in his house?..............................................Because he puts his fags out in the pool!! 
28/11/2001 11:37 GMT  stand up
you boys aren"t going to hunters squash club friday are you? i have a show to do with my girls there! frank butcher vice president champion athletic f.c 
28/11/2001 09:42 GMT  joey
yeah she loved it !!!! 
28/11/2001 09:27 GMT  Halotta Vagina
Looking forward to seeing you boys on Friday night. I'm especially looking forward to the one they call the Count. He can burn my cod fillets to a cinder any day! I hear little Tiddy has a problem with his neck. That such a shame, I was looking forward to greasing it. xxxx 
27/11/2001 17:32 GMT  Joey Deakon
Did she get the gush Saul? 
27/11/2001 13:15 GMT  dear joey
f**k off  
27/11/2001 11:55 GMT  Me again
Call yourself Champion Athletic thats a laugh! More like Beer Bellied Bloaters if you ask me. The Queen Mother has a quicker turn of speed then you t*ssers. Mind tou I have heard that Tidnam is a bit of a fast mover 
27/11/2001 09:18 GMT  Joey Deakon
Sauly stumbles across a brothel whilst out walking. Realizing he`s only got 15 quid on him he tries his luck. After stating his financial situation the madam on the front desk points Saul to room 5. Off he trots to the room, opens the door and sees her spread eagle on the bed. Not wasting any time Sauly kicks off his brogues, jumps on top of her and gets to work. After 10 mins of Saul`s ass going like a fiddlers elbow she spits in his eye. With this he gets up and runs down stairs to the madam on the front desk and explains angrily that his shag in room 5 had spat in his eye. She calmly turns to two dodgy looking blokes who are playing cards and says "the corpse in room 5 is full again boys"!! 
27/11/2001 08:45 GMT  Claude Balls
I can understand the Count being upset at being subbed on Sunday. It was a terrible decision all 11 should have been taken off. Tidnam had the best game and he wasn't even playing because he didn't swallow his viagra quick enough! 
26/11/2001 10:52 GMT  Dear Mr McHunt
Whats this i hear about the gaffer substituting the count on sunday.The report on saturday will be carefully looking forward to friday report u 
26/11/2001 09:39 GMT  Phill Mc Hunt
Call yourselves a football team, I`ve seen better foot work and agility on the pensioners at the day care centre. Looking forward to Friday night boys. I hear they`re bringing a special woman with them to cater for Greg and Clarky!! 
23/11/2001 16:36 GMT  Now listen here!
Your boys as you call them are nothing more than rascals who are capable of anything. They frequently behave in bounderish fashion and shag fat people! 
23/11/2001 16:10 GMT  Manager at Delaney's
My boys are always well behaved. How dare you accuse them of such things. Sir you are a pilchard and your horse is ugly! 
23/11/2001 14:01 GMT  Seymore Crevice
Mounted Police! Too much homosequality nowadays! 
23/11/2001 13:14 GMT  Bin Laden
See you in the pub sunday - do you want me to sort out that supporter for you ? 
23/11/2001 13:01 GMT  Dixon of Dock Green
Following the disturbance at last weeks game, I can confirm that Norfolk Police will be providing mounted officers for Sunday's game, we will also have a number of plain clothed officers in the crowd, ready to deal with any trouble makers. In my day people used to go to the football to watch the game. 
22/11/2001 20:14 GMT  dear manager at delanys
If you"ve got a problem with my behaviour i"m more than willing to come in your pub & trash the f***ing optics !!aidan tidman eade rd norwich always found in the hogs head at lunchtime & the champion on sunday dinnertime also  
22/11/2001 17:27 GMT  Manager at Delaneys
I was appauled at Saul`s behaviour on Sunday night. Not only did he want to ruin the evening by singing "Tie a yellow ribbon" but when we refused he broke the karioke machine by throwing a rubber doll at an un-suspecting partygoer, knocking her glass out of her hand and on to the monitor. As well as this, Dave Bell was wearing the same clothes he`d had on for three days, Aidan pulled one of my barmaids (who incidently is rather tasty!) and Keith ended up going round some 45 year old 20 stone wenches house only to have her 22 year old son walk in mid mount! I also have reports of Saul and Aidan starting a fight with someone trying to steal donations left in the doorway of oxfam on Magdelen st. And to top it off the pair of them didn`t turn up for work the following morning. And presumably Dave made his mum cook his tea at 1 in the morning!!! 
22/11/2001 16:41 GMT  Ivor Bollickoff
Call this a guestbook. Its a boll**ks board if you ask me and I should know 
22/11/2001 16:02 GMT  Dear Anon.
