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19/8/2002 09:14 GMT  TV's Patrick Duffy
Button it Gaz! 
17/8/2002 11:38 GMT  Gaz Tops
I am the fu(king Tops man, ya fenian w*nks!! 
13/8/2002 21:53 GMT  Finger the Plumber
I am the tap man! 
13/8/2002 13:36 GMT  TV's Patrick Duffy
Dear Joan it is not my fault that you are a dried up old dyke who would have loved to give my missus Pam a fisting and she wouldn't return your calls when she was on her two year valium binge. Billy, joan and sam i am the top man. 
12/8/2002 09:04 GMT  Hank Horne
I suppose imitation is the greatest form of flattery but the 9/8 entry under my name wasn't me. If nothing else I know the difference between your and you're. Why do people imitate those that they so dearly want to be like. Eh Joan? 
9/8/2002 17:30 GMT  Joan Burnie
Well said Billy, that gay c*nt Anders and his lover Hank are really starting to bore me. They are constantly backing each other up, not just on this website I may add. I am always willing to cross swords with any so-called-man whos slags my 'Record mates.Leave Sam alone, he is getting on a bit. As for you Pat Fluffy, if you were the top man you would not have divorced the lovely Pam, with the gorgeous tits, or let her go for a 2 year sleep ya faggot! 
9/8/2002 15:21 GMT  Hank Horne
Hoi, Ernie, Sam. Your both pussies. 
9/8/2002 09:56 GMT  WEBATA
Scotland V Denmark Tickets have been received. Anyone wishing to travel to the game on the WEBATA bus please contact Anders H or Scott. 
9/8/2002 09:47 GMT  Hank Horne
Well said Anders H. Truth can however still be strange. It is true that the original model in the Marlboro fag ads did in fact die of lung cander!! You listening Paddy Lynch. ps Billy, Patrick is the Guv'nor. 
9/8/2002 08:02 GMT  TV's Patrick Duffy
Haw Sloan, I am the top man ya ride!  
8/8/2002 23:05 GMT  Billy Sloan (friend of the stars)
Anders, who the fu(k gave you the right to put an end to anything? I am the top man around here!! 
8/8/2002 21:59 GMT  Master Bates
I just wasn't there 
8/8/2002 17:25 GMT  Anders H
To put an end to this nonsense. Hank Horne is right. Jim Henson named his characters after his neighbours pets where he grew up (with the exception of Miss Piggy - Probably rode some minger after 10 Pints). Although it is a cute question sometimes truth is not as strange as fiction (i.e. Captain Pugwash) 
8/8/2002 16:13 GMT  Hank Horne
Don't get upset beacause (1) your question is pish and (2) someone answered it. Huffy. 
8/8/2002 15:54 GMT  Showbiz Sam
Obviously, seeing as that's why Jim Henson called them this. Is it coincedence that you are repeatedly referred to as W*nk HorneThis does not mean that I empathise with Ernie whi is quite patently a W*nk also 
8/8/2002 11:26 GMT  Hank Horne
Sam, Sorry to be dull. I truly hope that you are not talking about Bert and Ernie the copper and taxi driver in Frank Capra's - it's a wonderful life. Because whilst they do share the same name it is purely co-inciudental. Sloppy work my friend. 
8/8/2002 11:01 GMT  Vinny
There's a shop in America called 'Frugal Fannies'. 
8/8/2002 09:06 GMT  Showbiz Sam
Ernie/ Hank patter a bit boring but can anyone name the film from which Bert and Ernie get there name (i.e. they were two characters in it). 
8/8/2002 09:00 GMT  Ernie
I thought it was a bit crude for you W*nk. In answer to the question i went to Lake Garda. 
8/8/2002 08:30 GMT  Hank Horne
Whilst I do admire the prose of the previous entry under my name I'm afraid to say it wasn't me. 
7/8/2002 10:57 GMT  Hank Horne
Ernie. Go anywhere nice you shrimped dicked nobody? 
7/8/2002 10:12 GMT  Ernie FAO W*nk Horne
yo tuve en de vacaciones. tú tuviste dicho ese. tú no tienes nada más original para decir? 
7/8/2002 08:25 GMT  Hank Horne
Ernie: 10 days,1hour and 15 minutes. You're to quick of the draw for a simple guy like me!! And of course you can't comment you've got a tiny cock. 
6/8/2002 14:09 GMT  confused
I always thought he was a p00f 
6/8/2002 13:01 GMT  Anders H
Delighted to report that Nikki and Nicola Maher are now the proud parents to twin boys. Mother and boys are doing fine although Father may lose it soon. He will probably be on and off his mobile if people wish to pass on their regards. 
