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28/4/2002 16:12 GMT  sandy
Tryed your best boys just not our day and to think i missed out on a free dinner and free DRINK to see that. I'm verry dissapointed 
26/4/2002 00:18 GMT  Stans Homosexual Flat Mate
I can verify that stan is in yip top condition at this important time in the season, I've seen to it myself. One thing I can promise though is that come the league decider promition will equate to a close shave for the fat, mouthy manager. Bob you are a fat. Cookie two more and you're even. Big Mills cheers for the wine... 
25/4/2002 11:27 GMT  Simon Hammond
Greetings from Wigan. Tonights the big night and lets hope the bruce can get the win they need. good luck boys I'll be checking the result tonight. 
25/4/2002 11:25 GMT  Homer
Thursday night 6.15 and Im going to drink MORE than i,ve ever DRUNK and I,m goint to get DRUNKER than i,ve ever been DRUNKEN???????? Anyway dam good luck 2nite see ya 
24/4/2002 21:48 GMT  stan
sorry cant be there but all the very best. may the force be with you see on sunday ya fannies. mills ill bring your wine. sampson ill leave my boots. at least two of you will be happy. bob your FAT. COOKY YOUR PISH YER GOAL WAS A FLUKE YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE DEFENDING A CROSS. ANDY YOU SHOULD BE BEHIND BARS AFTER THAT PERFORMANCE AT CARLUKE. KEV I WOULD HAVE SCORED THAT PENALTY AN IM PISH. 
24/4/2002 13:22 GMT  Conan The Librarian
I hear old CJ will be behind "the green door"in "this old house after this weekend's hoped for celebrations. Who knows he might even go on Stars In Your Eyes WITH Corbett in a Corbett/Shakin Stevens double act. Come to think of it Corbett also looks like the oldcrooner Harry Nilsson.  
24/4/2002 00:34 GMT  hafc
just come across this site. All the best in the remaining games. hopefully you will do well and get the success your squad deserves. 
23/4/2002 11:12 GMT  Gartcairn Utd
Ah Bruce boys, you seem to be on the verge of the big smoke just as we are losing our bottle in the title run in. 5 points dropped in our last 2 games have put us in danger of missing out. We have made the Divisional (Mickey Moose) cup semis right enough. So If you see any Castlehill/Carstairs/Woodhead Th players on your travels feel free to injure them at will. 
22/4/2002 11:57 GMT  martin
did we get the points from shawview? 
18/4/2002 12:11 GMT  lionheart
good luck in the cup tonight...!!! 
17/4/2002 22:18 GMT  cags
go on the bruce 
17/4/2002 16:22 GMT  martin
music to my ears - away the championies...!!! 
16/4/2002 12:09 GMT  lionheart
my thoughts exactly 
15/4/2002 12:07 GMT  martin
well done the lads...and good luck against shawview on thursday. 
15/4/2002 07:39 GMT  sandy (nae cans)
viv la bruce. its about time the bruce seen some silverware see yall thursday (hopfully with cans)  
14/4/2002 19:01 GMT  Hamish
Come and view the best intheteam site @ www.intheteam/wemyssunited 
13/4/2002 10:29 GMT  Mr Squib Bib
HELP!! i've been stuck in this smelly bag for a year now and to make matters worse cj's jock strap is touching me up! 
11/4/2002 14:27 GMT  Conan The Librarian
Excellent result against the Orb(no little fluffy clouds)especially considering guys like wee Mark,Captain Andy,Karaoke John & old CJ hadn't played for 2-3 months. Last season we would have lost the game but a determination to win for what was almost a whole team of unavailable players shone through. Word reaches us on the grapevine that El Corbetto passed a fitness test by playing on the Play station for 7 hours on Wednesday evening/Thursday morning. Bring on the Hillhouse jacques says fat Hattie. 
10/4/2002 21:45 GMT  big mills
sampras i've done my heel in (picked up last monday at the jock stein) and only managed to aggrevate it again on monday there, so i'll keep you posted on its progress.....nothing a bottle of wine or two shouldnt sort oot!! 
8/4/2002 16:18 GMT  martin
Congratulations from london..!!!{:-) 
7/4/2002 21:15 GMT  The Obermeister
Fine victory today, troops. We were absolutely reduced to the bare bones so to come away with three points is fantastic. Vive le Bruce! 
