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International Goalkeeper signs for Lumley Ladies!

The Gamekeeper's Daughter  Saturday, August 03, 2002  15:48 GMT

Dennis Travels Far and Wide for Lumley's Side

Returning from the Far East this weekend, our very own Dennis Price brings home more than the average souvenir!

That's right folks!  Whilst looking for Nirvana in the Nepalese Himalayas, Dennis came across a 22-armed Indian native named Yakeepa.  He quickly whipped out his ball point pen and she signed on the dotted lines for three grains of rice (eat your heart out McWhoever and McWhatever).

At Calcutta National Airport, Dennis gave the following statement to the press:  "Lumley Ladies are grateful for this unique opportunity to sign a 22-armed goalkeeper.  We note that there are currently no FA regulations outlawing this practise and are thankful that there is no upper age limit in the Regional League as our latest signing is no less than 5000 years old.  She will be joining us in August next year for the training for our 2003-4 season in the Regional League."

It was noted by journalists in Yakeepas local area that the farming population are unhappy that Dennis has 'poached' a valued and efficient member of their harvesting team.  As yet there is no word of a FIFA enquiry. 

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