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TURFy ACCOUNTS for 3 as he Wops 'Em

Laurence Payne  Monday, February 25, 2002  18:50 GMT

Down Town 3 AC Treporti 1

With a squad that was ravaged by prior commitments the Down Town management were well pleased to be able to put out a 12 man team to face last seasons pace setters on this blustery Sunday morning. A fair bit of tinkering was required and it was good news to see the return of Muzzy, Chinny and Paul Kent after their respective absences.

The game itself was disappointing to say the least, no one was able to put their foot on the ball and neither team put their foot on the ball, except that is Steve Finn, unfortunately when he did put his foot on the ball he fell over. 90% of the first half was played in the AC half with long throw after long throw being hurled into the mixer by Mad Dog Kent. But although they huffed and puffed DT couldnít blow the AC defence down. In fact the best chance of the half came ACís way when their shaven headed mid fielder hoofed the ball forward and over Muzzyís outstretched arms and onto the bar, the ball rebounded to an AC striker who shot was smothered by a grateful Muzzy. DTís response to this was to go down the other end and work a good opportunity for themselves. The non stop running of Daley Thomas was a continual threat all morning, and after a mazy run he played the returning Paul Kent through, as the keeper advanced he slipped the ball past him, he set off on a lap of honour only to be stopped in his tracks as the ball hit the post. Nearest DT player Lol Payne tried to start up his zimmer frame but couldnít get there before the ball was cleared. The slight advantage the wind had given DT was wasted with the half time score being 0-0.

The second half had promised to be different as the wind was now in ACís favour. But to their avail they couldnít get to grips with the hard tackling DT team, Chinny and Jeffsy in particular standing out in that respect. With 10 mins gone in the half DT were awarded a free kick 20 yards out. Turfy fancied his chances, placed the ball and curled in a free kick that left the keeper grasping at thin air, followed by him grasping at his thinning hair. 1-0 surely more to come.

DT now started to look uncomfortable, as leading is not something they are used to doing. Because of this AC were allowed to go on a brief advancement, they worked the ball down the left, the wide man stepped over the ball so many times Mad Dog Kent was hypnotised into not tackling and the boy hoofed over a great cross. Muzzy watched as the ball sailed across the area, Simon watched as the ball sailed across him and into the path of the AC striker who finished well from close range. 1-1.

DT now felt more relaxed and poured forward, creating chances down both flanks. During this spell Payne worked the ball down the left and into the path of Turfy Wilkinson, he sprinted into the box ahead of the AC defence, looked up and saw Thomas unmarked at the back post. He crossed the ball but not into the path of Thomas, into the old onion bag for 2-1.

DT looked like a team who knew they were going to win now and were soon 3-1 up. Again Turfy broke down the left and into the area, his cross this time didnít go straight in, no, this time it rebounded off the central defender and onto his head before crossing the line. Daley Thomas couldnít believe it and Turfy was cock-a-hoop.

AC pushed their big lad up from the back and he had an immediate impact. He was first to respond to a rebound from a free kick, well saved by Muzzy but in his failure to hold it he presented a gilt edged chance for the large lad. Muzzy recovered well to get his testicles in the way and being the big bollox that he is kept the ball out.

DT had time for two more chances, the first falling to Payne, he did well to control a long cross from Paul Kent, a cross that was given extra pace and distance by sulky Steve Finn standing behind it waving his arms in disgust because since he stood on the ball no-one would pass to him, after patting the ball down though Payne fired aimlessly wide. The second chance was more bizarre, Paul Kent chased a ball through that looked a dead cert. to be the keepers, the keeper hesitated and Kenty got in first. The keeper rolled backwards and pushed the ball through a hole in the side netting. The argumentative DT player tried to convince the ref. what had happened but to no avail.

Final whistle reached 3-1. A rubbish game, not for the purist among us, but 3 points all the same. It is nice to win one of these games for a change.
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