3/4/2002 11:54 GMT  lorraine kelly
i was just looking for some pictures of hunky non-professional football players, (preferably under 18,) when i came across your poll. left a stain i did. obviously i voted yes but was distraught to find the votes are neck & neck. oohh another quiver. cum on guys i'm great in bed you know...!!! vote yes...yes...yeeessss...!!! 
28/3/2002 21:04 GMT  jc
this is for number 5. Got u some nice green and white gear ready to go ,o i got ur top printed with the ticks on the back hope thats ok  
24/3/2002 13:30 GMT  The Number 5
consider it done j.c plumbing & heating from caroline crescent, when can we expect to see our new strips? 
23/3/2002 01:27 GMT  Carlton Banks
What is the bruce??? I am a horse rancher located in Texas U.S.A. and have never heard of your team. Are you in the English league? Will I be able to see you on cable? 
21/3/2002 20:31 GMT  J/C
message for cookie.tell him that his wee games at work r sh.t and to pay more attention to j/c prices if he wants better gear next season ha ha 
18/3/2002 17:20 GMT  lionheart
You can join the RAC now from as little as £39. (Terms and conditions apply) 
15/3/2002 12:37 GMT  sandy
get well soon sooty. Allan what is your e-mail address you seem elusive recently. 
13/3/2002 12:56 GMT  martin
get well soon sooty. 
12/3/2002 20:55 GMT  Sampson
I've just phoned his mother (steady boys!) and discovered he is now out of hospital. I'm going to see him tomorrow. 
12/3/2002 19:16 GMT  CJ
Here's hoping wee Sooty recovers from his 6 week stay in hospital.All team members should go to visit him in ward 9 at Monklands. 
6/3/2002 22:53 GMT  Davie McCaig
Cheeky anonymous Bastard we'll see. ALAN SAMPSON if there is a game on Sunday I cannae make it as I am working at the Huns v Tims game but I'm sure you can miss the services of one of the Twin Towers at the back. 
5/3/2002 18:09 GMT  anomyous
Who seriously thinks Kevin McCaig will finish the season as top goalscorer? More chance of Davie McCaig winning it. 
3/3/2002 18:14 GMT  "Number 5"
A big hello to all the bruce stars & followers out there,your famous "no 5" is now online. 
25/2/2002 15:12 GMT  lionheart
After 3 days deliberation and exhaustive reasearch, the answer is simple...mibby's aye, mibby's naw, mibb's mibby. 
22/2/2002 19:07 GMT  Nearly 35(grey hairs & counting)CJ
I nearly fainted upon opening the Hammy Ad to see a picture of wee Sooty in the birthday column. He looks nearly as young as me.Even worse,A leisurely stroll about Glasgow yesterday brought two incidents to my attention.Firstly,old Sampras himself(team obermeister)was obviously off on the Patrick & Michael as he was carelessly walking with gay abandon in Sauchiehall Street. In fact,the sight of the great one shocked me more than the 4-500 Fyenoord fans kicking the Forfar out of Strathclyde's finest in Buchanan Street. It wouldn't have happened if the enforcer PC McCaig had been in evidence. Finally,a thought for Lionheart himself.Is there a connection between God fearing Stuart Darling's many trips to Bilbao and his links with the ETA led Ned Flander's Satanic army? 
22/2/2002 14:24 GMT  lionheart
as an 'in the team watcher', you should have known that you can write Bawbag without the need for asterix's. 
21/2/2002 17:31 GMT  in the team watcher
Congratulations lionheart you have proved me correct. You are a B**bag. 
20/2/2002 17:45 GMT  lionheart
we all are about to experience a natural phenomenon which will NEVER happen again...!!! at 8.02pm tonight date and time will read in perfect symmetry;- 20:02, 20/02, 2002. the last time this happened was at:- 10.01, 10/01, 1001. more than 1 thousand years ago and because the 24hr clock only reaches 23.59, it is something that cannot ever happen again...!!! 
20/2/2002 13:16 GMT  martin
well done lads...these results are making even london bareable...!!!  