6/8/2002 10:17 GMT  Answer
It's in Craigneuk, 2nd left after the stadium. 
5/8/2002 22:02 GMT  Bert FAO Ernie (the fat pooph)
Yo ho ho, Ernie ma man. Where you been dude? Big Bird is at her wits end wondering if you're still alive. The Count can only manage 1 to 8 and I'm w4nking my own tadger. Have you forgotten (altogether now) "How to get to Sesame Street".  
5/8/2002 17:28 GMT  Some Footie Trivia
Which team holds the record for the longest ever free kick?  
5/8/2002 11:48 GMT  Ernie FAO W*nk Horne
No puedo hacer un comentario de tamaño tu pene porque yo no hac er emprender buscando en los otros genitales. 
3/8/2002 21:42 GMT  The Negotiator
Lads, I've told Sky to phuck aff. 
2/8/2002 20:35 GMT  The Negotiator
Lads, you will never believe this one. I sent a photo of a few of our players wearing the yellow strip (but coloured it to look green) to Heineken asking for sponsorship of a few games in the coming season. Not only did they agree to sponsor 1 game per month, but will arrange for one years supply of "refreshing Heineken". And all because of THE RED STAR. 
2/8/2002 14:52 GMT  Gartcairn
who is your freezer sponsor? Can we get one? 
1/8/2002 23:04 GMT  Videoland
Lads, As well as a new set of strips, what about we provide you with two videos free per week per player, if you promise not to go to Blockbusters! What do you say? If interested Hank, can you please pop into the High St. store and we can strike a deal. 
1/8/2002 09:57 GMT  Hank Horne
Lloyds TSB have called today. Forms will be in post asap and you will all get yours. Do we want training tops or suits? Please let me know.  
31/7/2002 19:36 GMT  The Negotiator
Lads, got the phone call we were waiting on last night. The O2 store in Glasgow are happy to supply 30 mobile phones, free gratis, for the squad and family members if we manage to get our photo in the Evening Times around Christmas time. As we have contacts in that particular pamphlet, I declare this venture "in the bag".  
26/7/2002 11:00 GMT  enzo
They sell Strongbow in Boston that's great news. When I was over last I had to drink Woodchuck Cider. Booking flights soon. 
26/7/2002 10:53 GMT  Vinny
Good to hear anders. I managed to get my team a big sponsor over here in boston - strongbow - only downside is were expected to drink the p*sh on occassion after the match. 
25/7/2002 17:47 GMT  Anders H
Can't reveal names as yet Vincenzo as Chris is tying up some contractual loose ends but it looks like it's going to be a Blockbuster Deal. Only downside I see is that it is going to move The Red Star even further ahead of the other amateur minions and may not be beneficial to Scottish Amateur Football to have one team so dominate in terms of Finance, Ability, Looks and Fan Base.  
25/7/2002 13:14 GMT  Vinny
Hey guys! Who is the new sponsor? 
25/7/2002 12:48 GMT  Seve
He said maybe I should take up golf. Talking about American express, when are the team getting our gold card ? 
25/7/2002 10:33 GMT  Hank Horne
Ernie, Hiding behind a false name. Pretty Pathetic. As they would say in Spain - Usted es un cobarde con un pene pequeño!! 
25/7/2002 10:22 GMT  Vinny
Jesus! The Ernie Walker comment must go down as the most ill-written non-sensical comment ever to appear on this page. Congratulations Ernie!  
25/7/2002 09:06 GMT  Ernie Walker
I am starting up the Think W*nk again and have heard that W*nk Horne is the best in the business. So whats he like harpoon as good as the other Redstarians say? 
24/7/2002 17:04 GMT  Anders H
In hand Hank - Apologies for the delay. Also have has a quote back for a team group booking to the Frankfurt trip for the September Weekend tournament. The SAFA have also heard about it and want to endorse it with The Red Star being, Quote: "Ambassadors for Scottish Amateur Football". I've no problem with that, apart from the fact that they want us to wear Scotland strips and didn't seem to pleased with my desire to put a Red Star in the middle (Slight stumbling block). They are going to publish this on their website and should lead to some good photo opportunities for The Red Star. Well done to JPH, Iain H and Klaus for driving this from both sides.  