We were looking for Bloomfield, his curfew starts at 6pm and the old bill were looking for him. The fugitive. 
22/11/2001 15:24 GMT  dear gideon
YES! what the bloody hell were tidman clark & bell doing there though??.anon  
22/11/2001 14:38 GMT  Gideon Felcher
Is it true your Mr Bloomfield got into a ruck at an under 12's disco Tuesday night. Damn fellow! 
22/11/2001 08:47 GMT  Dear Man at Rec.
Although we will have a full and fair trial on Sunday, perhaps it would be sensible if brought along your gimp mask and sturdy cane. I believe the outcome is obvious. ps. nipple clamps are also welcome. 
21/11/2001 10:45 GMT  dear mr mcPullback
Thank you for your recent reply I have informed my chicken plucking son in law who has advised me that he will be attending the hearing in a sentencing capacity(p s i also feel it only fair to say that he once appeared in the films "Deliverance & Pulp fiction")his roles i am unaware of !!!!!!! 
21/11/2001 08:59 GMT  Angus McPullback M.B.E Champion Athletic Chairman
I am sorry and appauled to hear of the shameful and quite frankly disgraceful scenes witnessed at Acle Rec. It is a matter that we have decided to take very seriously indeed. The gentleman in question will be subjected to a full club enquiry during the forthvoming AGM (Champion Public House 1.15pm) 
20/11/2001 15:53 GMT  walking the dog
whilst walking my dog with my 7 year old grandson on sunday morning over acle rec i witnessed an appauling i grown man i personally overcame the shamefull sight.however my 7 year old grandson was subjected to an onslaught of foul & abusive language directed at the match official.when dropping him off at his mothers later that day he suddenly burst into tears & was shaking like a leaf.although his mother was in a counselling mood his father was less pleased.has this dreadfull act got anything to do with any officail of the champion athletic football club as an angry father who happens to pluck chickens for a living would like to know.i await a reply asap 
20/11/2001 14:12 GMT  Man in Black
This is a very serious matter, and should not be taken lightly. I suggest a disciplinary hearing at the Champion PH at 1.15pm this sunday. 
20/11/2001 08:47 GMT  A Hitler
Hope you're a Christian old boy can't stand f****ng JEWS! 
19/11/2001 13:48 GMT  SILVER FOX
19/11/2001 09:30 GMT  A. Hitler
Like your style Bloomfield old boy. Keep up the good work!! 
19/11/2001 09:27 GMT  Sprowston Lads Under 13's
Would your Mr Bloomfield be interested in taking up position of the under 13's coach. We understand he is now baned from all professional and amatuer men's football. We have checked with the F.A. who have confirmed he can participate in youth and womens football. We need some one with high moral standards to develop our youth players. 
14/11/2001 16:46 GMT  Serious message
Saul, I saw this bloke today and he rekons he knows you from football in the past. Can wants to meet up sometime so can you give him a call on his work`s no. 09067827418.......good boy 
14/11/2001 10:28 GMT  I. Seymore-Plumms
He can certainly hit my back post any day 
13/11/2001 14:08 GMT  Bindhi Ghupta
I had a visit from four rather intoxicated youths in my restaurant on Sunday night, three of which I believe play for your club. Their behaviour was by no means angelic as they were throwing dried peas, cashew nuts and towels at each other and anyone sitting in range of them! The bald one was abusive to the foreign lady on the table next to them, the long haired one stole a table cloth and the well dressed one (who obviously looks like a reliable center-back who`d been treated harshly recently) stole one of our cobra beer glasses. They then proceeded to fight outside after the meal, whipping each other with the said table cloth making no attempt to hide their act of theft. I expect a formal appoligy from the chairman of the club and compensation. Yours, B. Ghupta p.s. I hope you all got the sh1ts!! 
13/11/2001 11:37 GMT  mr plumms
he certainly flicks his balls a long way,he gets them right into the box!!!!!!! 
13/11/2001 08:28 GMT  I Seymore-Plumms
Steve Darling with your wrist action you can always come! 
12/11/2001 13:36 GMT  mr plumms
can i come along to!!steve clarke(tosser) 
9/11/2001 11:39 GMT  Seymore Plumms
Oh Aidan you're so brave coming out of the closet and to do it on the net for all the world to see! See you at the Loft tonight luvvy. Bring that nice rugged CoUNT with you he's so butch. 
9/11/2001 11:01 GMT  Eva Vestof
Hasn't Steve "Show us your Logo" Clarke got a magnificent throw. Is it true how he developed the wrist action? 