19/2/2002 21:25 GMT  Rob De Banque
Well What another fine performance against the BUNKERNUTS of The Carousel. It looks like the Mighty Bruce are heading for The Premier Division. I must admit the Bruce defence is the Strongest and most Solid I have ever seen with Cookie, Cuby and that Big Davie soaking up every single attack all the other drivel throw at them. CHAMPIONEES CHAMPIONEES are we are we are we. 
18/2/2002 14:12 GMT  R Sole
Sooty, any chance of a loan of yer braces? a canny get a decent picture on ma telly. 
16/2/2002 17:38 GMT  Rodney u dipstick
Well 'Millzy' u might be the fastest satellite man in the wild west but u must be the slowest footballer in the northern hemisphere. 
15/2/2002 19:09 GMT  millzy
I'm the fastest satellite man in the wild west 
12/2/2002 18:12 GMT  cj's ailments
Message to Sampras & the Cookmeister(copyright).Phone me as regards to what is happening for Paris,ie transport SFA Travel Club tickets etc. Otherwise,I will have to go somewhere with the missus as she is off that week. Just as well the game was off on Sunday as wee Sooty was injured(still is as far as I am aware). On the subject of wee Sooty,did anyone catch the Hibs fan on Offside(they can't get the quality of guests they used to showcase)who was the double of the wee man? Finally,if you can get the strips you are after a way to raise money would be to advertise the oldish strips for sale on say the Sunday football site or in the Thursday or Sunday Evening Times. 
7/2/2002 22:14 GMT  Cookies Agent
Cookie would like to make the following statement in relation to the recent speculation that his new born child looks like Jimmy Hunter...... " Diz it f*&k ya bawbag" that concludes the statement on behalf of the mighty Cookie. 
5/2/2002 16:05 GMT  yer da
Three cheers for Cookie and his newborn wean.But the big question everyone is asking......does it look like Jimmy Hunter?ha ha ha  
5/2/2002 13:10 GMT  Simon Hammond (Wigan Bruce fan)
Have been following the bruce for a couple of seasons now loks like you might get upthis year. good luck and keep winning for you're Wigan fan club.  
3/2/2002 19:29 GMT  lionheart
well well well...!!! teams are just too scared to play against the mighty bruce these days. finally some silverware is within our grasp.... 
31/1/2002 19:10 GMT  Rodney you saucy mare!!!!
big mils was trying to get to sleep.....he tried counting how many touches of the ball he had last week at the jock stein but you dont have much chance of falling asleep after 2. 
28/1/2002 16:33 GMT  corbett
what a team.North Motherwell can suck my balls.Well played lads.......One last thing.....what about my meg...fantastic or what? 
27/1/2002 17:09 GMT  secret supporter
Well played the Bruce against North Motherwell. A fine victory, keeping alive championship hopes. Away the lads. 
25/1/2002 20:13 GMT  Rob De Banque
As Spunkbuckets agent I would like to issue the following statement on behalf of my client......" I take everything back I said about CJ being pish. He is in fact one of the most talented players I have ever seen. I would also like to say that my source for the exclusive was an untried source and will not be relied upon again in future for smutty information. I Mr Spunkbucket would like to apologise for my remarks and hope that no offence was caused to any person" LIONHEART ..... you talk a lot of pish!!!!! Robert Burns my arse. There is only room for one ROB on this website and that is me ROB DE BANQUE. Thank you 
24/1/2002 18:00 GMT  You Tart
Big Mils had an improved performance on monday night......he touched the ball(i think). 
15/1/2002 19:43 GMT  Frodo the Fukpig
Probably, but his case presumably wasn't helped by the fact that he didn't turn up until midway through the first half! 
15/1/2002 18:09 GMT  Retired old Hack
Old cj was moaning at the Jock Stein last night about not being in the starting line up-especially when Kev & some new guy were not there. Judging by some of his performances this season he has a fair case, although I suspect head honcho Sampson was scared he would suffer another of his career threatening injuries against the cynical Carousel no talents. 
11/1/2002 17:58 GMT  solomon danso
Up the bruce!!!. Greetings from the Gambia. I will play for your team when I come to scotland. Kev McCaig is the best player in the team so says his mum. I play in the forward line and the defence line. Good Luck this sunday. solomon. 
