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Malia, Crete - July 10th 2001
World Famous Minger League
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World Famous Minger League


It had to end someday, and after 20 weeks of hot competition the World Famous Minger has finished. For the final league standings and all the records read on...
Here is the league table of who pulled the most women and who got the ugliest as voted for by our panel of experts!In case you need reminding here are the points that could be awarded. Obviously the uglier the ladies the higher the points with the score as follows:
1 Point = Stunner!! Girlfriend material. Of similer age to the assailant and exceptionally pleasing to the eye.
2 Points = Very good looking girl. Mature, attractive, worth seeing again.
3 Points = Good looking. Maybe slightly young but definately worth checking out!
4 Points = Above Average. Not attractive to everyone, but has something about her.
5 Points = Average. Probably not the thinest and not great to look at. Beer goggles required!
6 Points = Now we're talking, Either very young or quite unattractive. Probably weighty, but not disasterous. Need at least 6 pints!
7 Points = Pretty Ugly. Fat, young, slapperish, skimpy clothes. Easy prey for Battyeford boys!!
8 Points = Beer goggles no excuse now. Not got a lot going for her! UGLY.
9 Points = My God, he's in trouble if he's had one of these, a real Hogg!!
10 Points = A NIGHTMARE!! Fat slapper, with a minging clock (face). Really disgracefull. No excuse acceptable.
Bonus Points will be awarded by the panel for the folowing:-
Excessive Grafting (Trying to pull a women blatently not interested)
Getting Blown out by an ugly woman (Rejection)
Being Sick when in the company of a woman through alcohol.
Soppy points (being too wet about women!)
What were you thinking? - Bizarre decisions made in an attempt to attract women.
Below: Examples of 10/10 Women (In case you weren't sure!)


That's it, some of the crowd are on the pitch, they think it's all over, it is Now! Ladies and Gentlemen, after 20 weeks of intense competition, ugly chicks and huge alcohol consumption, the World Famous Minger League has come to a close, and we have a winner. Lets hear a huge round of appluase for JON TURTON, who amased an unbeatable tally of points to become the first, and probably last, ever World Famous Ming King!
The league wasn't all a one way battle though, and special comendation must go to Andy Greaves, or Marcy as we all know him, who was neck and neck with Turton for the duration of the competition, at one point, Marcy looked odds on to be the Ming King, but a storming finish from Turton denied him that honour. Other special mentions go to Paul Reid, one off entrant into the league who amassed an never beaten 39 points in one night, truly awesome uglyness and Danny Blackburn who always seemed to be there or there abouts.
That, as they saw, is all folks, and the Minger League will now be confined to history, as we look fondly back on the early days, and remember some of the true trouts the lads pulled in their search for glory. The League won't be returning again, only possibly in one off specials, but the big summer excursion to Malia is sure to bring up some true Holocaust ladies for the lads, and you'll find out about that in the Battyeford In Europe section of the Site.

And the FINAL league looks like this....

Minger League Final Standings

Position Name Points Total women
1 Jon Turton 183 23
2 Andy Greaves 167 27
3 Danny Blackburn 60 7
4 James Tracey 44 10
5 Paul Ried 39 4
5 John Rhodes 28 5
6 Richard Tracey 15 4
7 Munday Bandilay 9 2
8 Adam Gleghorn 8 2
9 Matt Shaw 6 1
10 Dave Dolby 3 0
11 Nigel Saddington 1 0



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