8/11/2001 17:38 GMT  Dear Mr O`Reilly
8/11/2001 13:16 GMT  Dear Mr O"Reilly
i was disappointed to hear your recent comments made regarding myself & saul.although i may be of that persuasion myself there is no need to tarnish everyone with the same brush.i found your comments hurtful & upsetting & i also clear sauls name from any untoward activity .ps although saul is a nice lad i would not do anything to harm my relationship with the gaffer.yours sincerely aidan tidman (life long servant,most capped player) 
8/11/2001 11:22 GMT  Pervy O'Reilly
Is something going on between Aidan and Saul. I hear Saul took him back to his penthouse suite to show off his puppies and bucks fizz LP's. Good Bouys!!! 
6/11/2001 17:25 GMT  You dirty ol` man
Good boy!!.....let me borrow them after you! It was good to see Greg`s anal friend on Saturday night. She`d be alright if she lost 3 each cheek!! And as for her tall mate who Jimmy was sniffing around, lets just say her face wasn`t the looked as if she`d been bobbing for apples in a chip pan!!!!! 
5/11/2001 19:37 GMT  ivor soreknob
the vids made my night later old boy 
5/11/2001 17:32 GMT  Well, I say!
Nice slap-up meal last night hey Saul?!!...I think the sherry topped the evening off old boy. How was your liquid supper in the Queen`s? rather scrumptious I hope dear scamp! 
5/11/2001 14:54 GMT  harsh words
theres no need to take that tone !! p.s anyone interested in buying a car stereo???  
2/11/2001 17:19 GMT  How rude!
Sauly pulled his finger out last Sunday..........but that was later in the evening!! 
2/11/2001 14:11 GMT  GAFFERS ASSISTANT
31/10/2001 14:32 GMT  dear frank
your comments are taken on board it will not happen again (i feel when you speak to the gaffer your words of wisdom will be duly noted!!!!)  
30/10/2001 17:35 GMT  Frank Butcher
Allo you bunch of pilchards! Whats this I ere you boyz lost to the Taverham scum? You lot ad betta buck your Britney Spears up if you want me to sponsor your sheepskin training tops next season. Especialy if you keep your best player on the bench again!!....Me and the gaffer are gona av words!!!! 
30/10/2001 16:37 GMT  Sauly couldn`t get enough!
She still had munk between her toes from her last gent.........that was in 1932!!..Next on Saul`s hit list is the old dear who sits in the corner. She sleeps a lot so he`d be able to have a try without waking her! 
30/10/2001 11:03 GMT  thats disgusting
whats this i hear 80 yr old"s have been having there toes sucked in the local hostilery!!!! 
26/10/2001 15:55 GMT  thats terrible
my thoughts go out to this guy!!!that must have been some people can behave like this is beyond me!!i would like to think no one in the football team would behave like this!!!!anon 
26/10/2001 14:27 GMT  Dodgy Ken
We had a rather angry client visit us today. Not only did his business go tits up, his car was stolen and to top it all....he fell through his skylight whilst catching his missus shagging a man with very short hair, so short could call him bald!!....does anyone know of such bounderish behavior?! 
23/10/2001 10:14 GMT  the gaffer
says there"s gonna be some changes this week!!!! i agree GET CLARK OUT!!!! aidan tidman(most capped player)(life long servant) 
20/10/2001 13:19 GMT  dear tracey
i love you !!!i"ll even miss watching norwich for you!!!  
16/10/2001 16:26 GMT  TO RIGHT HE`S GOTTA GO
I`ve been with the club as man and boy i say man and boy! All Clarky`s suited for is managing a blow football team...don`t worry boys, the banners are on their way! 
16/10/2001 13:29 GMT  he"s gotta go
16/10/2001 11:03 GMT  I`M NOT HAPPY
WE WANT CLARKEY OUT SAY WE WANT CLARKEY OUT!....What a disgrace....the gaffer`s got to go. 
16/10/2001 10:38 GMT  keep up the good work
good to see my prodigy is flying the flag!!!doctor beer will give you another prescription for friday 
15/10/2001 16:35 GMT  Ivor sorehead
16 hour drinking sesion! not bad hey?...rolled out of the Hogs head at 8.30 this morning. Felt like sh1t all day and cocked everything I did up. A bit like a normal working day for Saul!!!!!!GOOD BOOOOYYYYYYYYY!!!!! 
15/10/2001 14:09 GMT  stop out
whats this i hear aidan slept overnight in the hog"s head??? good booooooyyyyyyy!!!!!! 