6/1/2002 01:15 GMT  ryan o'donnell
stan s the best footballer iv ever seen you are lucky to have him all the best for the rest of the season he can jump like feck 
4/1/2002 15:01 GMT  Gartcairn Administrator
Nice to see you all doing so well. I heard that North Motherwell were a good team but it looks as if you have them well within your sites. Good luck in the tough winter schedule. BTW what paper are the leagues printed in? I can't get an update for div 2 anywhere. Cheers 
21/12/2001 15:22 GMT  cj
Good report on the Ballerup game in the EK News this week.Ihave a copy if you want to put the report on the site. Boab Shields pulled a hamstring against the Devanney,s select on Thurs 20/12/01.Myself and wee Sooty blew our top as we were defeated by them for the first time in a year. It didn't help that Big Davie,Corbett & Cookie couldn't play. Ishall be wanting a strong team for next T hurs 27/12/01.Anyone wanting a game contact me at the den of iniquity,Almada Grove. Find out if Cookie will be alright for this date as they were extracting the Michael about winning.Funny how they could not defeat us when we only had 6 men the previous game. I was that short of players that I gave Helmet-the Budweiser Pro Wrestling Spandex wearing Mr Spock lookalike a game.He only played because my man in charge of distribution on the oil rigs was playing.Needless to say they were not up to the satandards of our normal team. 
15/12/2001 02:32 GMT  stan the pertherite
sampson switch yer mobile on im pished. bring on the ballerup im back 
14/12/2001 13:32 GMT  martin
why do hippos have sex under water...? have you ever tried keeping a 2 ton cliterus moist...!!!? 
7/12/2001 00:49 GMT  Tatty
ony chance o' a gemme at Christmas, Sampras? 
26/11/2001 21:41 GMT  David Lees
alright lads how are you coping without me? That is the ugliest lot of photographs i have ever seen in my life!! Hope you are winning every game, be up soon-David 
14/11/2001 11:50 GMT  Ian Wright
Just found this website and came across your team. Where do you find them? Keep up the website. p.s. who is lionheart???? Ian 
3/11/2001 17:47 GMT  Bruce Puchanski
Hello there, as you can see my name is Bruce and I am from Queensland ,Western Australia.I happended to be surfing the web when I noticed a team in Scotland called The Bruce AFC.I have really come to enjoy looking at your web site as I am also interested in Soccer my favourite team being Paramata Panthers. Anyway you must keep up the Newspage so I can find out how you guys are doing in your quest to win the league. Take care Bruce Puchanski. P.S Who is Matthew Corbett  
18/10/2001 12:07 GMT  martin kerr
When i was younger i used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then i realised that the Lord doesn't work that way - so i stole one and asked Him to forgive me...!!! 
16/10/2001 17:26 GMT  cj pornmeister
Now that Helmet has discovered dvd porn,I am thinking of buying shares in all dvd companies as demand will soon outstrip supply. 
5/10/2001 15:10 GMT  corbett
they orange strips better no clash wi ma dome! 
16/9/2001 21:43 GMT  Kylie Minogue
Once again Alan Sampson has worked miracles with limited resources. The Bruce are going to win everything this year.  
5/9/2001 19:25 GMT  big mills
scotland are pure pish, they could'nae even get a result against carluke crown!! how could ah no have been born in ireland, this stinks  
2/9/2001 18:51 GMT  the unknown supporter
i watched the bruce in action today and was very impressed with their performance. Surely this will be a successful season for the Hamilton side if they continue to perform like that. Well Done the Lads!!  
12/8/2001 21:02 GMT  season ticket holder
Sampson your signings stink. Where did you get these guys from? Sort it out now! 
9/8/2001 16:59 GMT  listen to lionheart
THIS safety notice appeared on a child's Batman costume. Warning: cape does not allow user to fly. 
2/8/2001 22:23 GMT  big mills
jesus christ, ma feckin legs are gonnae faw aff...go a wee bit easier on the training martin...poor c.j's having a seizure!! 
26/6/2001 13:59 GMT  martin kerr
a big thank you to all who made it out for my stag night on saturday....and an even bigger thank you for those who got me into the shopping trolly and made sure i got home...!!! vive le bruce. 
12/6/2001 16:42 GMT  Big Mills
What do you get when you drink the wine.... a ten pound fine and a years probation, a good hard kicking in the polis station....i'll never drink the wine again!!  
