Fines - A Guide To Punishment
After every Saturday game fine master nest officiates whilst fines are charged for all manner of anti-social behaviour or poor play during the match.
All, apart from Les, take this in good part and gladly pay up. Les needs a four page essay of explanation before he will part with 10p.
Below is a list of offences and fine that will be owed.
A Duck = 50p
A Golden Duck (tut tut) = 100p
Failing to make 10 runs if batting in top 7 = 50p
Hitting Butler with a bat = Unforgivable
All other batting crimes will be considered by Nest's Jury.
Wides = 50p each
More than 10 off an over = 50p
Being hit for a six = 50p
Again, all other bowling crimes will be considered by Nest's Jury.
Drop Catch = 50p each
Girly throws = 50p
Ballet dancing = 50p
Byes = 50p for evary 5 runs
Finally, beware of:
Wrong/dirty/poor kit = 50p per item
Swearing in court = 50p
No Shower = 50p
Driving a Dawoo Matiz = 50p
Wearing blue slip ons = 50p
None attendance of court = 300p (unless prior excuse given)
Remember you can and will be fined for anything and everything. Why??? - All monies collected go towards the two great social events of the Cricket year. The first of these is the curry night where the objective is to drink as much lager as the kitty will sustain and the pelt Richard Allee with as much curry as possible. The second is the presentation evening when awards are presented, lager is drunk and Toppers charred offerings are eaten.