11/10/2001 10:58 GMT  dear onya
we must have misssed each other, onya!! maybe another time you lovely little creature p.s (lets keep this our little secret honybunch) 
11/10/2001 07:17 GMT  Ivor Grazeonmebollock
Good boooyyy!! 
10/10/2001 10:48 GMT  come "ere
she sung splendidly in the evening i thought!!! i loved her deep husky voice come "ere!!!!! 
9/10/2001 07:47 GMT  Scaramanga
Well hello......what a lovely day out it was on Thursday my dear chaps. As for Saul,well he`s a disgrace trying to pull that big mama prostitute, who incidently sang for us in the pub later that night....what a soothing deep voice she has!!!  
3/10/2001 16:35 GMT  Onya Bakubitch...(Russian prostitute!)
I was hoping to see Saul on Sunday nite at the riverside complex. Imagine my disapointment when you didn`t show up, especially when I had my sister with me, she`s a retired shotputer-just how you like them! 
3/10/2001 14:30 GMT  dear ivor
if the bark of an oak tree is subjected to acid rain it tends to flake!!! keep up the good work!! 
2/10/2001 16:31 GMT  Ivor Crabor.two
I had something round my old oak tree on Saturday night! It certainly wasn`t a yellow ribon!.....might have to make a visit to the clinic soon. 
2/10/2001 15:14 GMT  did you know
john mccririck co- wrote "tie a yellow ribbon" 
2/10/2001 14:11 GMT  Ivor Shaggedabiggun
No Saul you can`t. But you can borrow my nice black shirt with the cement stains on it.(sounds a bit too much like seamen stains!!) I think you should were you nice brown brogues and not forgetting your sheepskin `cause you never know what celebs will be there old boy! 
2/10/2001 11:21 GMT  Saul Simpson
Aiden, can I borrow you sparkly blouse for Thursday. I have absolutely nothing to wear. And as for for shoes!! 
2/10/2001 09:35 GMT  Nice piece of ass
She may well be coming on Thursday(not in that sence). You can`t have her though she`s spoken for! We`ll find you a nice one for you with a C`UNT like a horses collar! or maybe one that looks like John Mcririck! 
1/10/2001 15:18 GMT  i SAYYYY
1/10/2001 10:48 GMT  Terry Thomas
I say...what a lovely diamond sweater you have on...ding dong 
1/10/2001 08:53 GMT  Frank Butcher
Dear Saul,nice goal on Sunday my son. I bet you`re wondering how I know..?..Well I sent my less succesful Brother to the Champion after the game and he rekons you were all in good spirits singing nicely in tune songs,although he did say you were taking the p1ss out of some of the locals and the vintage bintage!!..Now hopefully that useless CoUNT of a gaffer will see your true worth........and drop ya! 
28/9/2001 14:34 GMT  dear frank
any chance of bunging in yer flat cap as well!! p.s sparrow suckin makes them gush!!  
28/9/2001 13:38 GMT  Frank Butcher
Dear Saul, With regard to your interest in my lovely little Yugo, you can `av her for FIVE GRAND! no can do with the jumper me ol` mucka but i can throw in some tasty shades just like mine,wink,wink say no more!! 
28/9/2001 13:19 GMT  Dear Deirdre
I`m 26 and work in conveyancing. My problem is that i`m turning to bestiality. I`ve already been cautioned by the police for stalking pigeons in the close and i have a tendency for shaving monkeys. Also,i would like to try sparrow sucking!! Yours, SC Norwich. 
28/9/2001 09:53 GMT  dear arfur
let me go up the fruit shop first i need some oranges!! 
27/9/2001 15:02 GMT  Dear Deirdre
I am a 25 year old centre back who works for a solicitors firm in Holland Court, Norwich. Just lately I have started having feelings for the boys in my Sunday side. Some mornings I just sit there watching them change. Its even more fun after the game when they are all dirty and sweaty. Am I normal? Yours ? 
27/9/2001 14:59 GMT  Sir Elton John
Is it true Aiden's a Batty Boy. Hope so, I want to smother his genitals in pepper and sneeze all over them. 
27/9/2001 14:57 GMT  Arfur Gimp
Saul, will you please come home and let me out of your basement. This mask is playing havoc with my complexion. 
27/9/2001 14:55 GMT  Frank Butcher
27/9/2001 10:36 GMT  dear frank
i"m interested in the yugo on your forcourt?? i"ll go up to £5,500 p.s can you bung in the diamond jumper? 
27/9/2001 08:29 GMT  Frank Butcher
FIVE GRAND!! What d`ya think i am...some kind`a pilchard?! 