31/5/2001 16:35 GMT  the Glesga'bus walker
I hear old CJ NEARLY WENT A WHOLE YEAR WITHOUT INJURY,but succumbed to the lure of his Hairmyres Premier Points card on the last day of the season. However,I also hear that the reason why The Bruce have appeared at so many different grounds is because he has broken more toilets than a faulty Armitage Shanks foreman with his rancid fumes & odours.  
4/5/2001 08:25 GMT  lionheart
many a girl has been lulled into a false sense of security with the dream of dating a bruce star...!!! {:-) 
30/4/2001 18:49 GMT  lionheart
contact lionheart...!!! 
19/4/2001 14:45 GMT  Young Sooty
Alright old bucks!!!! I'm back on the net. YAHOOOOOOO!!!!. Now i can back to slagging off all the old fellas.  
9/4/2001 17:26 GMT  Sampras
Lionheart, kindly stop winding up Cadzows. 
7/4/2001 01:33 GMT  She want's you Allan
Allan,Hairy Boy, We are going to win the league, and we shall take it upon ourselves to shave your hairy ass. By the way I feel a 4-4-2 would result in a better team performance in the forthcomming season, Champions League here we C-U-M, ya fanny!!!!!!!!!!!! 
7/4/2001 01:27 GMT  Johan
by the way Accies suck the Norwegian Fjords!!! All the best Sampras,k keep up the gods work, bless you!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
7/4/2001 01:23 GMT  Stephen O'Ddonnell BAhons LTV
Stan is my hero especially when he shows his wullie to ususpecting adolescents......although I have to doubt the team managers decision in Geri Halliwell being nicer before!!!!!!!!! Apparently Stan is not 'Lionheart' 
5/4/2001 12:47 GMT  lionheart
ps. cadzow hamilton were beaten 5 nil by rangers....please feel free to offer condolances if you think it is appropriate!!! 
3/4/2001 19:08 GMT  richard glass
allan phone me on 801128, be more than happy to oblige. 
13/3/2001 10:24 GMT  lionheart
Nelson Mandela is relaxing at home when he hears a loud knock at the door. He opens the door to a tiny chinese man standing in front of a truck full of exhausts who thrusts a clipboard at him and says, "you sign." Nelson politely explains he must have the wrong address and closes the door. Next day just before noon there is another knock at the door - this time the chinese manny has two trucks full of car parts and a friend with him. They both push clipboards in front of Nelson and scream, "you sign". Well Nelson is non too pleased from been woken from his sleep for this crap and grabs the wee chinaman who screams out, "you not nissan main dealer." 
6/3/2001 13:54 GMT  lionheart
cadzow hamilton seem to be in bother.!!!! 
20/2/2001 17:55 GMT  stan the dundonian
happy birthday to little stuart hunter he is five. so plenty of growing still to do wee man. i cant wait for the showers next week all the best 
14/2/2001 22:18 GMT  Cindy Crawford
Happy Valentines day to Stone Cold Mitchell. I've heard his staying power at parties is legendary. Oooooooh! 
14/2/2001 12:56 GMT  lionking
a happy valentine's day to all you lovely bruce followers of the female variety xxx 
8/2/2001 13:16 GMT  lionking
thanks for the info. i might even manage to leave the african plain and be in scotland for the end of the season......Roarrr!!!!!! 
7/2/2001 11:46 GMT  wee ashley aka stan aka william aka dobber
dear lionking it seems the squib bib was stolen by a certain 'stone cold' why who knows.since its return it seems poor little stan has a backlog and will be keeping it for awhile despite efforts by other team members such as mr Mackie("oh! im sorry did I hurt you,oh no way man" as the ball is rifled into the net) 
6/2/2001 13:38 GMT  lionking
it appears to me that the sqib bib has been lost or no mention since last year !!! 
24/1/2001 12:27 GMT  martin
greetings from london and good luck for the rest of the season 
8/1/2001 13:00 GMT  lionheart
another 3pts in the bag - lesmahagow deserved to get mauled by the lion's eleven 
7/1/2001 01:24 GMT  she-dragon
hey where is mills in this thing..grrr.. paul, you da man, man!! :) btw, nice site you ppl got here! 
2/1/2001 11:56 GMT  Sooty's No. 1 fan
Wee Sooty is god. the club must break the bank to keep him. 