23/7/2002 15:31 GMT  Hank Horne
Sorry for the delay in the bank account details chaps. Will hopefully be up and running asap. Eddie can you get a final quote for all the players' boots please. I trust you've been given everyones sizes etc. I want to pay for them before the end of the month when we will have to have the accounts finalised. I got the new nets and strips delivered to the house last night. They look good. Giggsy - How are you getting on with the new serial let for the park? Harpoon - We still have to set a time to meet with the new sponsor and the mini bus company. Just a polite reminder.  
23/7/2002 08:23 GMT  Andy Williams
Are we talking about the same Elaine? I thought they were rather drab! 
22/7/2002 20:10 GMT  Gartcairn
For all you players who cannot afford to pay nearly tenner to turn up on a Sunday to either play with crap or watch crap then you will be more than welcome to join the Bar G. Us folks at Gartcairn dont pay any money have new strips, new training tops and are playing on parks every week that you guys only get a chance to play on every two or three years when you play in the commiserations cup.  
20/7/2002 10:54 GMT  vinny
hey guys - how about losing that sort of comment. Its a bit strong. 
19/7/2002 18:04 GMT  Moira Stewart
I licked Elaine out 2 weeks ago. Lovely tits! 
19/7/2002 08:26 GMT 
Me Washboard! 
18/7/2002 12:56 GMT 
17/7/2002 13:37 GMT 
have u seen it? 
17/7/2002 12:37 GMT  chip
17/7/2002 00:00 GMT  R. S.
What about a pre-season, warm up, friendly, bounce game 
16/7/2002 08:40 GMT  not the view
Gartcairn AFC does not share the view of all the Gartcairn team; I have heard rumors of a friendly between our two teams. Any chance we could get another preseason game in before the start of the season? 
15/7/2002 19:05 GMT  Gartcairn AFC
Can't believ with Scoob in Magaluf your still trying to have a go at him. You can't blame the guy for leaving to play with us, the guy only wanted to better himself, so petty jibes about his size will not upset a guy who has moved on to better things. He's above your attempts to create an unsavoury spirit between our clubs and your teams pish anyway. 
15/7/2002 11:30 GMT  Vinny
Clearly, i didnt write the 'jobbie hole' comment (see spelling of 'vinnie'). And no comment will be made on any relationship. Who dobbed on me anyway? 
15/7/2002 00:08 GMT  rod stewart
give us a game 
14/7/2002 19:40 GMT  Sandy Stewart
How's pre-season going? I'm going to be paying you a visit as I here you've got some talented players. SFL 2nd division standard at least or so I'm told. keep up the hard work lads 
14/7/2002 16:52 GMT  Vinnie
Elaine takes it up her jobby hole, I assure you, i've been there 
13/7/2002 14:59 GMT  Brian
I am Elaine's ex boyfriend and i would rather she was not discussed on this website. I am still trying to come to terms with the break up and dont want to know anything about her weekend exploites. Who the fu(k is Vincent Rodgers? 
13/7/2002 14:21 GMT  Gerry Bhoy Di Canio
Where's all the entries man, has there been a cull? Anyway, who cares about Vinny and mystery 'good looking' burds? The only fu(kin mystery is how they can be good looking!! get my drift boy??? Additionally, any truth in the rumour that Scoobie Scoob Scoob is getting fatter as his Columbian contact, who he needs for the hormone tablets, has been exposed as no other than Carlos the local friendly chipshop owner who has been selling Scoobie Scoob Scoob nothing other than Fizz Bombs for the last 18 months? get a life!! One last thing, who did Alex manninger play for before he joined Arsenal? 
12/7/2002 14:13 GMT  what?
Vinny and Frankie were frolicking with her or Vinny and other brother or do you still not know that Messrs is the plural of more than one mister, that's twice i have had to warn you. 
12/7/2002 11:38 GMT  the eye in the sky
Unconfirmed reports have sightings of Boston boy vincent rodgers and ex mint waitress elaine cowan locked together in centre pish on sunday night. Rumours abound also that Messers Rodgers was frolicking on saturday night after the wedding with an unknown good looking blonde. Any truth in this, Mr Rodgers? 
12/7/2002 09:32 GMT  Richie Rich
So much for The Red Star being the richest sunday league team in the world, the truth always comes out in the wash. 
11/7/2002 18:27 GMT  chip
11/7/2002 15:24 GMT  Hank Horne
Chaps, just to let you know that at the recent meeting it was agreed that a £5 standing order will be paid each month by each player. This will be in addition to usually weekly amounts and it will hopefully mean that we no longer need to scrimp for league fees etc. I will let you all have s/o mandates asap. 
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