26/9/2001 14:19 GMT  A Welsh CoUNT
24/9/2001 10:59 GMT  WIGGY
23/9/2001 20:24 GMT  Bin Laden
See you on Sunday boys. I've decided t assist you. Shotguns for the defence. 
20/9/2001 16:39 GMT  Ivor nutherwhartonmenob
Striking profile of the team chaps. I feel finchy`s needs up-dating and i`m sure you can find a better one of Tiddy. Good to see Kex looking so fresh faced, all of that munching has done the boy good! As for the follow through king Clarky, now he is very chimp like..or is it gimp like! And Sauly, well he`s just a CoUNT!!! 
16/9/2001 15:59 GMT  pans people
could the guy with no hair please ring me?  
14/9/2001 14:31 GMT  None of your business
y o y o spells yoyo 
11/9/2001 21:29 GMT  Razzle Editor
I would like to offer your Mr Tidnam the chance to star in next months readers wives section. Theres £200 on offer if we show his pictures. 
11/9/2001 21:25 GMT  Pemberton Smallbrook
Its about time the CoUNT got a chance to shine in the starting lineup. Whatever is wrong with the gaffer, can he not see this mans obvious qualities? 
11/9/2001 11:25 GMT  Ivor Whartonmenob
Cheer up Sauly you CoUNT, the gaffer always said that you were a FRINGE player!! (sorry, not refering to your lack of hair!) 
30/8/2001 20:51 GMT  the count
i believe this man will get player of the season this year ps i love his hair 
29/8/2001 12:47 GMT  Colin Hunt
Could you please, please ask Aiden to return my industrial sized KY jelly. I have washed his gimp mask and would be grateful if he would collect it. ps my bruising has gone down now and would like to see Aiden again. 
15/8/2001 21:52 GMT  Ivor Sorend
Could you please fix it for me to meet with that hunk Aidan. THose gold teeth get me reaching for the kleenex. Oh.... 
10/8/2001 14:29 GMT  Mike Hunt
Steve, that red shirt you were wearing whilst playing for the Saturday team showed that you are a fine figure of a man!! 
24/5/2001 07:27 GMT  Bindi Ghupta
Do you play cricket? 
31/3/2001 08:39 GMT  A. Nul-examination
Message for Steven Clarke. We`ve just had a delivery of those gravity fed enema kits you enquired about. Buy now and we`ll throw in an expanding and vibrating rubber fist(feels like the real thing!)....just..£15.95. 
11/3/2001 21:29 GMT  Count Barrington the 4th (twice removed)
Get me down from the f**king shelf. 
10/2/2001 15:18 GMT  Hunk Lover
Do you think Aiden would pose nude for a amateur calender i am producing. I am told he had a nice package.... 
6/2/2001 15:02 GMT  King George II
Not enough umph in you boys. You are having a dire season. Where is your spirit. 
6/12/2000 16:32 GMT  Charlie's Angels
Oohhh I don't think much of that David Bell but David Wild certainly lives up to his name!!!! As for Aidan, we always said he couldn't stand on his own two feet! Godd effort though lads. Bye 
18/11/2000 19:40 GMT  Albert Chuffweisell
18/11/2000 19:38 GMT  A. Nother. Gimp
Could Steve please let me have my special blouse and sports bra back. Thankyou. Oh and don`t forget my waders!! 
15/11/2000 22:59 GMT  A. Gimp
Tiddy Baby you've gone to work and left me hanging from the rafters! Come home and let me down! 
13/11/2000 17:51 GMT  eric pretty
I was deeply upset when your Mr Tidnam (Aidan) failed to show at our meeting place last friday. All my preparations were wasted. Please call me, like you said you would! Yours Expectantly!!  
9/11/2000 18:43 GMT  Gideon Gorganzola
Hello girlies 
6/11/2000 12:25 GMT  Gay Gordon
I met Aidan Friday night at the loft and he really is as handsome as his picture would suggest. Gordon xx 
27/10/2000 16:05 GMT  Giles Her-maphradite.m.b.e
Ohh!! I like the look of that bloke who looks like Tyrone!!!! He can grease me up any day!! 
16/10/2000 07:52 GMT  Aidan Tidnam
Saul obviously had his picture taken whilst on remand!! 
13/10/2000 13:17 GMT  Mark Farr
Nice pictures.....that reminds me - why did they stop doing 'Ugly Bloke' on TFI Friday?? 
13/10/2000 13:07 GMT  Aidan Tidnam
Pants!! Not enough detail about my superb goal last season.  
12/10/2000 21:35 GMT  dave farr
pretty good.......but where is the supporters page 
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