19/12/2000 19:36 GMT  player from hell
having seen your team in the flesh your are the most ugly football team on the planet bar none 
11/8/2000 16:15 GMT  Sampson
Stuart Darling is a reject of Cadzow Accies in the same way that David Murray is a reject of the Ayr United board. I'm sure, following last seasons debacle, you boys would cut off vital parts of your anatomy to have a player capable of scoring three times against the Stand Club team. Now, unless you tubes have decided to stop talking with your tackle out and actually prove your worth on the park, it would be appreciatted if you left this site alone. Cheers. 
10/8/2000 15:36 GMT  dying rebel
29/7/2000 17:19 GMT  Allan Sampson
All in good time my friend. In the meantime, thanks for this latest articulate, grammar conscious piece of constructive criticism. 
29/7/2000 16:58 GMT  THE JAZZ
27/7/2000 10:32 GMT  stuart douglas
im sorry for labelling your your team unimportant,but censorship being what it is on this website i was unable to say what i really thought of your team.your team is a pub team you have a pubs name and you play in a pub league that is a fact.if you are so desperate to play us join the ssfl,ithink you are jealous,i also think you are being very petty.on the stuart hunter issue,he did play for us in fact if i recall correctly he scored a goal for us,we would have been delighted to have him,it was his choice not to come back to us that is football.i can assure you of one thing alan i have played in the carluke and district league and you are without doubt deluding yourselves about the standard you are playing at. cadzow accies spent a season in a pub league and we have no wish to repeat the experience.dont get ideas above your station,you are not the only pub team we have rejected freindlies against in the close season,we have no interest in playing teams like yours whatsoever.i wish you well in the new season.p;s such is my contempt for you and your team that i can honestly say that this will be the first time i have ever wanted the supporters club team to beat anyone as i will when they play you,enjoy your game you are perfectly suited to each other. 
26/7/2000 18:12 GMT  USA Girls
We love Russell from the Cadzow Hamilton team. Squeal, swoon. He looks so sexy in his Safeway uniform. 
26/7/2000 17:26 GMT  Allan Sampson
A response to a message: My "unimportant wee pub side" have no connections whatsoever with any pub, and play in the Carluke & District Amateur League which contains thirty-eight teams who would murder every team in your supporters league. In that respect I can see your point about "serving no purpose". However, our boys have been eager to play Cadzow Accies since several of your players went on a rich boasting spree down Hamilton one Friday night. The players in question, though, don't seem to have the bottle to back up their claims. You may remember I spoke to "the organ grinder" at Dingwall last year in a bid to arrange a match. However, you informed me that you had no Sunday dates left, and the players available for a midweek match would not do your team justice. This latest match was arranged, not by drunken people in a pub, but by myself having contacted your club secretary, Ewan McGregor, by e-mail. I believe this is normal procedure for arranging friendlies. Ewan, to his credit, agreed instantly and offered two possible dates, with us finally settling on Sunday 6th August. You will find proof of these conversations between your secretary and myself nearer the foot of this page. Finally, I didn't actually say you had refused Accies supporters a game for your team, but I'm led to believe our top scorer last season, Stewart Hunter(an Accies regular), was unsuccesful in a trial for your club. I know he, like the rest of us, is particularly keen to play the "famous" Cadzow Hamilton. 
26/7/2000 09:50 GMT  stuart douglas
15/7/2000 17:35 GMT  Ewan mc
Alan make the game the week earlier as Accies are playing at Elgin on 12th 
7/7/2000 18:37 GMT  Ewan Mc (CADZOW ACCIES STAR)
Can't wait for August 13th as this is the game the whole of Hamilton has wanted for some time. The match needs to be played at a veue worthy of this momentous occasion  
28/6/2000 09:57 GMT  Si's Ex (Findlay Quaye is her to stay 2k!)
G'day mate, well from what ive seen ur sum f**king team! On the boyz!!!  
27/6/2000 22:53 GMT  Marion Easton
Congrats' Mr Sampson with your managerial skills it'll be another successful season. GOOD LUCK PS. Nice 'stems ' Ha Ha Ha  
27/6/2000 22:49 GMT  Sooty Hunter
Hi Old boy well done on last season, all the best for the new one. Bring on the lot of them!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
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