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MEDICAL ALERT!Jennie Lang Monday, July 02, 2001 22:36 GMT
Ladies and Gentlemen, it is my sad duty to report a new and terrifying out break of the rare and highly contagious proxirelly mirroranus virus, better known as the "Gumby desease"!
The outbreak is thought to have originated in the Michael Park School senior boys soccer team Gabriel Power has had recuring attacks and symptoms persist despite desperate treatment from team doctor Tim Adams.
The extent of the damage caused by this horrific desease was made clear in a series of recent gumby events. There was of course the episode of Ruth (see previouse articles by this Author) and Jessica Harrison has always been a victim, but is is the recent attacks on Jennie Lang (who could not seem to stay on her feet even though the ball was at the other end of the field!) and Alistair (who managed to score a goal off his back!) that are panicing the general soccer populice!
Please keep an eye out for signs which may include falling over ALLL the time, tripping over your own feet (cough Lorrie cough) and or general tangling of limbs (Jess). If symptoms persist please consult your local coach because we mighty michael parkies have to keep our slates clean!
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