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Dave's Dictionary

Celebrations - A box of those small choccy bars you give your Gran at Xmas.

 Control - What others consider clearing a ball, we would consider controllong a ball.

Defeat - Where you put your Predators.

Defensive Error - Otherwise known as Dave Urqhart of Our Team!

Draw - The result of a match we should have won.

Foul - when the opposition goes down like a sack of tatties.

Foul (deliberate) - when opponent manages to do three somersaults before landing on his face, 6 seconds after the ball has left.

Free-kick - something we give the opponents in the knee if they annoy us.

Haymaker - Wild swipe at the ball by a defender, usually resulting in hitting the ball with the standing leg.

Hoof - To get the ball far away from our goal, in any direction.

Offside - An opposing player is offside when we shout at the referee that he is offside.

 Pain - To control a football travelling at high speed with your genitals.

Penalty - A great opportunity to miss in a one on one situation from 12 yards.

 Punt - Clearance attempted to play with side foot to own team but hitting point of the boot and sailing over oppo's bar from 85 yards.

Scottish Cup - something to drink coffee out of, made in Scotland.

Standing leg - Used by defenders to try and kick the ball with.

 Two touch football - This involves attempting to control the ball with a players first touch, then trying to avoid the throw in with the second touch when the first one goes wrong.

Training - A mystical event that many players never experience (Jamie Kerr).

 Well played - What we might say to the oppo if we get soundly beaten.

The Bench- Just look for Dave and your sure to find the bench.

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